


Stereotypes

by AuraFelix



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, Angst, Fluff and Smut, Friendship/Love, Gay Sex, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Romance, Shameless Smut
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-11-09
Updated: 2013-11-10
Packaged: 2017-12-31 23:08:42
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 23
Words: 82,580
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1037483
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AuraFelix/pseuds/AuraFelix
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Having experienced a lot of prejudice in his childhood, Eren has build his life upon a way to never stand out. He rarely shares his ideals and is happy with his organized life, until he meets Levi - an art-student who has the same ideals as Eren, but is not afraid to stand out. University!AU, LevixEren, fluff, smut, foul language.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

Stereotype

_noun_

\- a widely held but fixed and oversimplified image or idea of a particular type of person or thing:  
the stereotype of the woman as the carer  
sexual and racial stereotypes

\- a person or thing that conforms to a widely held but oversimplified image of the class or type to which they belong:  
don't treat anyone as a stereotype

 

* * *

_Prologue_

 

His mother woke him up gently by stroking his hair and removing a few strands from his face.

"It's your first day in school," she whispered softly. As soon as the words settled in his sleepy mind, he opened his eyes and jumped out of the bed. His mother giggled and went up to get the set of clothes she had placed on a chair for him to wear. The boy was fast to get the clothes on and ran to the kitchen, where his breakfast was waiting for him.

His mother walked into the kitchen, pouring up cereal for both of them. She always made sure she had time to eat with him. She knew it would only be a few years before he wouldn't want to eat breakfast with her any more, if he would even eat his breakfast when that time came. She had given birth at a young age - not too young, but still young - and she remembered quite well how she had refused to eat breakfast herself through most of her teenage-years. She knew her son would get to that point too, some day.

She watched him eat his cereal with a spoon a bit too big to fit in his small mouth, hip lips unable to close around the metal. His eyes shined brightly, happy that his first school-day had finally come.

She was alone with him, as his dad travelled a lot due to his work, so she did her best to fill out both roles of parents. She let him decide his appearance for himself, let him have his freedom. He was a good boy and they were happy even though their family was small. He was helpful, caring and very empathic for a six-year-old. They laughed together often, and when she thought back, she only had good memories of their life together. She hoped it would always be like that.

The little boy was done eating and wiped his mouth in a paper-towel before getting of the chair and running out the kitchen-door to get his shoes.

"I can tie them myself today!" he yelled happily from the hallway.

For the last couple of weeks he had practised tying his own shoes, 'cause he had decided that by the time he started going to school, he should be able to do it himself. It had taken quite some time and a lot of practise, but his mother had sat down next to him every time he tried, ready to help him if he needed her. She had come up with all sorts of rhymes and stories to help him remember how to do it, none of them really helping him, but one day he did it, and today was the important day of his deadline.

As the unspoiled child he was, he didn't feel any pressure on him, and he tied them fast, looking up at his mother proudly. His eyes was shining even more than before.

"We're not ready to go yet," his mother said, "You need your bag and you need to brush your hair before we go."

"Will you brush my hair?" the boy asked, sending his mother a pleading look.

His mother fetched the hairbrush and started to brush his hair gently.

"It feels so nice when you brush my hair, Mommy," the boy said, enjoying the caress.

The little boy had long, smooth hair. After seeing an old picture of his dad as young with long hair, he had insisted on letting his hair grow himself. It was a couple of years ago now, and his mother had let him have his way. She had thought to herself, that he might grow tired of it in time, but the little boy had held onto his decision and was now proud of his long hair.

"I never want to cut it!" he kept on saying, every time his mother had asked him if he was ready to get it cut soon. "Never! I want the longest hair in the world, longer than dads!"

His mother was proud to have a son who already knew what he wanted and what he didn't want. Most kids only see what they don't have, but her son never noticed what was missing in his life, he focused on what he had. He had a caring mother, a father who visited him as often as he could and always brought him presents and would play with him for hours. He could decide for himself how he wanted his room, when he wanted to clean it, what he wanted to wear and what he wanted in his lunch box. And now had the day finally come, when he started school.

They walked to the school, hand in hand. His mother thought about how fast time went by and how fast he was growing up. She wished she would always be allowed to walk him to school and always hold his hand.

The boy walked joyfully along her side, jumping up and down, obviously happy to finally be on his was to the school. He sang a home-made song to himself, and his mother smiled to herself by the sight of his happiness.

As they arrived at the school, they found their way to the classroom, where children and their parents already had settled down. The desks were decorated with nameplates, and most of the children was already seated by their name-tags, looking shyly down the desks, while their parents stood along the walls, smiling and waving, some of them even taking photos of their child's first day of school.

His mother smiled and greeted the other parents, gently pushing her son before her. He could feel the nervous atmosphere and the shyness coming from the other kids, and suddenly he felt the same way. His mother stoked his hair, sensing his change of mood.

"Let's find your seat, okay?" she whispered to his, smiling gently to calm him down.

His eyes started shining again and together they found the desk with his name on it. The boy placed himself on the chair, gently as if it was made of glass and sent his mother a look of determination. She understood he wanted her to go to the other parents and find a place to stand along the wall, now that he found the courage to be on his own. She walked back and found a place next to the door, talking lowly to a couple of parents close by, but she kept her eyes on her son. He sat there, his small feet hovering a couple of centimetres above the floor, swinging them absent-mindedly as a look of thoughtfulness settled on his face.

He watched the older children, silently. Some of them moved their nameplates around on their desk, some of them picking thing out of their pencil cases, only to put it back shortly after. The boy studied them curiously. Most of the girls was wearing flowery dresses and bracelets with shining beads. The boys was wearing shorts and t-shirt with either superheroes or cartoons portrayed on the front of the fabric. He looked down at his own clothes. He wanted to look like his father did when he was young, with long hair and chequered shirts, or black t-shirts with the bands his mother and father had listened to when they were young. He liked the music his parents heard, and every time hos mother put on those CD's, they would dance around and sing and laugh together. He really liked the music, and wanted to wear shirts with the names of the bands. But none of the other boys were wearing band-shirts and none of them were wearing necklaces or bracelets, like he was. And all the other boys had short hair.

His mother looked at him thoughtfully, watching how he studied the other kids and then himself. She started to doubt if she had made a mistake to let him have that much freedom to choose.

The teacher - who had been out smoking in the school-yard, walked into the classroom. He greeted the parents and walked up to the blackboard, where he introduced himself to the class. He told them he recently graduate and this was his first job as a teacher. He didn't seem nervous but very relaxed, and the mother thought he seemed like a man who shared a lot of her beliefs that kids needed their freedom, under the responsibility of grown-ups of course. It made her a bit more relaxed, and he seemed like a strong character. She had shortly been afraid her son stood out too much, but she felt comfortable that the teacher would deal with problems between the kids, and - if nothing else - inform her if her son had a troubled time.

After the introduction, the parents were asked to leave as the children would get time to get to know each other. The mother kissed her son on the cheek and promised to come pick him up after school. His eyes was still shining with enthusiasm, but a small frown was visible on his face. His mother wanted to tell him that everything would be okay, but now wasn't the time. It could wait to after school, and with that in mind, she left.

After the parents had left the room, there was a moment of silence before the teacher asked the children to introduce themselves in turn. When it was the boys turn to introduce himself, he stood up proudly and told his name, how old he was and that he had practised tying his shoes for when he started going to school. The other kids watched him long after he was done talking. After all the children had introduced themselves, the teacher told them to go take a break and shoved them out in the school-yard.

They walked out the door in silence, still feeling shy by the situation. The boy tried to smile friendly at the other kids, but most of them was looking down at the ground. He placed himself on a rock in the yard, looking around at his classmates, whereof most of them was standing alone and the few who knew each other beforehand was glued to each other.

Two boys caught his eyes, as they watched him in silence. He got up, walking towards them to strike up a conversation, hoping to make new friends.

"Hello," he said, "my name is-"

"Why is your hair long?" one of the boys asked, cutting him off.

"Because my daddy had long hair," the boy answered, surprised by the sudden question.

"It's only ladies who have long hair," the second boy said, taking a step closer.

"My daddy had long hair too, and I want my hair just as long as his was," the boy insisted, "No, I want it even longer, I want the longest hair in the world!" He was proud of his hair, and he had waited patiently for it to grow this long.

"No, only ladies have long hair," the first boy said again.

"Yeah, ladies and girls!" the second boy continued.

The boy looked at the in shock. What was going on? The other kids was looking at the three of them now, some of them moving closer to get a better look at what was happening.

"No, my dad had long hair too!"

"Where's your dad?" a girl asked as she walked towards the boy, "I didn't see a man with long hair."

"My daddy is travelling right now. His hair is not long any more, but-"

"I don't believe you even have a dad!" the first boy teased.

"Me neither!" the girl contributed.

"That's silly, everybody had a dad," the boy said wisely.

"No, you only have a mom," the second boy yelled, "That's why you have long hair like a girl!"

"N-no!" the boy shouted desperately.

The other kids started laughing, most of them standing around him, teasing him along with the two boys and the girl.

"And you're wearing necklaces and bracelets, like a girl!" the girls laughed, pointing at him.

"No!" the boy yelled. His mother would never let him wear girls' accessories, he knew that. Most of the time she let him do what he wanted, but she would never let him make a fool of himself. Never!

The kids laughed and yelled as the boy looked around, searching for support from a classmate or the teacher. The teacher was standing in the other end of the yard, smoking with a couple of other teachers, not noticing what was going on.

Tears was forming in the boys eyes, as he realized he was alone.

"Now he's even crying like a girl!"

"Eren is a girl, Eren is a girl, Eren is a girl..."


	2. Chapter 2

Eren looked at himself in the mirror, but without seeing anything. There was not anything worth studying, but the OCD-like morning rhythm, demanded that he looked at himself in the mirror on his way the bathroom, even though he was too drowsy at the time, and would not be able to notice any change until he had taken a shower. All the daily chores - from his morning rituals to grocery-shopping - were intertwined through the last several years, and was executed slavishly to the beat of the drums from his heart every single day, without sparing it a single thought.

Although his life was organized and planned, Eren was more than satisfied with his life. He fit in exactly as planned, and no one seemed to have a single negative thought about him. He had no quirks, and every single detail about his looks were planned and designed specifically not to stand out, or create unneeded attention. At the same time he didn't look like a grey mouse or a nerd. He just looked normal.

His brown hair was as common as possible; no one would bother think anything about it. His clothes were nice but dim, and radiated no attitude or demeanour. Eren was just plain normal, sliding into the crowd without anyone actually noticing.

He had moved to the city at age 20, shortly after he had finished high school. He had lived with his father for the first six months while looking for an apartment. His father travelled a lot, so he had the house to themselves most of the time he lived there. It had suited him quite well. His father had rarely been home through his childhood, causing his parents to get a divorce when he was about ten years old. When Eren was a kid, his father had tried to come home as often as possible, he always brought gifts from his trip and he would play with Eren for hours, before taking off again. But over time it just wasn't enough for Eren. His father was never really a part of his life. Eren realized his father probably tried to buy his trust and friendship by treating him to expensive gifts and gave him a lot of money. It seemed ridiculous that he tried to catch up on several months on a single afternoon.

Eren had told both his teacher and his mother about the bullying from day one in school, but no matter how much his mother had tried to talk the teacher and other parents into doing something about it, no one cared to deal with the problem. Eren had tried to slip into the crowd back then, by cutting his hair, and thrown out his necklaces and clothes. When his mother had picked it out of the trash and told Eren that he shouldn't be influenced by his classmates opinions, he had cut it all to pieces and stated that he would only wear what other kids wore. But nothing changed. His classmates had stamped him as an oddball. Placed him in a box as a freak; one who had no father, and looked like a girl. The prejudices hang onto him throughout his school- and high school years.

So he decided to move to another city. No one knew him here and he could start all over. In the six months he lived with his father, he planned carefully how to deal with his appearance and how he should act as soon as he attended university. He wanted avoid things repeating itself at all costs.

He wasn't unfriendly towards others, and he managed to enjoy himself most of the time, but he always remained neutral. Unconsciously, his first priority in life was to never get judged by others, never to be put in a box again. The mere thought of being judged by others, could give him cold sweats, so he kept his opinions to himself. No one had the right to judge him. Way to few people realized that no one can be put in a specific box, since all people are different. Studying the people around him, listening to their conversations when they talked behind someone's back, he had discovered how a single preconception could turn into many.

In his class, there was a raven-haired girl named Mikasa, who rarely talked to anyone and almost never spoke up during the lectures. That was how Eren saw her. According to some of his classmates, she was an emo, she was an oddball, she probably had an abusive boyfriend or a troubled childhood, making her antisocial. Eren had tried talking to her, and none of it had been true; granted, she wasn't the most social person in the world, but she hadn't had a troubled childhood and she didn't have a boyfriend at all. She was often tired in the morning, explaining why she rarely spoke up, and she wanted to pay the professors respect by not interrupting the lectures. Simple as that.

Eren didn't correct his classmates when they talked about Mikasa. He had leaned that if he defended someone who had a negative brand, it would affect him as well.

So he kept a low profile, not wanting anyone to have a reason to judge him

Eren skipped through the rapport the professor had just returned. He had gotten an A in the assignment. He gathered the papers, putting them away without letting his expression change by his good grades. It had been an important assignment, the grades counting for a lot, but he strove not to show the enthusiasm he felt inside, happy to get that good grades.

"Did you get a good grade?" Jean asked, looking over his shoulder at Eren.

"I got a C," Eren lied. He often lied about his characters. Even though he worked hard to get good grades, he didn't want to stand out as someone too brainy or hard-working. Most of the times he got A's and B's, but he always told his classmates that he got C's. Average, normal, not standing out.

"Yeah, me too," Jean said, not really caring about his grades that much, "Come on, let's get out of here!"

They got up and went outside, enjoying the warm sun on their already tanned skin. It was the middle of the summer and it was Friday. Normally that meant partying all night long, and this day was no different.

Eren and Jean used to grab a couple on beers after the last lecture, waiting for Mikasa and Armin to join them later on. Jean and Eren wasn't exactly best friends, but Jean was extremely normal, giving Eren a reason to want to hang out with him, and Eren was one of very few people Mikasa cared to hang around, giving Jean a reason to want to hang out with Eren, as he had a crush on the raven-haired girl.

After buying a six-pack each, the two guys sat down on a bench and waited for the other two to join them. Small-talking and sipping on the beers, they enjoyed the first minutes of the weekend, and before they knew it, Mikasa and Armin joined them, grabbing a beer each. Eren introduced Mikasa to Jean properly, and had to hold back a giggle as Mikasa looked at Jean completely uninterested. Jean wasn't a guy to just give up like that, of course.

Eren had adjusted to his way of living by now, and he no longer needed to think about everything he said. His body and mind was on auto-pilot by now, and he almost didn't think about his need to not stand out any more.

They enjoyed the afternoon in the sun together, until they were approached by a brown-haired girl from the university, who none of them had classes with, but everybody knew who she was. She was just one of those people who knew everybody and no one really knew how she managed to keep up such a huge social-life along her studies. She was kind though, a bit eccentric, but nice acquaintance.

"Levi!" she yelled, slapping Eren on his back and stealing his beer, while smiling extremely friendly to the four of them.

"What? Why on earth would you call me Levi?" Eren asked and lifted an eyebrow at the girl.

"Eren! God, sorry - Eren!" Hanji laughed, rubbing her neck in embarrassment before hiding her face as she took a sip of Erens beer, "My new neighbour's name is Levi and he reminds me a lot of you, so I guess the name's just stuck in my head. You know, dark hair, short posture, short name." She laughed and gave Eren back his beer.

"I'm not really sure if that's a compliment or not," Eren said, sending the girl a teasing smile as his three friends giggled.

"You know, I haven't really had time to talk to him properly, but he seems cool. Looks like a punker, but otherwise he seems cool," Hanji said after thinking about if it was a compliment or not to be compared to Levi.

"Looks like a punker," Eren repeated the sentence to himself in his head, "So she haven't really talked to him, but she has already put him in a box."

He looked down at the beer in his hand, but didn't say anything, none of the others noticing the slightly annoyed expression in his eyes as he sighed.

"Anyway," Hanji said, remembering why she approached them in the first place, "I'm having a little get-together tonight to celebrate that it's finally Friday. You guys should come!"

Eren looked at his three friends, waiting for them to respond.

"Sure!" Mikasa and Armin said as one, looking at Eren who looked at Jean. Jean looked up at Hanji, nodding and sending her bright smile. They all looked back at Eren, waiting for him to respond.

"Yeah, okay," she shrugged, and took another sip.

"Great!" Hanji beamed, jumping up and down, "Come by around 8 then!"


	3. Chapter 3

"Ereeeen! Eren, this is Levi!" Hanji laughed drunkly, walking towards the brunette, dragging another man alone, "Eren, I found Levi!"

Eren could feel the alcohol in his body, but he wasn't nearly as drunk as Hanji. The brunette looked at Levi, studying his features, and Levi returned his gaze.

"Levi?" Eren asked, not really remembering the name.

"You know, my neighbour," she beamed, cheeks pink due to the massive amount of beer she had consumed. She turned to the other man laughing, "Levi, it's just that, I accidentally called Eren Levi today, because you two kinda look alike."

Despite Levi being completely sober, he made a huffed giggle at the statement. It wasn't to be polite, it was an honest laugh, possibly because he couldn't really see why she would think they looked alike.

"You know," Hanji whispered drunkly, as if reading his mind, "You are both kinda short and have dark hair and short names." She laughed loudly, apparently thinking it was the funniest thing she'd ever said, and walked towards the mini-fridge to get more beer.

"Levi," the man introduced himself properly, reaching out his right hand. It was slim and he had long fingers.

"Eren," the brunette said and shook his hand, "How long have you known Hanji?"

"Not really that long, I just moved in a couple of weeks ago. She's very friendly though." Levi answered, moving a bit closer to Eren to be able to talk to him through the loud music.

Hanji came back shortly, throwing a beer towards each of the guys. She seemed to remember her funny statement from earlier, and laughed while getting back to her other guests.

Eren studied Levi. He had black hair with undercut, pierced ears and eyebrow, and part of a black tattoo lingered on his neck over the edge of his shirt. He was wearing a black simple tank-top, showing his toned arms where a few more tattoos was showing, and ripped jeans along with a pair of outworn Converse All Stars. Except for the smirk crossing his lips as Eren studied him, his face didn't really show much emotion. But his grey eyes, on the other hand, showed it all, expressing raw emotions all the time. It was very interesting.

"What's up, brat?" Levi finally said, not able to hold himself back after the brunette had scanned him up and down for a couple of moment. He lifted the pierced eyebrow and his smirk grew a bit wider, as Eren realized that he had been starring for too long.

"You know," the brunette started, "Hanji thinks you're punker-like and I'm just trying to figure out what she based that assumption on."

"Have you come up with an answer?" The raven-haired man asked, locking eyes with the brunette.

"It could be your hair, or the fact that you're pierced and tattooed." Eren answered honestly. Levi was about to give retort, when the brunette continued. "I'm not judging you. I have a habit of trying to figure out why people put other people in boxes, or judging them without knowing really knowing them. I'm not calling you a punker or emo, but I want to know why people think that about you."

Levis expression had changed into something more serious. He studied Eren carefully, as if to see if it was a joke.

"You can judge me freely as you want, I don't really care," he finally said calmly.

"I don't judge people," Eren stated, still keeping the eye-contact with the raven-haired man.

"Neither do I," Levi said, breaking the contact to look back at Hanji, "But when you choose to live without filters, you are bound to get judged by others."

"What do you mean-"

"Eren!" Levi cut him off, sending him a charming smirk again, "I'm terribly sorry, but I have to go now. It was nice meeting you."

Levi slid rapidly to the other end of the room to say goodbye to Hanji. Eren was left alone, slightly drunk and a bit confused about the short but deep conversation he had just had with the strange man.

Levi sent him a glance from the door and left. Shortly after Eren received a text from a unknown number:  _Now you've got my number. Let me know if you want to continue our conversation some day. Levi._

Eren smiled to himself, but decided to wait until the next day to answer the text. He went to the couch where a quite drunk Jean sat, hitting on Mikasa. She was obviously disgusted by his attempt, but a bit too polite to shove him away.

"Come on, Jean, let's get out of here," Eren yelled to his friend, not really in the mood to hang around any more.

"What? No!" Jean yelled back, clinging to the couch.

"Come on, I wanna go to a bar or something. She's too pretty for you anyway, you don't stand a chance." Eren teased, winking at Mikasa who send his a grateful smile.

"Thank you, Eren," she smiled, finally getting away from Jean and got up to find Armin.

After admitting defeat, Jean got up as well, and they said goodbye to Hanji, leaving to find a bar, where they could hang around and drink the rest of the night. Eren tried to drown his mind in alcohol, but Levi and their short conversation kept on popping up. He had planned to wait until the morning to answer Levis next, but getting a little too drunk, he couldn't help himself.

_Thanks, I'd really like to talk to you again sometime. Eren._

* * *

 

Eren had passed out on his couch with his phone in one hand, when a text woke him up. Due to the massive amount of beer he had consumed the night before, it took him a couple of minutes to remember what had happened last night and where he'd been.

He threw his phone on the coffee-table as he got up to, already forgetting about the text awakening him. He suddenly felt like he was about to throw up, and ran to the bathroom, barely making it. When he was finally done greeting the contents of his stomach, he went to the shower, sitting down on the floor and letting the cold water splash down his hungover body.

As his body cooled down, he went through last nights events in his head. He remembered drinking with Jean, Armin and Mikasa in the sun outside the university, after which they went to Hanjis dorm for her get-together. She was already drunk as shit when they arrived, but the get-together had been nice and cosy. He had talked a lot to Armin and had had to save Mikasa from a drunk Jean, just before he and the latter had ditched the party to go to a bar and drink beer for the rest of the night. What else happened?

Levi! He had met Levi, Hanjis new neighbour. Eren remembered their brief but interesting conversation. Either had he been way more drunk that than assumed, or they might have more than ' _a short posture, dark hair and short name_ ' in common.

Eren got out of the shower and went to the kitchen to get some painkillers, as his head felt like it was about to break in two. He promised himself never to touch a single drop of alcohol again, just like he always did when hungover. He went back to the living room and turned on the TV, ready to waste the rest of the day on the couch.

He remembered the text which woke him up, and grabbed his phone from the coffee-table. A single laugh escaped through his nose, as he saw who the text was from.

_You must be pretty hungover today. Come by the dorm and I'll make you a cup of coffee and we can continue our conversation from yesterday. Levi._


	4. Chapter 4

Still hungover, Eren arrived at the dorm, where Hanji and Levi lived. Remembering where the brown-haired girl lived, he quickly found her neighbour; the raven-haired male he was here to visit. The brunette knocked on the door.

"It's open!" Levi shouted from the other side, and Eren slowly opened the door, peaking inside. He didn't know what he'd expected, but certainly not what met his eyes.

The room was about the same size as Hanjis; tall windows along the opposite wall of the door, where from the afternoon sun streamed into the room. Pictures and paintings hang all over the walls, making the room warm and colourful, and made up for the lack of furniture. There was a bed in the corner with colourful and soft-looking pillows neatly arranged along the wall and above, a huge lamp which looked like a giant snowflake. Next to the bed stood an old beautifully carved cabinet, it's top almost reaching the ceiling and it's shadow made the bed-corner cosy and a cut off from the rest of the room. There was a desk by one of the windows with pots and mugs filled with pencils and paintbrushes all along the edge and on the opposite side of the cabinet, Levi sat on a black British couch, made of leather, with a guitar resting in his lap. On the right side of the couch, next to the window, was a big and worn easel placed upon a sheet covered in painting in all colours, and on the other side of the couch, an old record-player let a rusty-sounding version of a The Doors LP, fill the fascinating room.

Levi lifted his pierced eyebrow ans smirked at the sight of Eren not able to hide his fascination by the room, as the brunette finally collected himself and walked into the room and closing the door behind him.

"Wauw..." Eren said, looking around again, noticing new things every time he turned his head, "You really have a lot of stuff."

"Nah, not really when you think about it. I prefer to keep it easy to clean. There's nothing worse than dust in the paint." he frowned by the bare thought of it.

"You paint a lot?" Eren asked as he walked towards the couch and bumped down next to the raven-haired man.

"Of course, I'm an art-student." Levi answered, letting his fingers hit the strings to emphasize the statement.

"Have you painted all these?" the brunette asked, looking around at the paintings in the room.

"Most of them."

"Can I take a look?"

"Knock yourself out, brat," Levi smirked, turning his attention back to his guitar, stroking the strings along to the Doors song playing now.

Eren looked at him playing for a moment, fascinated by how fast his could move his long fingers across the neck of the guitar. The raven-haired was pretty skilled.

The brunette rose from his seat, walking around in the room to study the many paintings covering the white walls. If Levi had pained most of them, it was easy to make out which was his art and which wasn't. Most of the paintings had the same features; soft, round forms, mostly of people but really simplified. They didn't have many features on their faces or bodies, but their eyes were big and pitch-black, giving them a kind and caring expression. The motive in the paintings would often be very simple and stylized while the background contained a lot of little details.

Eren had stopped by a big painting, possibly one of Levis own, if he had guessed right about Levis style. On the painting was a man and a woman, simply painted like the rest with soft and round features and the same black eyes. It was painted in profile, possibly to show the connection between their eyes. The man was sitting on the ground with his knees bend and the woman was kneeling over his crotch in a position as if she was about to propose. They were naked but there was absolutely nothing sexual about the painting; Eren had been caught by the connection between their eyes. The way they looked at each other with a tiny smile on their faces and the way their hands were placed on each others bodies, was so very emotional that Eren couldn't take his eyes away. The painting was so incredibly beautiful.

He looked back at the raven-haired man in the couch, deeply concentrated with the instrument on his lap. It was hard to believe that this colourful and emotional painting was made by a man who mostly wore black, ripped, studded clothes, who's body was pierced and tattooed and who's face most of the time was expressionless. The brunette remembered faintly how he had studied those grey eyes and come to the conclusion that what his face lacked in emotions, his eyes certainly made up for tenfold.

Eren looked back at the painting, getting lost in the beautiful abstract details in the background. It looked like flowers and fireworks and leafs with a big yellow moon hovering behind the two lovers faces. He hadn't noticed that Levi had put the guitar down and was standing next to him, looking at the painting as well.

"You like it?" the raven-haired asked, eyeing his own piece.

Eren almost jumped out of his skin, when Levi spoke up. The silvery metal in the raven-haireds eyebrow glinted in the sunlight as he cocked the thin line of hair. Eren cleared his throat and pretended nothing had happened. He looked back up at the painting.

"Yeah, it's very interesting," he answered, studying the little details painted in gold as the sunlight reached the painting and made the golden paint shine and dance.

"It's one of my own favourites," Levi said with a smug smile on his face, as he looked over his masterpiece, "You want a cup of coffee?"

"Yeah, thanks," Eren answered, still looking at the beautiful painting, "Is it... you and your girlfriend?"

"Does it look anything like me?" Levi shouted from the bathroom where he filled his electric kettle with water, "No, I never paint portraits of people I know, including myself. It's boring."

He walked back into the room and plugged in the kettle by the desk and turned to look at Eren while the water started boiling.

"Besides, I don't have a girlfriend."

"Oh," Eren said in an expressionless voice, not that he really cared. "So what did you want to talk about?"

Levi walked back to the couch with a mug in each hand, gesturing for Eren to join him. Eren sat down next to the raven-haired man and took the mug from his outstretched arm.

"I was intrigued by what you said last night," the raven-haired started, taking a sip of his coffee, "That ' _you don't judge people_ '."

"What's intriguing about that? You told me you don't judge people either." Eren said, blowing at the top of the mug to cool down his coffee.

"Yeah, but as you probably know, not many people can't help themselves from judging others. I want to find out if it's true what you said." Levi answered, looking at the brunette with a calm expression.

"If I judged people without knowing them, I would probably have declined your invitation today, based on your punk-ish look. As you can see, I look pretty average and if I had thought you to be what people would call 'a typical punker', I would assume we didn't have anything in common," Eren spoke honestly, "but here I am."

"But you had no problem telling me why other people would think of me as 'a typical punker', to use your own words. Wouldn't you think that means you already had judged me yourself?" Levi asked, with a piercing look in his eyes.

"As I said yesterday; I have a habit of trying to figure out why people put other people in boxes, or judging them without knowing really knowing them."

Levi looked away, huffing out a smug breathy laugh. "Fair enough, brat. I believe you."

"What about you?" Eren asked, wanting to know if Levi was really able to keep himself from judging others as well, "You told me, that when you live without filters, you are bound to get judged by other."

"Look at me; I'm an art-student, I look like 'a typical punker' and I never beat around the bush. Of course people are gonna judge me all the time," Levi smirked, but Eren sensed a bit of hurt and annoyance in his eyes. It seemed like the raven-haired man hated being judged based on his looks, even though he might not want to admit it.

"It must be hard not to start judging others, if they judge you just like that." Eren stated, trying to make Levi admit he had a problem with being judged.

"No, not at all!" Levi laughed a bit, and his expression softened a bit as he looked at Eren again, "If I started judging people, that wouldn't keep them from still judging me. I don't really care what they think of me, I  _know_  who I am. If I judge them, I would just give them another reason to keep on judging me. People think I wear these clothes because I'm a rebel, because I want to make a statement by how I dress. The truth is, I just like the style. Just like my paintings; I paint the style I love. It doesn't have to be the same style. There's no need to judge yourself either, you don't have to put yourself in a specific box."

Eren looked at his mug for a moment, letting the words sink in slowly.

"I haven't really thought about it that way before," he spoke slowly, as he agreed on the raven-haireds statement.

"You don't have to agree with me, I'm just telling you what I believe," Levi said and emptied his mug, while Erens was still almost full. "I think the human is designed to contain many different kinds of styles. I might prefer to wear black and grey shades, but my paintings are colourful and emotional. I think, that when you stop judging yourself, when you stop trying to put yourself in specific boxes, that's when you start to live without filters. That's when a human is the essence of beauty."

Eren looked at Levi, left speechless by the raven-haireds mans words. Everything he had just said felt so  _right_ , and he couldn't believe he'd never thought about it himself. He had been too caught up on fitting in and not being judged, that he hadn't had time to think deeper. He looked around in the room, and noticed all the different styles put together in the room. Together like this, none of it really belonged to a certain style or type; it was all just Levi.

The brunette looked back at the raven-haired who had trailed off, looking ahead with a distant look in his eyes. Subconsciously counting the piercings in Levis ear facing him, Eren thought to himself, that Levi probably refused to do anything unless he could put himself a hundred percent into it, making it a part of himself and his expression. As he counted the twelfth piercing, placed at the tangus, he thought to himself, that it didn't really matter if Levis face was expressionless, when he expressed himself so clearly through everything else.

The grey eyes found his green, and Levi lifted his eyebrow and smirked: "What's that, brat, cat got your tongue?"

"No, I was just thinking. I like your point of view. You're quite fascinating." Eren said, adding the piercing in the other mans eyebrow to his equation.

"Well, you're quite fascinating yourself, Eren."

"Really?" Eren asked in disbelief. He was trying to make himself uninteresting enough to just blend in, "How so?"

"It's fascinating how stupid you look while counting my piercings," Levi smirked, making Erens ears turn pink.

The brunette thought to himself that the most fascinating thing about Levi was, that such beautiful words and such insults, could come from the same mouth.


	5. Chapter 5

Eren spend Sunday studying for a test on Monday, in which he hoped to get an A, but would of course tell people he got a C.

On Monday, the brunette got up, looked at himself in the mirror as always on his way to the bathroom, too drowsy to notice anything - as always. He took a shower, washed his body and hair and got dressed in a plain grey polo-shirt and dark-blue jeans. He didn't spare his morning-routine a single thought, as usual, and grabbed a piece of toast on his way through the kitchen.

His apartment wasn't that big, but it was perfect for him. He had a large living room with enough space to house his couch, TV and all his games for his X-box. Next to the living room was his bedroom, bathroom and a nice big kitchen, though he didn't cook that often. His father had paid a large fair of the apartment, as Eren had refused to live at a dorm. He didn't mind dorms, it just wasn't a place he wanted to stay even though he had to admit that the place where Hanji and Levi lived, wasn't bad at all. Both their rooms were much bigger than any other dorm he had seen and they were bright with high ceilings and it generally seemed like the architect had been inspired by old noble residences.

On his way to the university Eren wondered what they had to pay to live there. Not that he was interested in moving, but it was kind of interesting.

When he arrived at the front-gates to the university, he heard his name being shouted in an excessively morning-fresh tone and he thought to himself, that it couldn't be anyone but Hanji.

He stopped and looked back over his shoulder, and sure enough; the brown-haired girl came walking towards him, waving. Behind her was none other than Levi.

"Hey guys," Eren said, still a bit tired, "What are you doing here?" he asked , facing Levi.

"I go here," the raven-haired male said, coldly.

"Yes, I discovered by chance, that Levi started studying here, at the art-department. I had no idea we had such a department here!" Hanji laughed, as happy as ever.

Eren wondered where the hell she got all the energy from.

"I had heard something about it at the beginning of the year. I think it's in the other end of the building. I don't think it's a very big study, not that many students, am I right?" Eren said questioning, looking at Levi again. Levi nodded and took a sip of his Starbucks. It seemed that he was just as much of a morning-person as Eren was.

"Can I come down and visit you sometime, Levi? I can't understand how there are parts of the university I haven't seen yet and people I haven't met!" Hanji didn't wait for an answer, she had already decided and she seemed even more happy now at the thought of discovering parts of the university.

Eren looked around and suddenly became aware of all the attention they attracted. Hanji, because almost everyone knew her and greeted her on the way to the entrance, and Levi - well, because he was very eye-catching, as he stood there in black ripped jeans, military-boots and a loose white Mötley Crüe band-top , biker-gloves and a black bandana around his right biceps. His cup of Starbucks to-go suddenly seemed completely out of place, but considering that Levi always did as he pleased, it wasn't really something to question.

Nevertheless, Eren began to feel uncomfortable at the attention the two of them attracted, and he excused himself and said he had to prepare for the test, and hurried through the entrance and found the room in which his first lectures that day, was about to start.

The brunette took a seat next to Jean in the middle of the room - not far in front to seem like an striver (where Mikasa, among others, sat) and not far in the back of the room, so that he seemed like someone who didn't give a shit about the lectures. Speaking of people who did not care about the lectures; a tall blond guy, who Eren had hardly ever talked to, was suddenly standing in front of Jean and Eren, and looked down on them with an arrogant expression.

"What's up, Eren?" Reiner saluted, "Who was punker?"

"What are you talking about?" Eren asked quietly, although he had an idea about what Reiner wanted.

"The one you were talking to at the entrance just now? He looked quite... special!" Reiner grinned and leaned his hand against Erens table, "I didn't know you hung out with scum like him."

"I talked to Hanji by the entrance," said Eren with an indifferent tone, and hoped that Jean hadn't noticed that he had actually talked to Levi at Hanjis get-together last Friday. Jean looked puzzled but quite interested in the two men's discussion. Fortunately for Eren, Jean had been too preoccupied with Mikasa to notice who Eren spoke to at Hanjis.

"Well, okay then," Reiner said with a hint of teasing in his voice. He was obviously not convinced, but couldn't prove that Eren lied. "Maybe you liked to run around as an autonomous in your spare time, who knows?"

Eren got a bit annoyed by Reiners generalization of Levi, based on his appearance, but chose to keep a low profile as always. Reiner knocked the desk before moving back to his seat in back of the room, leaving Eren alone.

"What was that about?" Jean asked as Eren sighed deeply and turned his attention to his notes from the last lesson.

"I do not know," the brunette replied coldly.

 

* * *

 

Later that day, Eren was on his way to another lecture along with Jean and Mikasa. Jean had finally grasped that Mikasa wasn't interested and had started to speak to her more friend-like instead of his pathetic attempt to knock her off her feet with cheesy one-liners, though she continued to be as taciturn as always. Eren was lost in his own thoughts, and tried to blend in with his surroundings when a hand grabbed his shoulder. He turned his head and saw Hanjis familiar energetic smile.

"Hello again, Eren," she smiled and he stopped.

"Just keep going, guys, I'll catch up with you in a while! " he shouted to the other two before Hanji managed to say any more. He had a suspicion that it was about Levi; it seemed like Hanji had sensed that they got along pretty well.

"What's up, Hanji?" Eren asked when the other two was out of sight and they only were surrounded by students he didn't know and most likely barely noticed him.

"Do you wanna go down and say hello to Levi? I would die to see what they're doing down there!" Hanji said, and with Erens knowledge of her endless curiosity, it wouldn't surprise him if she actually meant it.

"I have lectures in ten minutes," said Eren calmly.

"Later then!" Hanji insisted. Despite her social and outgoing personality, she was apparently reluctant to move all alone in unfamiliar surroundings, "I ran into Levi in the lunch-break, and he's down there all afternoon. They apparently have some rooms available as a creative workshop, and he told me they are a few people who uses them from time to time. Please, come with me, I'm sure that it'll be very interesting and I really want to see who he hangs out with!" Hanjis eyes widened as she spoke and she looked pleadingly at the brunette.

Eren scratched his neck. It wasn't like he didn't want to, he wouldn't mind seeing the other end of the university, but he wasn't too happy to be seen with people who stood out too much. It didn't fit into his plan about fitting in and not draw attention to himself, but on the other hand, Levi didn't fit into that plan either, and the brunette had really enjoyed their conversation last Saturday and it would be a shame to just cut the contact completely. Eren felt like a lice between two nails.

"Um... Can we wait 'till after my lectures then?" he asked. He knew that his class was among the last people at the university on Mondays, and that most of the other students had gone home when they were done. It would give him a greater chance of not being seen, and as the art-students didn't really resided in the same end of the university as he did, he would feel fairly safe .

"Yeah, sure! You are awesome, Eren, I'll just wait for you in the library after my last lecture, then you can just come up there when you're ready," the brown-haired girl replied and patted him on the shoulder before she went on in the direction he had come from.

Eren looked after her for a moment, and noticed how many people she managed to greet before she turned around the corner and disappeared.

"I must be crazy," he thought to himself, and continued in the direction Mikasa and Jean had gone.

 

* * *

 

After his last lecture, Eren said goodbye to Jean. The latter asked about why Eren wasn't going home and the brunette had excused himself as he had promised to help Hanji with some notes before he went home, and walked off to the library before Jean had time to ask more questions.

As promised, Hanji sat in the library and waited for him. She was chatting to a few other students, much to the annoyance of the other students in the library. As always Hanji didn't care and didn't even try to muffle her laughter.

"Eren!" she yelled when she saw him, earning her few angry glares and a couple of students shushed at her. "Sorry - Eren!" she whispered, waving her arms.

"Shall we go?" Eren whispered, wanting to get out of the library and away from all the gazes, Hanji attracted.

"You have to meet to my friends first," Hanji insisted, and turned to the two students around the table she was sitting at, "This is Petra and Mike," she said, pointing at a red-haired girl who smiled and waved and then on a tall blond man with a beard. "This is Eren -" Hanji continued and put a hand on Erens back and pushed him a little further, "-he is the one whose name I got confused by my neighbours. I really don't know why but, I accidentally mix them up."

"Yes, Hanji, shall we go?" Eren said, really wanting to go now. He didn't know if Petra and Mike knew much about Hanjis neighbour, but he wasn't willing to hang around and find out.

"Yes, let's go!" Hanji answered, and waved goodbye to her friends who turned their attention towards their studies.

"Are you excited?" Hanji asked when they went into the hallway, and headed towards the other end of the university.

"Naah, I guess it'll be kinda interesting" Eren said and shrugged. He looked back over his shoulder to see if there were others nearby, and got a bit annoyed with himself because of his behaviour. It wasn't as if what they did were illegal. He just didn't want to stand out from the crowd. Levi was a pretty cool person and really good to talk to, but the brunette was just not willing to put his rehearsed life and planned façade on the line, just because of an interesting person.

It was the only university in the city, and thus quite big, so it took them about ten minutes to get down to the art-department. The entire building was quiet and peaceful, and they didn't meat any other people except for a cleaning-lady on the way down there. When they got further down, they could see the areas behind the university through the tall windows. Eren had never been here before and had never thought about what was behind the university. The whole building was surrounded by a black metal fence and behind the fence, was a small park with tall trees and something, that looked like a small pond, could be seen through the thick green treetops, standing in full bloom at this time of summer. Eren noted that he would occasionally look at the park. It often came as a shock to him how little he actually knew about this town.

Hanji led them around a corner and they could suddenly hear the music from the other end of the hallway.

"I think we've found it," Hanji smiled, and picked up her pace towards the sound.

As they came closer, Eren could recognize the sound of Londonbeat, a band his mother had often heard when he was a child. She had told him that his father and her always listened to the band when she was pregnant with him, and as a child she danced around with him on the hip while the music was banging out through the speakers. Eren smiled to himself at the thought of the good memories, and was amused to rediscover Londonbeat at the far end of the university.

Hanji slowly opened the door to the room where the music came from, and slammed it open when she realized she had found the right place. Three pairs of eyes were directed towards her and Eren, who appeared behind her.

"Holy shit!" the brown-haired girl exclaimed and looked around the room with shining eyes. The room reminded Eren of Levis room, but this one was much more messy. On the walls hung sketches, pictures, photos and many other strange things overlapped each other, and a variety of drawing and painting utensils filled the desks and shelves, along with a whole lot of things that Eren had no clue what was used as.

"I had a feeling you guys would come and annoy me today," Levi sighed and got up from the desk at which he sat. He was wearing an apron and rubber gloves and had wrapped a white handkerchief around his hair to get rid of paint stains. It seemed to work though, because while his black locks was perfect as always, the handkerchief was stained with paint.

"Fascinating!" Hanji exclaimed, still looked around the room.

"Close the door before the cleaning-staff throw us out because of the noise," Levi snarled and pulled the two brunettes into the room, slamming the door behind them. "Do you want a cup of coffee?"

"Yeah, thanks," Eren replied, who felt a bit out of place in the assembly.

The two other men in the room looked kindly at the two newcomers, and smiled.

"Come on, Eren, let's greet hippies!" Hanji beamed, and pulled Eren further into the room. Despite her habit of calling people what she thought they looked like, she had a charming and straightforward way of expressing herself, Eren thought to himself. It was most likely why she could get away with calling people 'the hippie' or 'the punk' straight to their faces.

Hanji pulled him towards a large easel, where a tall blonde guy stood. He had undercut as Levi, but aside from that could Eren see why Hanji had called him a hippie - objectively speaking, of course. He had incredible blue eyes and three dreadlocks hanging on one side of his head, and he wore a way too large sweater with stripes in earth-tones accompanied with worn jeans.

"Hello!" Hanji smiled kindly and held out her hand, "I'm Hanji, Levis neighbour, and this is my friend, Eren!"

"Erwin," the blonde said gently and smiled, "And this is Erd." The other man walked over and shook hands with the brunettes, looking just as happy and smiling as Erwin. Erd had blond hair gathered in a ponytail, a few strands had broken loose and hung around his face. He had a little beard on his chin and was wearing an over-sized denim shirt, sleeves rolled loosely up to the elbows and revealed a tattoo of a blue dream-catcher on his forearm, along with white harem pants. Hanji shook Erds hand and looked very happy with her new acquaintances. Eren smiled politely and shook their hands, as Levi came back with a tray with five cups.

"Are you done sniffing around?" he shouted to the two brunettes, and handed two mugs towards them after he had put the tray down on a table.

"No, I want to see what you're doing!" Hanji yelled and moved behind Erwin to study his work.

"It's okay, Levi, they wont bother us," Erd said as he took a cup from the table and sat back in his seat.

"What are you working on?" Eren asked and took a step closer to Levi, who stretched his back after sitting down for too long.

"I'm practising drawing landscapes and backgrounds, but it's not going very well," the raven-haired sighed and took a sip of his coffee.

"Isn't it better to practise that out in the nature?" Eren asked, and immediately regretted that he had spoken up about something he really didn't know anything about.

Levi shot him a slightly annoyed look, but his expression softened as he raised the pierced eyebrow, understanding why Eren would ask him such a question. He went back to his desk and Eren followed him. Levis desk was placed at one of the large windows, and Levi leaned against the sill and looked out the window.

"Look at all these big-ass trees," he nodded towards the park behind the university. There was a good view of it from their position by the window, "This view is practically as good as being out there in person."

"If you would like to go there and draw, I wouldn't mind going with you," Eren said, before thinking. He could suddenly hear how strange it sounded, and continued, "I had considered going down there myself, actually! And the weather is almost too good to stay inside."

Levi shot him a piercing look, as if he was trying to figure out what Eren was up to. His expression softened as he began to consider the possibilities in the offer.

"If you buy me a cup of coffee, then fine. There's a Starbucks around the corner," he replied and turned to the desk to collect his belongings. He took off the apron and gloves and turned towards Eren again, "But you better not think about talking too much, I can't concentrate on working if you're gonna sit and yell out all the time, so you better keep that loud mouth of yours shut."

"Fine, I'll just study then. Sorry I offered my company." Eren said sarcastically, and turned his back to the raven-haired man.

"Are you coming, Hanji?" Levi yelled at the woman, as he was done packing and swung his leather-bag covered with studs and badges, over his shoulder.

"No, no, I'll just stay here and hang out with my new friends!" Hanji laughed and patted Erwin on the shoulder.

On his way through the door, Eren looked back at the hyperactive girl and wondered if it had really been a problem for her to walk down here alone, or whether she wanted him down here for quite different reasons.


	6. Chapter 6

Eren had tried to avoid both Levi and Hanji for the rest of the week at the university. He had actually had a good time with Levi at the park that Monday afternoon, and they had stayed there until it had gotten too dark for the raven-haired to see what he drew. They didn't really talk much, but it was nice to hang out like that. Levi spoke up when he wanted to find a new scene to draw, and demanded they'd move to another bench right away. Eren had suggested they'd sit on the grass, to which Levi had shot him a deathly glare and told him that he'd rather burn all his old gramophone records than place his ass on that filthy ground.

Levi started up short conversations from time to time, when he needed a break from the sketches. He told Eren about his love for strange instruments and old rock music, how he'd found out that he wanted to study art and paint, how he got inspired and Eren was puzzled by how many passions one man could have. He thought Levi was quite fascinating, he seemed like a person you could always learn something new about.

Even though the brunette had had a good time with Levi, he didn't want to be seen with him, and Hanji had started having lunch with Erwin and Erd, along with her other friends, including Petra and Mike. He had managed to stay out of sight, knowing she would probably pull him over if she caught a glimpse of him, but he had to admire her ability to make friends, especially when she gathered them together at lunch, introduced them to each other and suddenly had her own little harem of friends, who took up a fair amount of space in the canteen. But it made her easy to spot from a distance, which made it easier for Eren to hide.

He enjoyed hanging out with Mikasa, Jean and Armin. He actually liked them a lot, even though it was fun to hang out with people like Hanji and Levi, who always managed to place him in situations he couldn't control. But he preferred sticking to his plan; to blend in and never stand out.

 

* * *

 

"You wanna go grab a beer?" Jean asked after the last lecture. It was finally Friday again, and it was a perfect day to stay outside and chill in the sun with a couple of beers. Jean had already talked Mikasa and Armin into drinking with him, and the three of them wanted Eren to join them.

"Nah, not today," Eren said. He didn't feel like being social today, and he just wanted to spend the weekend inside, playing video-games alone. He couldn't even remember when was the last time he had time alone to just play for a whole day. A lot of his time was spend studying, and his social life had started to steal a lot of his time as well. Normally he'd mostly just hang out with Jean at a bar during the weekends, but then he had started talking a lot more to Mikasa and Armin, and now Hanji had decided that Eren was one of her friends and wanted him to go places with her, and then he met Levi and suddenly he didn't have much time for himself. But this weekend, he would just spend a few days in his apartment, butt-naked and play video-games and eat junkfood. That was the plan.

"Come on, just a few beers!" Jean said, not satisfied with the answer.

"No, I can't. I have to go back to my hometown and visit my mother," Eren lied, as he really didn't felt like having this conversation. Pretending to have a good relationship with his parents seemed better than admitting he almost never spoke to his father, and after moving away, he hadn't really talked that much to his mother either. She had called him a lot of times, but it was painful for him to be reminded of his past.

"Yeah, okay," Jean admitted defeat, and patted Erens shoulder, "But if Mikasa backs out now, just because you're not coming, I'm gonna kick your ass."

"You never give up, do you?" Eren laughed, stepping aside to let a few students pass.

"Nope, I'm just gonna work my way in slow. Someday I might get lucky!" Jean exclaimed, sounding like a hero, devoting his life to safe humankind.

"Good luck," Eren said, a hidden tone of sarcasm dwelling in his voice, as he waved goodbye to his friend and walked out of the gates to the university. He turned around the corner, just about to plug in his ear-plugs and turn on his mp3-player, when he heard someone yell out his name.

The brunette turned around and saw Levi walk towards him from the gates. Eren looked around to see if anyone he was around, and then glared through the fence towards the entrance to see if Jean was waiting for Mikasa and Armin there.

"I'm actually a little busy right now," Eren said, and scratched his neck, not comfortable with lying to Levi like that.

"Really? I'll walk with you then," Levi spoke rather unimpressed.

Eren started walking away from the university with Levi tacking along. He shifted his bag to the other side, letting it hang between the two men, hoping it would put enough distance between them to make it seem like they didn't knew each other, should someone see them. Eren kept looking around, which Levi of course noticed.

"Are you feeling all right? You're acting like you just murdered someone," Levi stated, lifting the pierced eyebrow at Erens nervous behaviour. Eren noticed he had changed it to a black ring today.

"I'm fine, just... you know," Eren answered absent-minded, making a turn down a small alley and finally starting to relax a bit as he began to feel certain that no one would see them here.

"Whatever," Levi huffed, kind of getting what was going on, "I was just gonna ask you if you wanted to do something really awesome with me tomorrow, but since you're apparently afraid of what your little friends will think if they see you with me, I'm just gonna find someone who's not a shitty little brat."

"No, wait!" Eren yelled, as Levi turned around and started heading back towards the university, "It's just, ehh... My friend, Jean, just asked me to have a beer with him, and I turned him down, saying I had plans with my mother. It's just - he would probably get suspicious if he saw me hanging out with you right now," Eren lied, kicking himself mentally for already lying way too much for one day.

"So you already have plans this weekend?" Levi asked, crossing his arms.

"I, ehh... well," Eren trailed off. He wouldn't mind hanging out with Levi actually, but he still needed a bit of time on his own.

"You know, Eren," Levi started, getting a bit tired of the brunettes nonsense, "It's okay to say you just don't want to make plans this weekend. You don't have to lie about it. No one's forcing anything on you."

"I - Arg -" Eren growled and rubbed his forehead, no longer able to handle this situation, "What did you have in mind?" he then asked, not really wanting to talk about himself any more.

"I want to go to a chocolate-making class tomorrow," Levi answered shortly.

"Say what?" It was probably the last thing Eren had expected to hear from the raven-haired man, "Why?"

"Because I want to," Levi looked at the brunette as if he was stupid, "I think that's quite obvious."

Eren sent him a puzzled look. How did he come up with ideas like that? Did he just wake up and think 'hey, today I wanna make chocolate! Tomorrow I wanna go skydiving'? The raven-haired man really just did exactly what he wanted to.

"And you want me to come too?"

"Yes."

"But - I don't know shit about chocolate," Eren said, still not decided on whether he wanted to go or not.

"That's kinda the whole idea about taking a class," Levi rolled his eyes.

Eren rubbed his neck, trying to make up his mind. He wouldn't mind spending a day in Levis company, even though he had promised himself a weekend alone on the couch. But a chocolate-making class, really? The only thing he knew about chocolate was how to devour a whole box without noticing. A part of his whole plan was not to make a fool of himself, and he had a feeling that chocolate-making was an art that needed finesse and gentle hands, and he was so much more elephant than elegant.

"Just think about it and call me later," Levi said and turned to walk away, loosing his patience with the brunette. The straight raven locks glistened in the sun as he walked away, hand buried in the pockets of his tight leather-pants.

Eren knew the answer before he even got home, but he decided to wait until evening before texting Levi. While he wanted to spend a lot of time with his new friend, he also didn't want to seem too easy. Everything about the raven-haired man was so intriguing and the brunette really wanted to get to know him; he felt so at ease every time he was around, but Levi seemed like a person who would take the whole arm if you offered him a finger.

_I'll take the class with you tomorrow. Where do you want to meet?_

There. It didn't seem too excited nor seemed like he felt pressured to go. It was neutral. Just like Eren preferred.

_I knew you would say yes. Just meet me by the university at 1 pm._

Either Levi was a bit arrogant or he could just read Eren like an open book. The brunette didn't really know which he preferred, since both could turn out to be an annoyance. He decided to punish his friend by not answering, even though Levi probably didn't care, as the brunette pulled his black t-shirt off and turned on his X-box, finally able to spend some time alone wearing nothing but his own skin.

 

* * *

 

"So where are we going?" Eren asked, while Levi started walking towards the centre of the town. The brunette had gotten there early, but Levi had still managed to be at the university first, none of them comfortable with being late and let other people wait.

"It's just a few blocks away," Levi answered, as he removed the hair from his face, and the piercing in his eyebrow shined in the sun. He sent Eren a friendly smile, obviously glad that he decided to join him. "There's a shop about ten minutes away, where they make and sell high quality chocolate. It's been there for ages - you know, some kind of family-business - and now they'd decided to do classes."

"Oh, cool," Eren said, trying to stay open-minded about the whole thing, even though he really didn't understand why any of them needed to learn how to make chocolate, "I didn't know you were so interested in chocolate?"

"I'm not, actually. I only like bitter chocolate, I'm not really into sweets," Levi huffed, and led them around a corner, "But you look like someone who loves sweets."

"Heh, is it that obvious? How can you tell?" Eren laughed a bit, closing his eyes as a chilly wind struck his hair, cooling him down a bit in the hot summer weather.

"Intuition." Levi stated matter of factly, but then he stopped and sent the brunette a piercing glare. "You know, Eren, I actually don't know anything about you. I don't even know what you study."

"Well, there's not much to know," Eren shrugged. He really preferred to keeps his cards close and not talk about himself. "I study psychology, first year."

"Is that why you're so obsessed with what people think about you?" Levi asked bluntly.

"Wha - No! I'm not obsessed!" Eren yelled, shocked by the blunt comment, "I don't... I just... I told you it was just an old habit, I just think the whole matter of judging people you don't know, is  _kinda_  interesting!"

Levi couldn't hold back a smug laugh, "Come on, brat, I'm just teasing you." He sent the brunette a smirk as Eren blushed a bit. Why did the raven-haired man always seem to make him react so honestly, when Eren just wanted to keep up his act and  _not stand out!_  It was no good, he knew Levi would mean trouble someday, but... he couldn't just stop hanging out with him. Eren shook his head, not wanting to deal with that right now. To his luck, Levi turned around a corner, and Eren was relieved to see that they had arrived at the chocolate-shop.

They went inside the small shop and was welcomed by a cheery-looking bald man, who introduced himself as Pixie Dot, and showed them to the back of the shop, where a few other people waited for the class to start. Levi grabbed aprons for both of them, and made sure to wrap a handkerchief around his hair before he pulled plastic-gloves on. Eren giggled at Levis obsession with cleanliness, and really wanted to take a picture of the otherwise punk-ish man, now wearing a yellow apron with ruffles. Levi shot him a deathly glare and ordered the brunette to pull on a hairnet or something, and wrap his nasty hands in gloves before he poisoned the entire class with his filthyness.

"You know," Eren said after they'd been introduced to the chocolate-tools and he watched as Levi tried to slowly melt the chocolate they'd been given to work with, "Being so obsessed with bacteria as you are, is often rooted in some trauma from the childhood." he continued, purposely sounding like a supercilious psychology-student, earning him an annoyed glare from Levi.

"Is that so?" he asked, trying to sound like he couldn't care less, but Erens tone along with the chocolate that just refused to melt, started to strike a nerve in him.

"Yes, early trauma often express itself in form of phobias," Eren stated matter of factly, smirking slightly at the raven-haired man, beginning to stir the chocolate faster and faster in annoyance.

"Now, boys," Pixie Dot said, leaning in between them to inspect their progress, "You have to be gentle and pay a lot of attention to the chocolate, or it will burn." He took the spoon from Levi, showing them how to do it, "You have to treat it like you're making love to a beautiful lady."

"Like I know how to  _make love to a beautiful lady,_ " Levi sneered when Pixie Dot was out of earshot. He tried to stir the chocolate gently as instructed, but had obviously trouble staying calm.

"What? You mean you've never..." Eren trailed off, taken aback by the Levis words. Not that it was wrong if he was a virgin, the brunette was just really surprised, since Levi was a pretty handsome guy, "Are you...?"

"No, I've never had sex with a woman! I'm gay, you dumb fuck!" Levi growled, just about to loose it over the chocolate. Eren took the spoon from his hand, and gently pushed the raven-haired man away. His was very short-tempered when it came to cooking, apparently.

"Take a chill-pill, you're gonna ruin the chocolate," he said lowly, handing the pierced man a glass of water and sending him a look to relax. Levi calmed down after taking a few deep breaths, and Eren continued to talk as soon as he felt the atmosphere was safe again. "You never told me you were gay."

"So?" Levi asked calmly, lifting his eyebrow at the brunette, "You never asked."

"You don't look-" Eren bit his lip, well-knowing he was about to say something really stupid. He cleared his throat and ignored Levis glare. "I'm just curious..."

"You never told me you were straight either," Levi said, looking down into the bowl where the chocolate finally had started to melt.

"That's not the... I mean..." After he had met Levi, and they had talked about judging people and putting them into boxes, Eren had realized how often he actually did it without noticing it. It was embarrassing to do it in front of Levi of all people, but the raven-haired man didn't really seem to mind. "I'm just a little surprised." the brunette said honestly. Levi sent him a gentle look.

"Don't sweat it, brat. I told you, you can go ahead and judge me if you want to. I'm not ashamed to be gay, I just don't think my sexuality is other peoples business." Levi said and poured the rest of the chocolate into the melted chocolate in the bowl and removed it from the boiling water in the pot below.

"I told you, I'm not gonna judge you!" Eren raised his voice a bit and locked eyes with the raven-haired male. "I'm sorry that I sometimes talk before I think, I normally never do that. But I wont judge you."

"Okay," Levi said, ending the conversation as he continued: "Go grab those candy-molds over there."

The atmosphere lightened up a lot, as the two men began to make filled chocolates. Pixie Dot had given up on them long ago, and just let them struggle as Levi had absolutely no patience and kept on bugging Eren for working way too slow. Eren couldn't hold back his laugh as Levi tried to show him how to take the chocolates out of the silicone-mold, and managed to break most of them in half. After threatening to rage-quit the lesson, Levi finally gave up and realized that this was a skill he'd never master, and they had fun teasing each other with how horrible they were at making chocolate.

"Well, you're never gonna make a living of that!" Levi giggled as Eren tried one last time to tap the chocolate out of the candy-mold, splattering chocolate everywhere as the substance was still fluid.

Eren sighed and threw the mold away. They started to clean up their mess and decided to leave early, while the other attendants looked relieved that the noisy guys had finally given up.

"It wasn't my idea to do this in the first place, remember?" the brunette said, sending the raven-haired man a cheerful smile while cleaning the table.

"No, but you enjoyed it, am I right?" Levi smirked, while cleaning the silicone-molds by the sink, "I never knew chocolate could be that messy." he added, mostly to himself.

"What, you actually just wanted to do this to hang out with me?" Eren teased, but his smile fainted as he saw Levis expression.

"Maybe..." Levi mumbled, removing the chocolate-smeared apron as they were done cleaning their spot. Eren did the same, and they walked out the door after saying goodbye to Pixie Dot, who thanked them for the entertainment and with a wide smile gave them a box of chocolate each.

"Seriously?" Eren asked as they walked back towards the university, "Was... was this like a d-date?"

"No." Levi said calmly, "I wanted to get to know you better, and you seem so tense when you're at the university. I see you as a friend, Eren. You are most definitely not my type."

"Okay. I'm glad we cleared that up," the brunette smiled, but as they walked in silence, he couldn't help but feel a bit disappointed.


	7. Chapter 7

"Let's have lunch in the canteen today," Jean said while throwing his laptop and notebooks into his bag, and slamming it on his desk.

"Sure," Eren answered, and looked up to Mikasa's desk, trying to signal for her to join them. "How's it going with you and Mikasa, by the way?" he asked lowly, while the girl backed her belongings.

"I don't think she hates me any more," Jean smiled awkwardly while speaking, making it quite obvious to Eren that his friends mission wasn't really going as planned. At first Eren had thought Jean just wanted to get into her pants, but it actually looked like his feelings were genuine. He really tried hard to make the raven-haired girl forget about his pathetic attempt to woo her at Hanji's get-together a couple of weeks ago, and now he tried to win her over by showing her he was actually a good guy.

"Wow, that's pathetic!" Reiner, who had heard their conversation, laughed and smacked Jean on the shoulder with a big hand, "You gotta step up your game. She's actually a pretty girl, if you ignore her expressionless face and the fact that she's a total striver."

Jean looked up at the tall blonde with an annoyed expression and grit his teeth. Eren's eyes followed Jeans and even though he didn't plan on picking a fight, he couldn't hide how much he disliked Reiner.

"That's none of your business, leave me alone!" Jean yelled with a flustered voice, pushing Reiner's hand off of his shoulder. The blonde sent him a smug smile before walking up to Mikasa and striking up a conversation with her. The two guys couldn't hear what they talked about. Mikasa looked at Reiner while he spoke, nodding from time to time and giving short answers. Reiner sent Jean another smug smirk, before handing the raven-haired girl a piece of paper and walking out of the class-room.

Eren looked back at Jean, who's face was completely red from anger and his fists clenched. Mikasa gathered the rest of her belongings and looked back up at her two friends, signalling that she was ready to leave for the canteen.

"What an asshole..." Jean finally said, turning his back to Mikasa to hide his anger from her.

"Just forget about him," Eren said, patting his friends shoulder and sending Mikasa a gentle smile, "I don't think he's her type anyway."

"I don't care! Sometimes people just fall for people who aren't their type," Jean growled frustrated, and picked up his bag. They went up to the door, where Mikasa waited for them, and they all walked towards the canteen.

"Is Armin gonna join us?" Eren asked Mikasa, while Jean still looked affected by Reiner's words.

"Yeah, he's meeting us down there," Mikasa answered, and sent Jean a puzzled look while he just looked away, refusing to let their eyes meet. None of them said another word until they met Armin by the entrance to the canteen.

Eren looked inside and saw Hanji surrounded by her many friends in the opposite end of the canteen. Without saying a word, he let his friends to a corner of the canteen, trying as always not to be seen by the brown-haired girl. Mikasa, Armin and Jean followed him through the canteen, and placed their bags by an empty table. Eren looked up at Hanji again to see if she had noticed them, but she was laughing and chatting with Petra and Mike. Eren spotted Levi next to her, and their eyes met. Levi sent him a friendly smile and lifted his hand to wave at the brunette, but Eren broke the eye-contact and sat down by the table, trying to make himself invisible. He didn't dare to look back up at the raven-haired, but he felt bad about ignoring him like that, especially after Levi had taken him to that chocolate-making class last Saturday.

Jean refused to say much during their lunch-break, and his mood set an awkward atmosphere, making the other three stay quiet most of the time as well.

After eating, they left the table and walked back towards the entrance to the canteen. Mikasa notices she had left her phone at the table, and went back to get it. Eren, Jean and Armin waited for her at the entrance, when Eren suddenly notices Levi walking towards him. The raven-haired looked down at his phone, but there was no way he couldn't have noticed Eren standing there.

Eren looked around, but there was really no way out of this without attracting too much attention. He took a step back when Levi was right in front of him, Jean and Armin not noticing anything. Eren took a deep breath and could feel a thin layer of cold sweat on his neck. But Levi looked right pass him and walked by as if the brunette wasn't there. Eren looked after him with a puzzled look.

"Eren!" a happy and loud voice yelled, making half of the canteen turn their heads, "Where have you been? I've been looking for you everywhere!"

"Sorry, I've been kinda busy lately," Eren lied as Hanji walked towards him, pushing Armin aside to talk to the brunette.

"That's not fair, you have to take time to hang out with me as well," she said with a wide smile, apparently happy that she finally found him.

Eren laughed nervously as the rest of the canteen turned their attention from him again.

"I know just how you can make it up to me," she said with a teasing tone, winking at Eren.

"O-oh?" Eren asked, a bit worried about where she was going.

"There's a festival down at the harbour this Friday," Hanji beamed, "Go with me, it'll be fun!"

"Can I bring my friends?" Eren asked nervously, and nodded towards Armin, Jean and Mikasa who had returned with her phone.

"Sure, the more the merrier!"

"Do you want to?" Eren asked, looking at his three friends.

"No, I don't feel like doing anything this weekend," Jean mumbled, apparently still in a bad mood after Reiner's act. Eren sent him an annoyed glare.

"Guys?" The brunette looked at Mikasa and Armin for support.

"Sorry, Eren, I'm going to the movies this Friday," Mikasa answered, offering him a gentle smile.

"What? With who?" Jean yelled, attracting attention again.

Mikasa looked at him with a distrustful look.

"That's none of your business!" she answered, raising her voice slightly as she didn't appreciate Jean yelling at her. Jean sent her a smouldering glance and stormed out of the canteen.

"Jean, wait!" Armin yelled and ran after him, leaving Mikasa and Eren alone with Hanji - and the attention of most of the students in the canteen. Eren began to feel even more uncomfortable and could feel another layer of cold sweat across his neck. Mikasa waited for him, but refused to look at him.

"That's okay, Eren," Hanji said in a comforting voice, patting his shoulder, "It'll just be the two of us then, it'll be nice."

"Y-yeah..." Eren stuttered, and tried to send her a smile. He just wanted to get out now, and away from all those starring eyes. "I'll catch you later, 'kay?"

He pulled Mikasa with him outside the university without saying a word. He needed fresh air, he needed to breath. He was shaking and it felt like being 6 years old again, standing in the school-yard, all eyes on him.

He dumped down in a corner, his back against the wall, and took deep breaths to calm himself. Mikasa watched him, studying every move.

"What's going on, Eren?" she asked, worried.

"I just..." Eren started, but then he bit his lip. He was not going to tell her about what happened and why he acted like this. No one knew about his past, and he had spend months on planning the perfect act before attending university. He was not going to spill it all now. He laughed nervously to cover up his act and continued: "It was just really hot in there. I thought I was gonna pass out."

Mikasa sent him a piercing look, obviously not believing him, but she didn't say anything. She dug into her bag to pull out a bottle of water, which she handed over to the brunette, who gratefully took it and gulped down the entire bottle before getting up, and they walked back into the university to attend their last lecture that day.

 

* * *

 

Eren and Hanji met outside the university Friday afternoon. Eren had tried to talk Jean into going with them to the festival, but his mood hadn't changed for the last couple of days, and he still refused. Hanji had planned for the two of them to grab a bite after their last lecture, and then take a bus to the harbour. Hanji grew up in the town and knew all the good places, and had insisted on showing Eren the best burger-bar in town. Hanji really knew what she was talking about and Eren had had the best burger in his life, and accompanied with Hanji's always great mood, he had soon forgot about the awkward situation in the canteen the other day. Jean was still angry and had refused to talk to Mikasa, who had gotten equally mad at him for acting like that. Eren had tried to talk them into making up, but it was no use and he had spent the last couple of days dealing with awkward silence and death-glares from one of them as soon as he talked to the other, and he was exhausted. But Hanji's company really made him forget about it and just enjoy that it was finally weekend again and they were about to have a great time together.

Hanji had told him about how she had started hanging around in the workshop where they had met Erwin and Erd, and how they always seemed to have a party down there. She entertained Eren with how the two blondes always laughed at her when she teased Levi, and how she one time had managed to make Levi loose his calm and accidentally spill a cup of coffee on his work, making him so furious, he had just left without his belongings. Kind as she was, she had bought him a cup of Starbucks on their way to the university the next day, but she told Eren that it was worth it to see how cute Levi looked when he got angry.

Eren was happy to hang out with the brown-haired girl again. She was so easy to get along with, she was always in a great mood and she always spoke her mind. Somewhere in the back of his mind, though, he was glad that the festival was held in the other end of the town, and even though Hanji's appearance didn't attract attention, he hoped that they wouldn't meet anyone he knew.

Down at the harbour, Eren was overwhelmed by how big the festival was. He had never been to that part of the town before, but he didn't expect the area around the harbour to be that big; colourful tents has placed everywhere, making it look like a carnival, filled with food-stands, games and booths filled with sweets, souvenirs and everything in between.

"This is huge!" Eren exclaimed as he looked around.

"It's the Summer Festival," Hanji beamed at his reaction, "It's the largest festival all year. Come on, lets get a program, I wanna see who's performing at the stage this year!"

Eren tacked along as his friend strolled through the tents to find a program. They had arrived early and there wasn't a lot of people at the harbour yet, but judging from the size of the festival, Eren thought that would change later in the night. He looked at all the bright-coloured stands, decorated with flowers and lightning-bulbs in all imaginable colours. The few people that were already there, was smiling and acting friendly as the two brunettes stormed in and out of the tents to catch a program.

As Hanji finally managed to get a hold on a brochure about what was going to happen, when and where, her eyes started shining behind her glasses as she read through the piece of paper.

"My old friend from high-school is gonna perform at 10!" she cheered, "He's in this awesome underground rock-band, and they finally managed to get a gig at the Summer Festival! We're so gonna go see them, their music is so awesome!"

"Cool," Eren said, thinking it had been way too long since the last time he was at a concert. He had a feeling it was going to be a good night.

"We have a few hours before they go on stage. Let's go grab a beer and look around," Hanji said and placed the program in her bag.

They found a beer-stall and enjoyed the cold booze in the hot summer-sun. The beer was cheep and the mood was high, so after their first beer, they brought another as they walked around between the booths. Hanji insisted on Eren trying to win something for her at a fishpond-game, but all he could manage to catch, was a small and cheep-looking keychain with an ugly teddiebear. She got surprisingly happy and attached it to her bag, naming it Eren and laughed as she stated that now she always knew where he was, even if she couldn't find him at the university again. After that, they grabbed another beer.

They made their way to a booth selling little tree-figurines, panpipes and other Native American-looking stuff. Starting to get a bit drunk, Hanji squealed by the sight of the booth and dragged Eren closer. She insisted on buying them matching flower-crowns, which made Eren laugh but not protest as he could feel the booze in his body as well. The brown-haired girl also bought a blue dream-catcher, looking suspiciously alike the one on Erd's arm, and a few bracelets.

After buying another round of beers, Hanji insisted on Eren trying his luck in another game. He told her that he wanted to pick a game himself and that she had to play too then. He settled for a shooting gallery and they emptied their bottles before approaching the tent. Eren had a little trouble focussing on the target, especially with Hanji laughing next to him every time she missed.

"Well, you're never gonna make a living of that!"

Eren turned his head to see Levi next to him, grey eyes focused on his own target in the back of the tent.

"Levi!" Eren yelled surprised, and Hanji looked over the brunette's shoulder and yelled out happily at the sight of the raven-haired man.

Levi hit the centre of the target, and tuned to send Eren a smug smirk as he received his prize.

"I'll buy you a beer, if you can do that," the raven-haired smirked, while Hanji hugged him as greeting, and turned her attention towards the brunette.

Eren tried to focus on the target once again, but couldn't manage to pull off a bullseye like Levi. Admitting defeat, Eren offered to buy the raven-haired male a beer instead.

"Are you here alone?" Hanji asked, as they walked towards the beer-stall.

"No, Erd and Erwin is here somewhere," Levi answered and looked around before waving at his two blonde friends, signalling for them to join the three of them.

"Erd!" Hanji yelled and threw her arms around the blonde, who had let his long hair hang loose today. She turned to hug Erwin as well, before looking at Erd again, "I bought something for you." she beamed and pulled out the dream-catcher.

"Nice flowers," Levi smirked at Eren while Eren paid for their booze.

"Wha - oh! Thanks!" Eren laughed, as he remembered the flower-crown on top of his head, "Hanji bought it for me."

"It suits you," Levi laughed and took a sip of his beer. Eren was glad to see that the raven-haired wasn't mad at him for his behaviour in the canteen the other day.

"Do you wanna go watch the concert with us?" Hanji asked the three men, "My old friend's band is performing in 30 minutes."

"Sure!" Erd answered before the others managed to say anything, and the five of them started walking towards the stage at the other end of the festival.

"How's your work going?" Eren asked Levi as they walked behind Hanji with a blonde in each arm, enjoying being the only girl among the four men.

"Good!" Levi answered, "I've really improved on drawing background. It was a great idea to go to that park."

Eren sent him a bright smile, feeling happy to be able to help his friend.

They arrived at the stage, where a lot of people already was gathered, ready for the concert to begin. Hanji tried to get further ahead, wanting to get in front of the stage to cheer on her old friend, but it was no use, as no one was willing to give up their spots.

Admitting defeat, she settled on a spot in the middle of the space in front of the stage, where the five of them gathered to share the rest of their beers. More people gathered as the concert started, and Hanji yelled to catch her friends attention, but she was to far away for him to see her.

Hanji was right, the band was really great. People was cheering and yelling as they performed their songs under the slowly darkening sky and stars started appearing. Erwin had gone to the beer-stall to get them a round of beers, and after 20 minutes he finally managed to find them again, handing over the bottles.

"There's like a million people here!" Erwin yelled to overshout the music.

"Just follow Hanji's screaming next time!" Levi yelled back and took his beer from Erwin's hand.

"I'm not going out there again! Go get your own beer next time!" Erwin shouted back and moved forward a bit to hand Hanji and Erd their beers.

"Fuck, I can't open it!" Eren yelled, as the bottlecap refused to move no matter what he tried.

"Here, let me!" Levi shouted and took the beer from the brunette's hand. Eren leaned in to see how Levi opened it with his keys, before handing it back to his friend.

"Cool," Eren said, and looked up again, only to realize that their friends wasn't anywhere to be seen. "Fuck, where did they go?" he yelled, making Levi look up as well. They looked around them, but couldn't spot any of the three. They tried to push their way further ahead, thinking that Hanji had managed to get them closer to the stage, but it was no use.

"Fuck this shit!" Levi yelled, and grabbed onto Eren's t-shirt to make sure they didn't get separated as well. "Hey, let's move back! If they ditch us like that, at least I wanna be closer to the beer-stall!"

The two of them enjoyed the rest of the concert from the back and managed to drink quite a few beers. Eren, who was already starting to feel drunk by the time they met Levi, Erwin and Erd, began to feel his head getting lighter and knew he would get a hangover the next day. Levi seemed to be there too, looking happy and relaxed, moving to the music.

After the concert, everybody moved back to the festival, making it impossible for Eren and Levi to spot their three friends. They grabbed onto each others arms to make sure they weren't pushed away from each other by the overwhelming amount of people suddenly passing them.

"Come on, let's find another place to wait for them," Eren said and pulled the raven-haired with him away from the masses.

Walking past the beer-stall once again, they decided to buy a few bottles of beer and go to the dock, where they would text Hanji and the others to meet them there.

The dock was rather remote from the festival, and as the lights from the booths couldn't reach it, it was only illuminated by the stars and moonlight. No one else was down there, as people wanted to enjoy the festival as much as possible before closing-time.

Eren and Levi sat down at the edge of the dock, letting their legs hang over the dark water. The brunette pulled out his cellphone to text Hanji and tell her where they were.

"I can't remember when was the last time I was at a concert," Eren sighed and took a large sip of his beer.

"Really? I do that quite often," Levi said while looking out over the ocean, "There's nothing like live rock-music."

"There's nothing like rock-music in general," Eren submitted, thinking back at his childhood, where he used to dance around in the living-room with his mother while listening to old rock-music.

"You really like rock-music?" Levi asked, sending the brunette a bright smile, "You look more like a pop-guy."

"Yeah, it's the flower-crown," Eren said sarcastically, "I always get mistaken for a pop-guy while wearing it. Look-" he removed the flower-crown from his head and placed it on Levis soft black locks, "- now you look like a pop-guy as well!"

Levi laughed loudly, obviously drunk, but Eren thought he had a cute laugh and it suited him to laugh uncontrollably. As the raven-haired emptied his beer, his hair fell back a bit and revealed his pierced ear. Eren noticed he was sitting at the other side of Levi from where he sat that afternoon at the raven-haired's room, and remembered how he had started counting his piercings. Counting the piercings in his ear, Eren added seven to the twelve piercings in his other ear and the one in his eyebrow.

They heard a loud bang and looked up, where fireworks lit up on the dark sky. Levi looked at the colourful lights' reflection in the water as the fireworks kept painting the night in beautiful colours. Eren turned his attention towards Levi again, who studied the fireworks.

"You're counting my piercings again, aren't you?" Levi asked and turned his head towards Eren.

"Kinda..." Eren said, too drunk to come up with a lie.

"So how many have you counted so far?"

Eren spend a moment adding the numbers and answered: "Twenty."

"You're missing one then," Levi smirked and opened another beer with his keys. Looking back at Eren's puzzled face, the brunette obviously counting his piercings over and over again, Levi smiled and stuck out his tongue to reveal a shining gold-piercing. Eren looked at the shining metal for a moment before Levi hid it in his mouth again.

"Nope," he giggled, "You never showed me that one."

"Well, I don't have it for show," Levi smirked teasingly, his grey eyes shining in the moon-light. As Eren looked at Levi, he suddenly noticed how handsome the raven-haired man actually was. Eren wasn't stupid, he could see that Levi was handsome from the moment they met, but it was different now. The way his eyes shined in the moon-light and his black locks reflected the light from the festival behind them.

Eren looked at the thin lips, where the tongue-piercing was hidden and noticed how pretty Levi's lips actually were. As Eren kept looking from Levis eyes to his lips and back again, the raven-haired man's smirk slowly faded and was replaced with a piercing but gentle look. He looked at the drunken green eyes as they kept staring at his lips.

Eren moved a bit closer subconsciously, and slowly leaned in, making the gab between them smaller. He didn't really know why, but he just had to know if Levi's lips were as soft as they looked. Looking up at Levi's grey orbs again, he locked eyes with the raven-haired, who didn't move a single inch.

"I found you!" Hanji beamed, just before Eren's lips touched those attractive soft-looking lips, and both of them jerked back by the sudden loud noise from their friend. "Erd! Erwin! I found them!"

Eren and Levi got on their feet, both blushing slightly by the thought of what Hanji had almost been witness to. It seemed like she was too drunk to have noticed anything though.

"You two shorties are just way to hard to find in a place like this!" Hanji laughed and took Levi's beer from his hand, taking a large sip.

As it dawned on Eren what had almost happened, he decided to follow her example and emptied his almost full beer. Not wanting to be able to remember what had just happened, he opened up another beer, and while the five of them walked back towards the festival, he drank till he was absolutely sure he wouldn't be able to remember anything in the morning, even if it meant he would be hangover until Monday.


	8. Chapter 8

Monday, back at the university, Eren was still tired from spending the weekend on treating his heavy hangover. He couldn't remember when was the last time he had had such a bad hangover, and it made him feel a bit old. He couldn't remember much from Friday night; he had been at the festival with Hanji, and they'd run into Levi, Erwin and Erd. Eren could faintly remember something about a concert, but that was about it. He had no idea how much he had drunk or how he had gotten home.

He had happily forgotten about Mikasa's and Jean's fight too, but was reminded as soon as he walked into the class-room with Jean, and the brunette greeted the raven-haired girl. She had focused intensely on Eren while saying 'Good morning,  _Eren,_ ' and refused to spare Jean a single look. Jean had walked right pass her and settled by a desk as far away from her as possible, waiting for Eren to join him. The brunette sighed frustrated; it was way too early in the morning to deal with this.

At lunch, Eren decided to try to make his two friends talk to each other again. He didn't understand how things had gotten like this in the first place, but it really had to stop.

"I'm gonna ask Mikasa if she wants to have lunch with us," Eren said while packing his belongings, sending Jean a determined look.

"No," Jean said coldly, "I don't wanna talk to her."

"You don't have to talk, but let's just eat lunch together. Maybe she has something to say to you."

"I don't think so," Reiner said, from behind them, sending the guys his usual smug smile.

"What's your fucking problem?" Jean yelled at him, apparently having enough of Reiner's interferences.

"I'm having lunch with Mikasa - that's the least she can do after I took her to the movies Friday," the blonde said and send them another smug look while walking past them and approaching the raven-haired girl at the front-row. Jean's face was red from anger as he watched the blonde talk to Mikasa, and then he grabbed his bag and stomped out off the room with Eren behind him.

On their way to meet Armin at the canteen, Eren suddenly saw Levi walking in the opposite direction. Knowing they would pass each other, Eren decided to send Levi a smile as he came closer. He still didn't want to be seen with the raven-haired male, but they were friends after all. He could send him a smile without anyone noticing, right? As Levi came closer, Eren looked at him, but Levi kept his eyes ahead, walking right pass the brunette, completely ignoring him. Eren stopped for a second and looked after his raven-haired friend, puzzled. Didn't he see him?

Eren caught up to Jean, just as Armin joined them by the entrance to the canteen.

"Where's Mikasa?" Armin asked, and looked behind them. Eren tried to warn the blonde and signal to him that it was a bad subject to take up, but Jean just growled at Armin that he was free to have lunch with her and her new boyfriend if he wished to do so. Armin sent Eren a confused look as Jean walked pass him and settled by a table in the corner of the canteen.

"They still haven't talked to each other?" Armin whispered to Eren as the two of them followed Jean.

"No, they're horrible. Mikasa ignores him and Jean flips over every time Reiner teases him," Eren whispered back.

"Then I have something you might want to hear," Armin said as they sat down by the table. Having an idea about what it was about, Jean looked in the opposite direction, not wanting to have anything to do with the raven-haired girl. "I think you might want to hear this, Jean."

"If it's about  _her,_  then I don't give a flying fuck!" he exclaimed, crossing his arms in protest.

Armin sent Eren a resigned look. Not giving up on his friends making up, Eren sent the blonde a smirk, and spoke as loud as he could manage without attracting unnecessary attention: "I would like to hear it, Armin!"

Jean snorted as Armin started telling Eren about what he knew.

"She was going to the movies with Reiner last Friday, but she called half an hour after they were to meet. Apparently, he stood her up! Of course I told her to get out of there and that she was too good for him, but she said she had to go on a date with him, for some reason. She asked me if she could come to my place, but then he arrived while we spoke and she had to hang up," Armin told, earning him a confused look from Eren. Jean had tried to remain careless about the raven-haired girl, but as Armin finished the story, Jean was looking at him, just as confused as Eren.

"That doesn't make any sense at all!" Eren said after letting the blondes words settle in his mind.

"I know, right? I called her on Saturday to ask what was going on, but she refused to talk to me about it," Armin sighed frustrated.

"That's so fucking stupid, he's not nearly good enough for her," Jean spoke with a frustrated tone. He didn't look as angry as before, but confusion was painted all over his face, and the bare fact that Mikasa had went on a date with Reiner seemed to break the man's heart.

Armin looked at Jean with guilt in his eyes, feeling bad about making his friend feel like that. It wasn't his intention to hurt Jean, he had actually hoped the fact that Reiner treated Mikasa like that would give Jean motivation to talk to her and convince her to dump the blonde. Jean buried his face in his hands and made a defeated sound.

"It doesn't add up, Mikasa would never date a guy who treats her like that," Eren said, looking at the other end of the canteen, where Mikasa was having lunch with Reiner and his friend, Berthold. Mikasa didn't seem like she was enjoying the company, and she ate in silence, looking at her phone. "Cheer up, Jean, I'll try talking to her."

"Don't bother..." Jean said, his face still hidden behind his hands.

"She's my friend too, I want to know what's going on. And if she approaches you, you better not ignore her." Eren said, planning when he would be able to talk to Mikasa without any disturbance. Jean didn't answer and he didn't speak another word the rest of the day.

 

* * *

 

Eren continued acting normal towards Mikasa, who kept on greeting the brunette every morning and ignoring Jean, who treated her the same way. The following days, Eren asked Mikasa to have lunch with him alone, but every time she said she was going to have lunch with Reiner and Berthold, and Eren didn't really want to waste his time in the company of the blonde who kept on teasing him and Jean every time he had the chance.

Armin and Eren had decided not to bring up the subject when Jean was around, so Eren just watched in silence as the raven-haired girl spend her breaks with Reiner, hoping to have a chance to talk to her soon.

On Thursday, he approached her again, asking her to have lunch with him.

"Come on, Mikasa, you can have lunch with me just today," he pleaded, getting tired of the drama he was placed in the middle of.

"I'm sorry, Eren, I made a promise to have lunch with Reiner," she said sheepishly, and looked down at the bag in her hands as she gathered her belongings.

"What about tomorr-" Eren started, but was cut off by a familiar voice, coming from the open door to the hallway.

"Hey, you!" Levi stood in the doorframe, looking at Mikasa who was standing next to the door. Eren looked at the raven-haired in shock, but he never took his eyes from Mikasa, who had turned around to see who was talking to her. "I'm looking for Hanji - do you know where the science-class is?"

"Third door on the left," Mikasa answered and pointed in the direction of the science-department.

"Great, thanks," Levi said, and disappeared from the door without sparing Eren a single look. Eren looked at the empty doorframe with a puzzled look as other students passed their class-room on their way to the canteen.

"Hey, wasn't that the guy you were talking to at Hanji's get-together?" Mikasa asked, studying Eren's puzzled expression.

"So you  _do_  know that punk?" Reiner, who had snuck up on them, laughed.

"I've talked to him once," Eren lied, sending Reiner an annoyed look, "I don't even know his name. So no, I don't know him." How did that huge guy manage to sneak up on the brunette all the time? He was really starting to strike a nerve in Eren, with his smug expression and stupid comments.

Mikasa looked from Reiner to Eren and back again with a piercing look, but her face remained expressionless.

"Whatever, Eren," Reiner smirked, "Are you ready to go,  _babe_?" he continued, loud enough for Jean to hear him in the other end of the room, and wrapped his arm around Mikasa's shoulder. Eren looked at her as an expression of discomfort crossed her face and she succumbed to him.

"Tomorrow, then!" he said to her, as he walked back to Jean to get his bag, "I wont take no for an answer!"

As he went back to Jean, who was obviously affected by Reiner calling Mikasa babe, Eren thought about Levi's odd behaviour. It was impossible to think that the pierced guy hadn't noticed Eren standing right next to Mikasa, so why had he ignored him like that? Remembering how Levi had ignored him Monday in the hallway as well, Eren started to wonder if something had happened. He had run into Levi a couple of times in the hallway during the week, but he had just thought Levi hadn't noticed him. But talking to Mikasa standing right next to him, without noticing him, just seemed to unlikely.

As he walked to the canteen with Jean in silence, the brunette thought about if something had happened to the raven-haired. He couldn't remember much from the festival, but they hadn't gotten into a fight, had they?

As they joined Armin at a table in the canteen, Eren pulled out his phone and sent a text to Levi.

_Are you okay? I can hardly remember anything from last Friday, did something happen?_

Levi didn't text him back. In fact, Eren didn't see or heard from the raven-haired man until Friday afternoon. Reiner had insisted on Mikasa having lunch with him, and Mikasa had apologized to Eren, promising him that they could go out for a drink after the last lecture on Friday to make it up to him. Thinking it was probably best to talk outside the university, Eren had agreed.

They had found a bar near the university to grab a beer together and finally talk. They sat in silence, while Eren thought about how to bring up the subject. He didn't want to upset the raven-haired girl and he didn't want it to sound as if he was just asking for Jean either.

"I know what you want, Eren," Mikasa finally said, leaning over the table and locking eyes with the brunette, "You want to know why I'm dating Reiner."

"The thought crossed my mind," Eren said, taking a large sip of his beer.

"I know you don't like him, but he's not that bad," she said and looked down, not convincing Eren at all.

"Really?" Eren asked, purposely letting a tone of disbelief linger in his voice, "I heard he stood you up on your first date."

"No, he... He was just a little late," the raven-haired girl answered, trying to protect the blonde.

"Thirty minutes?" Eren asked with a calm expression, trying to pressure her into talking.

"He said he forgot about our date, but he showed up as soon as he remembered," Mikasa said sheepishly, still looking down.

"Why are you dating him, Mikasa? He's such an asshole!"

"He's not that bad! He's just a little cocky and he likes to tease people," she spoke, looking back up at Eren to convince him she knew what she was doing.

"Come on, you don't need a cocky guy. You're way too good for someone like him," Eren insisted.

"I can stand up for myself, Eren!" she said, raising her voice and sending him a cold glance, "Reiner might not seem like my type of guy, but I can decide for myself who I want to date!"

"Sorry, sorry," Eren said, not wanting to make her angry. He could sense that she didn't want to discuss the topic. "Why don't you wanna talk to Jean?"

"He's ignoring me too, you know," Mikasa growled, still not calmed down, "He actually started it."

"He's a guy, he doesn't know what to say to you. Besides, Reiner keeps on teasing him about you and him dating, I can understand where he's coming from," Eren tried to explain, but he wasn't really sure how to get his point across without revealing that Jean still liked her.

"It's not my problem if he's too proud to apologize. He started it!" she insisted, obviously still upset, "I don't need him, he wasn't that much of a friend anyway."

"That's not fair, Mikasa," Eren tried, not really liking where this was going, "I know he was just trying to get into your pants at first, but he really wants to be your friend now. He's a good guy!"

"Well, if he really wants us to be friends that bad, he would talk to me and apologize for being such a jerk!" Mikasa yelled, not able to control her temper any more, "If that's all you wanted to talk about, then we're done talking. I'm leaving."

Eren tried to stop her, but she sent him a deathly glare and left without saying another word. The brunette sunk back down in his seat, sighing. Why did he even bother to deal with this? Both Mikasa and Jean were grown-ups, they were old enough to deal with their problems. Somewhere deep down he knew it was because they had managed to get under his skin. Maybe their friendship started as a cover up for the brunette on his quest for not standing out, but he actually really liked them now. They were his friends, and the best he had had in many years. He missed having lunch together, all four of them, and he didn't really want to give up on any of them.

As he emptied his beer, his phone started ringing. He looked at the display, where Levi's name lit up on the screen.

"Hello?" Eren asked as he picked up.

"Eren!" a blurry voice yelled from the other end, "You've got to come and save me!"

"Are you drunk?" Eren asked, noticing the uncharacteristic laziness in the otherwise calm voice.

"No, well, maybe a little," Levi answered a moment of silence, "But it doesn't matter! You have to come and keep me company. Hanji and Erd are so lovey-dovey, I think I'm gonna throw up!"

"Are they dating now?" Eren asked surprised.

"No, they are not dating, they are fucking eating each other!" Levi yelled, and Eren could hear Hanji's laugh in the background, "Seriously, Eren, get your ass down to The Dancing Titan. I'll buy you a beer if you come."

"Where is it?" Eren asked, already getting up and ready to leave.

"Somewhere near the mall. It's an old pub, right next to a second-hand shop. Please, hurry, I think I'm gonna get an eating-disorder from watching those two!"

"Yeah, I know the area, I live nearby. I'm on my way," Eren said and got out, heading for the bus-stop. Levi hung up, and Eren reminded himself to ask Levi why he had ignored him, when he got the chance.

It didn't take him long to find the bar, as it was pretty close to his apartment. He walked through the door to The Dancing Titan, and was immediately greeted by the bartender, a brown-haired girl with freckles and a very calm expression, who bid him welcome and asked him what he would like to drink. Before he could manage to answer, a loud yell came from the other end of the small bar.

"Eren!" Hanji yelled, and got up to greet her friend, "How nice of you to join us! Ymir, I'm buying this round, we'll have the usual!" she said and hugged the brunette before leading him back to their table, where Levi and Erd waited.

"What took you so long? I almost died from disgust!" Levi complained and moved over to make space for Eren next to him.

"Excuse me for not being Flash Gordon," Eren said sarcastically, and sent Erd a smile, as Hanji sat down next to the blonde and placed a soft kiss on his cheek, "I was still back near the university, when you called."

Ymir approached their table with a tray. "There you go, guys; four beers and four Jäeger-shots."

"Thank you, sweety," Hanji said and paid for the drinks, before wrapping her arms around Erd again and returning her attention to Eren.

They all took their shots and Eren had to take a sip of his beer to wash down the bitter taste.

"What were you doing back at the university?" Hanji asked and giggled as Erd pulled er closer and nuzzled his nose against her neck. Eren could understand why Levi didn't want to be alone with them.

"I was having a beer with my friend," Eren answered, sighing as he remembered his conversation with Mikasa.

"Who?" Levi asked, sending the brunette a piercing glare after his deep sigh.

"Mikasa," Eren answered, and considered pointing out that it was the girl the raven-haired had asked for direction to Hanji's class-room, but decided not to mention it now.

"Why didn't you bring her? I haven't really talked to her since the get-together at my place," Hanji complained, taking a sip of her beer and offering Erd a sip even though he had his own.

"She left just before Levi called me. We kinda got into a fight," Eren said, still not knowing what to do with the drama he had gotten himself into.

"About what?" Hanji asked bluntly, curious as always. Eren was taken aback by her way of always speaking her mind and not minding sticking her nose into other peoples business.

"Mikasa started dating this asshole named Reiner from out class, and Jean is mad at her because he's still got a crush on her and Reiner pisses him off. They have ignored each other for a week now, and I tried to talk Mikasa into trying to talk to Jean but she god really mad at me," Eren sighed again, and took a sip of his beer. Erd and Levi looked at him, not really knowing what to say, but Hanji leaned in closer, ready to discuss the topic further.

"Yeah, I heard about it from Armin," she said, apparently excited by the gossip. When Eren sent her a puzzled look, she continued, "He was studying in the library the other day, and we talked about it there."

Eren could only imagine how many people Hanji had managed to annoy at the library this time, but pushed the thought away as she spoke; "He told me that guy stood her up on their first date. What is she doing with such an asshole?"

"That's what I asked her about!" Eren yelled, thankful that he wasn't the only one who thought Mikasa deserved better, "She told me he forgot about their date, but came as soon as he remembered. She waited for over thirty minutes. But she keeps on saying he's not such a bad guy."

"Well, he's not a good guy either!" Hanji exclaimed, and looked at Erd who just agreed with her without really knowing who they were talking about, "And I wouldn't take her for someone who liked that type of guys."

"No, but, you know..." Eren started, remembering what Jean said a week ago, "Sometimes people just fall for people who aren't their type." They were all silent for a moment and Eren looked around at the three of them, all with thoughtful expressions on their faces. His eyes met Levi's grey orbs. The raven-haired studied the bright green eyes, obviously lost in his thoughts. Then he looked down, sighing deeply and rubbing his forehead.

"You know..." Hanji started, drawing Eren's attention from Levi, "As a woman, knowing women, I say there's something fishy about Mikasa's behaviour. Getting upset at Jean like that, refusing to talk to him, and dating someone he obviously hate - I think she's trying to make him jealous."

"Say what?" Eren asked, not following her at all. The two other guys pointed their attention at her as well, looking just as lost as Eren. "Why?"

"Jean tried to woo her at my get-together, didn't he? She wasn't interested at all, but after that he just wanted to be friends with her, and maybe she regrets rejecting him now," Hanji smirked, obviously loving her position of knowing everything about everyone. When the three guys still looked confused, she continued; "It's a girl thing!"

"But Jean still likes her. He just wanted to show her that he's a good guy and a good friend," Eren said, still not understanding anything.

"But she doesn't know that! And instead of telling him that she actually likes him too, she tries to make him jealous to see if he's still interested," Hanji explained, looking at her friends to see if they finally got it.

The three men sent each other implied looks, before Erd finally said what they all were thinking; "Women!" Levi and Eren agreed and laughed, as Hanji hit the blonde on the shoulder for his comment.

"I'm so glad I don't have to deal with that," Levi exclaimed and took a large sip of his beer. Eren looked at him, thinking that the raven-haired male's behaviour towards him this week was a bit alike a woman's, but de kept his mouth shut, not wanting to ruin the mood.

Hanji called Ymir over, reminding Levi that he had promised Eren a beer and insisted on him buying the next round. Levi gave in and bought another round of beer, and the mood was high for the rest of the evening.

By the time Ymir closed down the bar, all four of them were drunk as fuck. Hanji was going to stay over at Erd's place, as he lived nearby and they took off hand in hand, giggling and waving at Levi and Eren. Levi complained about having to go back at the dorm alone, and as Eren knew it was pretty far, he offered Levi to sleep at his couch.

Drunk as they both were, they dangled down the street, Eren trying to remember the shortest way to his apartment and Levi complaining about the chilly summer-night and how hard it was to walk straight being drunk.

Eren supported Levi's drunken body, while getting his keys out of his pocket and unlocked the door. They tumbled through the door, none of them able to stand properly. How the two of them had managed to lean on each other all the way up to the second floor without falling, was a mystery none of them were able to figure out in their drunkenness. Levi had gotten a bit of energy by them constantly laughing on their way up the stairs to his apartment, and he let go of Levi as the raven-haired took a look at his apartment.

"How can you live here? This place is so dirty!" Levi yelled from the living-room.

Eren answered with a muffled sound, trying to focus on taking off his shoes. Levi walked back and forth in the small apartment, commenting everything he laid his eyes on. Eren stumbled after Levi, trying to make him calm down and go to bed.

"Come on, Levi, I want to sleep!" he cried out tired, finally managing to get the raven-haired to settle down on the couch. Eren went to his bedroom to find a pillow and a spare duvet, which he tossed to Levi and walked back to his bedroom after yawning a muffled 'good night' to his friend. While pulling off his clothes, he could hear Levi tossing and turning on the couch, before finally starting to grunt and mumble in his sleep. Eren fell asleep as well, as soon as his head hit the pillow.

Eren woke up in the middle of the night, and sat up in his bed. His hangover was killing him, and he was hungry, thirsty, tired and every other feeling hangover could provoke. He got up and pulled on a pair of sweat-pants, while once again promising himself never to drink again. He left for the kitchen and made sure not to wake up Levi when he walked past the living-room.

As he reached the kitchen, the door was ajar, and the light was turned on. The brunette slowly pushed the door open without making a sound, and his eyes fell on Levi's back, leaning his hands against the counter with a glass of water in front of him, only wearing his ripped jeans. Eren stood in the doorway and looked at how the lines on Levi's slender body was highlighted by the bit of moonlight coming in through the blinds. The light danced over his forearms and muscular back, giving Eren a full view of his tattoos. His ripped jeans were a little too long for him, and Eren noticed how crooked and bony his toes were as they moved like little worms under the edge of the jeans. His soles were pink and soft-looking as if there had never been a hint of a blister or callus on them. His black locks looked soft and reflected the light as the pierced man moved his head a bit to stretch his neck, showing off the short hair of his undercut. Eren's eyes followed the lines of Levi's body, and let them rest where his pants hung halfway down his hips, but despite of them being a little too big for him, it was obvious he had a really nice and firm -

"Eren!" Levi said as he finally noticed the brunette standing by the door. Eren could feel his cheeks heat up, and hoped it wasn't possible to see in the dim room. "Did I wake you up?"

"No," Eren gulped, "No, not at all. I was just gonna get me a glass of water."

"That's good," Levi said in a soft voice, "I just couldn't sleep any more, so I went to your kitchen to make sure I didn't wake you."

"That's okay, I... " Eren trailed off, not knowing what to say. How long had he been standing in the door? What was he even doing there? Levi sensed that Eren seemed a bit flustered.

"Were you looking at me?" he asked, with a slightly flirty tone.

"What?"

"Were you admiring me?"

"No, I ... "

"Did you like what you saw?"

Eren had taken a few steps closer to Levi without realizing it until he was standing right in front of him.

"Levi, I..." he trailed off again, his head shutting down. Levi sent Eren the same piercing but gentle look as the night at the dock, the teasing expression in his eyes disappearing. Levi studied Eren's eyes as the wandered over his body, trying to figure out if he was still drunk. He had seen how Eren had looked at him from the doorway, but since the brunette was straight, Levi wasn't sure what was going on. Eren's perfume tickled his nose and along with the alcohol still brushing in his head, he couldn't keep his mouth shut.

"You like what you see?" he whispered.

Eren couldn't answer, his head just wasn't able to form a sentence that made any sense. He studied Levi again, letting his gaze slide down over his naked torso, the inviting neck, his over-pierced ears, the soft hair that fell wildly around his face, and the steel-grey eyes.

Levi studied Eren's green eyes, as they wandered over his body. He felt the urge to look at Eren's half-naked body as well, but right now he was completely satisfied by watching the green orbs as they looked at him.

"Do you wanna touch?" Levi's voice was barely audible, as he gently touched Eren's hand, letting his fingers slip into the gab between the brunettes long fingers and carefully placing Eren's hand on his hip

Eren could feel the warm and soft skin against his palm, making him a bit startled. Levi noticed and let go of the hand immediately. He kept his eyes on Eren, trying to figure out if he had gone too far. But Eren kept his hand on Levi's hip and began using his thumb to caress the soft skin. He didn't really know what he was doing or why, or whether it was a good idea or not, but he didn't want to stop. Levi's skin was so incredibly soft and warm and he wanted to touch more.

The brunette finally looked at Levis grey eyes, and the raven-haired began to feel relaxed about Eren being sober enough to know what he was doing. His eyes softened as he locked eyes with the brunette. Eren could faintly remember being this close to Levi's face once before, and his eyes slid down to the raven-haired male's lips. The brunette thought about how soft they still looked, and once again he felt the need to confirm if they were as soft as they looked.

"Do you want to kiss me?" Levi's purred softly, not recognizing his own voice.

As if he had spoken the magic words, Eren leaned in and closed the gab between them.


	9. Chapter 9

Levi's lips were just as soft as they looked. Eren took a deep breath through his nose as he softly pressed his lips against the other man's. The soft lips worked against his own, and he took a step closer to Levi and wrapped his other arm around the pierced man's waist, deepening the kiss.

Levi pulled Eren even closer and let his tongue brush over the brunette's lower lip, wanting to deepen the kiss even further. Eren parted his lips and let his tongue meet Levi's somewhere between their mouths. The wet muscles danced slowly against each other, trying to find a pace they were both comfortable with, and both of them still unsure about how to treat the other.

Levi let his hand wander to Eren's nape and further up to his straight brown locks, where he teasingly tugged on the soft hair. Eren growled lowly against the kiss and wrapped his arms tighter around the raven-haired before taking a firm grip on his ass and lifting him onto the counter. He positioned himself between the pierced man's legs, and Levi pulled him closer, making their naked chests grind against each other.

The raven-haired deepened the kiss even further, letting his tongue wrestle harder against Eren's and letting the brunette have a taste of his tongue-piercing. Eren had forgotten all about the raven-haired's hidden piercing, but the sensation of the hard metal moving between their tongues only made him lean in closer and cock his head while nuzzling the short hair of Levi's undercut.

Eren saw his opportunity to explore the body he had just admired from distance, with his hand, and he let his fingertips wander all over the naked back, feeling little unevenness' around the tattoos. His skin was so incredibly soft and he could feel the muscles move under the skin, as Levi moved his arms and let his own fingers move over the brunette's body. The raven-haired man hadn't taken a proper look at Eren's half-naked body while he had the chance, and decided to discover every little detail by touch. He let his palms brush over the toned skin of Eren's chest and back, before letting his fingertips ghost over the neck and shoulder.

The brunette shivered under the gentle and curious touch and bit down gently on Levi's lower lip, earning him a sharp sigh from the other male. He let the tip of his tongue dance over Eren's upper lip to ask for release, and Eren attacked his mouth again, hungry for more. Levi jerked back, suddenly in the mood for teasing the brunette. He held onto the soft brown lock with both hands to make sure Eren couldn't move forward and kiss him properly, as he locked eyes with him. He let his lips and tongue ghost over the brunette's slightly parted lips, but moved back a little every time Eren tried to close the gab between them.

"You dirty tease," Eren whispered with a low voice, as Levi's steel-grey eyes glimpsed in the moon-light, sending his friend a cocky smirk.

Having enough of being teased, Eren grabbed a fist-full of black hair and pulled Levi's face closer, smashing their lips together again. Levi smirked against the kiss, as Eren invaded his mouth, eager to catch up on what had been stolen from him, while Levi teased him. The metal in the raven-haired's tongue-piercing had gotten cold from being out in open air, while he had been teasing the brunette, and Eren leaned in closer to feel the cold metal brush over his wet muscle in the hot kiss.

Leaning in a little too far, Eren had to rest his hand on the counter for support and accidentally hit the glass, Levi had been drinking from just before the brunette entered the kitchen. The glass tipped over and splashed water all over the counter. Levi froze as his pants got soaked, and jumped from his sitting position to the floor, pushing Eren away.

"Holy fuck, that's cold!" he yelled, trying to pull the wet fabric away from his skin.

"Fuck, I'm sorry," Eren giggled, not able to hold back a laugh as his friend jumped around the kitchen.

"Way to ruin the moment, brat!" Levi yelled, but couldn't keep a smile from his lips as Eren bend over from laughing.

"No, I'm sorry," Eren said between his laughs, and took Levi's hand, "I really am. Let me help you, I'll get you some dry clothes."

Levi followed the brunette to his bedroom, where he received a pair of clean boxers, and Eren took the ripped jeans and hung them over a chair to dry. Looking back at Levi who had changed to Eren's boxers, Eren felt the need to pick up where they left, but Levi sent him a worried look and scratched his neck awkwardly.

"I should probably get back on the couch," he said calmly, avoiding Eren's eyes, "I'm still a bit drunk and I think I'll be able to sleep again now."

"I think..." Eren trailed off as the awkwardness caught up on him as well, but he decided to continue anyway, "That, maybe, you could sleep inhere with... me?"

"Are you sure?" Levi asked, finally locking eyes with the brunette again. Eren nodded and blushed a bit. He was still drunk as well, still hungover, still tired and still not sure what was going on, but he really wanted Levi to sleep next to him. Levi went to the living-room to grab the pillow and spare duvet, and threw it on Eren's bed, before settling under the blankets next to Eren. Eren leaned in and placed a soft kiss on Levi's lips, and the raven-haired pulled him a bit closer and wrapped his arm around the brunette's slender figure.

 

* * *

 

The next morning Eren woke up and felt Levi's arm still wrapped around him. Still hungover, he opened his eyes and looked at the still sleeping pierced man. He looked so relaxed and peaceful when he slept, and as the adventures from last night came back to the brunette, he smiled and cuddled up closer to his friend. He placed a gentle kiss on Levi's soft lips, and the latter started moving by the caress, slowly starting to wake up. He looked at Eren with a sleepy look in his eyes, and after a moment he kissed him back.

"Morning," the raven-haired growled and rubbed his face, obviously just as hungover as Eren, "Excuse me, I have to go take a piss." he continued and got up. Eren smiled at the pierced man as he left the bedroom, before getting up to make some coffee.

Levi joined him in the kitchen and helped him prepare breakfast, none of them saying a single word. Eren placed the coffee and food on a tray and brought it back to the bedroom, insisting on them eating in bed as he really wasn't ready to start the day yet.

Levi sat down at the edge of the bed and took a sip of his coffee, before looking at Eren and finally speaking up.

"Are you really okay with this?" he asked, his voice slightly nervous. Eren didn't know how to respond. His head still wasn't working properly, but he had no regrets about what had happened between them. He answered with the only words he could come up with right now.

"I... think I really like you," he said and blushed slightly.

"I like you too," Levi said with a smile, the nervous had disappeared from his voice.

"I thought I wasn't your type?" Eren asked teasingly, remembering what the raven-haired had told him after they left the chocolate-store a couple of weeks ago.

"And I thought you were straight!" Levi teased back, looking down at his body as if to see if he had grown boobs overnight, "I guess it's just like you said yesterday; sometimes people just fall for people who aren't their type."

Levi moved back up in the bed and rested his back against the wall, as a serious expression grew on his face. Eren moved a bit closer to kiss the raven-haired male and feed him a piece of toast. Levi sent him a death-glare by the cheesy action, but took a bite of the toast nonetheless.

"Can I ask you something?" Eren asked, and leaned his head against Levi's chest, looking up at the grey orbs, "Why did you ignore me at the university earlier this week?"

"Yeah, that..." Levi mumbled and looked away for a moment, before sighing and looking back down at the brunette, "When I met you I really just wanted us to be friends, but after last weekend at the festival, I kinda realized that... I might have a crush on you," He blushed slightly and looked away again. Eren's heart started beating a little faster by the adorable sight and the sweet words. "I just didn't want to ruin our friendship, so I thought that if we didn't see each other for some time, my feelings would go back to just wanting to be friends with you. But then I got drunk and nauseous from watching Hanji and Erd, and I just had to call you."

"That's kinda cute," Eren smirked, enjoying to see the otherwise calm and collected Levi blush like that. The raven-haired's words made him incredibly happy, though.

"Shut up," Levi mumbled and took another sip of his coffee, "What about you? Why are you going all gay suddenly?"

"I don't know, I've never really thought about my sexuality before now. I'm just so goddamn attracted to you," Eren answered, now blushing a bit himself. Levi sent him a smug smirk, feeling comfortable about being on top again.

"Yeah, well.. I am pretty handsome!" Levi said with a cocky voice and stuck out his tongue teasingly, flashing his piercing. Eren jerked his head up, catching the wet, pierced muscle with his own and pulled Levi down into a hungry kiss. The raven-haired smirked against the playful game between them, taking Eren's reaction as a confirmation to his statement. He moved over and pierced the brunette to the bed, hovering over him while deepening the kiss. Eren grunted lowly and wrapped his arms around the tattooed body.

"I'm sorry, but I have to get back soon-" Levi said as he pulled away, only to be pulled back into the kiss by the brunette, stroking the soft skin on Levi's back and letting his finger brush through the black hair.

"Eren, I have work to do! I need to work on my sketches-" he tried again, but Eren pulled him back down again, not willing to let his flirt go just like that. He hand longed after those soft lips longer that he had thought, and now that he had the chance, he really wanted to enjoy Levi as much as possible.

"God damn it, brat! You're making it extremely hard for me to leave!" Levi yelled as he finally managed to talk himself into getting out of Eren's grip and out of the bed.

Eren sent him a disappointed look and pulled off the best puppy-eyes he could manage. Placing his hand on his waist, Levi cocked his hip and returned Eren's look with an annoyed expression, but still not able to just walk out of there. He really wanted to spend more time with the brunette, especially now that he knew his feelings towards the other man, was returned. And Eren lying there in his bed with puppy-eyes, only wearing boxers, hungover and a very easy prey, was almost too tempting.

"Do you want to come with me?" he finally asked. He hoped he could finish off his work fast and spend the rest of the weekend with the brunette.

Eren jumped out of the bed before even answering, sending the raven-haired man a bright smile. He couldn't explain why he liked hanging out with Levi so much, but he was just the best company the brunette had ever had. He was never afraid that Levi would judge him and even though he could be pretty snappy sometimes, he was very kind and open-minded, and to be honest, Eren had subconsciously always felt like the snappy comebacks between them had been some sort of flirt, even before any of them had realized that there might be more that friendship between them. He didn't really want to think about it that much, he just wanted to spend his time with the pierced man.

Levi's pants were still wet, and Eren promised to wash and dry them and lend him a pair of sweat-pants. Levi looked at himself in the mirror, studying his ass in the loose grey pant and looked a bit unsatisfied with his reflection. He thought it looked stupid with the sweat-pants to his Guns'N'Roses t-shirt and worn-out Converse All Stars, but the pants were kind of comfortable to wear. Wearing the pants with nothing else would be okay, but he felt like an idiot in this set.

On their way to the dorm, where Levi and Hanji lived, they were both still a bit hungover but that didn't keep Levi from complaining about the pants, and as soon as he had unlocked the door to his room, he pulled off the t-shirt and settled on the couch bare-chested.

Eren sat down next to him, sliding down on the couch, happy to finally be able to relax again. His body was sore from drinking last night, and it had felt like a very long trip between their homes. The sun and hot weather didn't really help.

Levi turned his head to look at the tired brunette, and smiled to himself. He felt lucky and very happy.

"Don't die on me, brat," he spoke as he got up from the couch again and walked out to get Eren a glass of water. Eren gulped down the water while Levi put a Bon Jovi gramophone record on the old record-player, letting the scratchy sound fill the room. He went to his desk to collect paper and his pencils, and settled down next to Eren again. He sent him a gentle smile before he a concentrated expression grew on his face as he started drawing.

Eren sat back and relaxed in the soft leather-couch, studying the raven-haired as he worked on his sketch. It was intriguing to see how the grey orbs focussed on the movements from the drawing hand. His eyes were sharp and hard, as he disappeared into his work. A concentrated frown crossed his face as his eyes narrowed, every time he unsatisfied with a line or a shadow. It was obvious to see, that this was what he lived and breathed for; his great passion. The pencil in his hand moved as if it was a part of his body, an extension of his own hand. Eren was drawn to the Levi's work, just as much as to Levi himself, and seeing him working like this - showing this side of himself - made the brunette fall even harder for the raven-haired. Eren studied the pierced male for an hour without any of them saying a word.

As the music stopped, Levi finally took his eyes off of the paper, looking over his shoulder to see if the record had stopped. He got up to start the gramophone record over, and on his way back to the couch, he noticed Eren's admiring way of looking at him. The raven-haired looked a bit puzzled by the look in the green eyes.

"What?" he asked and sat down again, taking a moment to return Eren's glance.

"It's fascinating to watch you work," Eren answered, his voice still a bit rusty from last night. Levi huffed out a single laugh, not really believing the brunette's statement.

"I'm sorry for being so unsociable right now," he said, sending Eren an apologizing look, "Do you wanna draw or something while I finish?"

"I can't draw!" Eren laughed sheepishly, scratching his neck.

"Of course you can, everybody can draw!" Levi insisted, handing over a piece of paper and a pencil, "It's just not everybody who's good at it." he added lowly, earning him an offended sound from Eren as he picked up the pencil.

After a moment he threw the pencil and paper besides him in the couch, sighing deeply; "I can't draw, I don't even know what to draw!"

"Don't give up that easily!" Levi yelled back, but then he lowered his voice again before continuing; "You just need a little inspiration..."

Eren looked at him, confused. Levi put down his work and crawled closer to Eren, kissing him with lips as soft as silk. Eren took a deep breath, letting Levi's tongue enter his mouth once again. Levi licked the brunette's lips before playing with his tongue in a greedy kiss. It didn't last long though, as Levi started tracing gentle kissed down Eren's jaw and neck, before the brunette could make a move.

The raven-haired kissed and nibbled at the sensitive skin of the neck, and as Eren made a deep growling sound, he started licking and biting gently instead. He let a hand slip under Eren's shirt and touched the toned chest, making light scratch-marks all over. The raven-haired man moved at bit closer, and inhaled the sweet smell of day-old perfume and sweat on the brunette's neck, while grabbing a fist-full of hair, pulling his head back and making him expose the soft skin on his neck and nape.

Eren breathed sharply by the slight pain, but his hangover began to fade at he felt the wet muscle and teeth work over his skin.

"What are you doing?" he breathed, lazily moving his hand up to nuzzle Levi's soft hair.

"Inspiring you," Levi purred against his neck, biting down a bit harder that before. He pulled off Eren's t-shirt and looked at the naked torso in front of him. Moving closer to the exposed chest, he started licking his way down slowly, and as he reached the pink nipple, Eren let his head fall back against the couch with a breathy moan. The pierced man let his tongue play with the sensitive spot, hitting it multiple times with his piercing and provoking more breathy moans from the brunette.

"Does that inspire you?" he purred over the nipple. Eren gulped in response.

Satisfied with the sound, Levi began to feel safe that Eren wouldn't mind fooling around a little. He had felt unsure about how far Eren would want to go, knowing he had thought he was straight until recently. He had been afraid that it had only been because of the alcohol that Eren had even kissed him last night, but the brunette's reaction to his touch, made him feel at ease.

Levi let his tongue trail over the toned chest to the other nipple and gave it the same treatment, finishing off with a teasing tug with his teeth, resulting in a shiver from Eren's body. He sled down to the floor, placing himself between the brunette's legs, and let his tongue wander lower down over the abdomen, digging his nails into Eren's soft waist and over the hips.

Eren had started panting audible by now, looking down at the half-naked man between his legs. The tattoos danced over the pale skin as Levi moved his head and arms, making them seem alive, and the soft black bangs tickled his chest and stomach as he moved lower down. His head had shut down again. He just watched the cat-like movements from the pierced man as he filled his body with sweet pleasure, making his pants tighten around his crotch as he got more aroused.

Levi took a firm grip on his hips, pulling his ass closer to the edge of the couch and bit down on the lowest part of the brunette's stomach. Eren threw his head back again with a muffled moan and dug his fingers into the couch, the leather making a scratchy sound as his nails slid over the fabric.

The raven-haired could feel Eren's twitching erection in his pants as he bit down, and decided to help the brunette. He opened his pants and dug his hand into his underwear, Eren growling as Levi took a firm grip on his dick and pulled it out. Eren looked down at Levi with glassy eyes and pink cheeks, as the other man sent him a teasing smirk, tightening his hand around the hard-on.

"Are you getting inspired?" Levi asked with a voice as soft as silk, sending the brunette a seductive look.

" _Haah -_ " was all Eren could say, as Levi slowly started stroking his cock.

"How about now?" the raven-haired asked and let his tongue move over the tip.

" _Ahh!_ " Eren moaned, unwillingly thrusting his hips upwards.

Levi smirked again and started moving the tip of his tongue all over the sensitive head, covering it in saliva until Eren started panting harder and his dick leaked a bit of pre-cum. Levi paused for a second and licked up all the pre-cum, making sure to let his tongue trail over the slid on the tip so get all Eren's juice.

He let his long fingers rub over Eren's tip, collecting the saliva and dragging it down over the shaft, slowly stroking his entire length as he slid his other arm under Eren's thigh, grabbing his ass. The brunette arched his back against the couch, giving Levi a chance to let his hand slip into his pants and getting a firm grip on his butt-cheek. As he noticed how nice Eren's ass was, he started licking and gently sucking on the brunette's balls.

"Fucking Christ!" Eren growled and covered his face with his arm.

"I prefer Levi, god of sex," Levi teased and let his hand move all the way down to the root of Eren's cock, and moved his mouth back up to the tip. Closing his lips around the tip and sucking, he made another moan escape Eren's throat and he tightened his grip on the couch.

With a satisfied humming-sound, Levi removed his hand from Eren's dick and started rubbing his saliva-soaked balls, while he sucked in all of the brunette's length. Eren breathed out sharply and jerked forward as he shut his eyes by the sensation of the raven-haired male sucking him in like that. He could feel the piercing trace down the underside of his dick as Levi took him in.

"Fuck -  _haah_  - Levi!" he moaned loudly, and as Levi responded with another low humming-sound around his cock, he moaned again. The brunette let his fingers slid through Levi's black hair and held onto it, while the latter slowly let his lips slide up the twitching length before starting to bob his head.

Eren looked at Levi's neck and hair as pierced male moved his head up and down, brushing his tongue and piercing against the sensitive underside of the brunette's dick. Eren tried to focus as he didn't want to cum right away, but the warmth of Levi's mouth and the rubbing against his balls made his stomach tighten way too fast, and he could feel the heat brush through his body.

Levi moved back for a second, starting to stroke the cock in front of him again, as he looked up at Eren's wild green eyes, and let his tongue-piercing rub against the slit on the swollen tip. Eren moaned out loudly again and bit his lip, trying to hold back.

Levi let his lips close around the tip again and started bobbing his head again, making sure to go all the way down by each thrust. Eren leaned back against the couch again, as his body started shaking. Levi picked up his pace, making Eren moan out over and over again.

_"Ahh - haah - fuck - shit - ahh - Levi!"_

Eren's voice grew louder from each moan as Levi swallowed around his sensitive tip, moving faster and faster as Eren's grip tightened on his hair.

"Fuck, Levi, stop!" Eren panted, feeling his climax getting closer fast, "I -  _ahh!_  - I'm gonna..."

Levi tightened his grip on Eren's balls, pulling them slightly as he deepthroated the brunette a few times, pushing him over the edge. Levi swallowed as Eren shot a cascade of sperm into his mouth, subconsciously thrusting into the wetness to ride out his orgasm and his entire body tightening. Levi licked the over-sensitive dick clean, making Eren tremble every time the wet muscle touched his skin. The raven-haired found it quite entertaining to torment the brunette as he laid limp on his couch. Having enough of Levi's teasing, Eren pulled him back up at the couch and kissed him to get him under control. Levi smirked at the overwhelmed male, and moved back to his own corner and pulled out his sketches again.

Eren looked at him with a dazed expression, slowly gaining control over his body.

"Are you inspired now?" he purred and winked at the brunette before returning his attention to his drawing.


	10. Chapter 10

Eren felt happy and energetic on his way to the university Monday morning. Normally he would be tired the first couple of hours after waking up, but the bare thought of Levi made his stomach feel like it was filled with butterflies.

They had hung out at Levi's place until Sunday evening, where Eren had to get back to his own apartment to study a bit and get ready for his lectures on Monday. They had cuddled in Levi's big fluffy bed with all the colourful pillows for most of the Sunday, talked about everything and nothing and just enjoyed each others company, while the soft summer sunlight had shined through the windows, filling the room with a nice and serene atmosphere.

The brunette met up with Jean outside the university, and they went for their first lecture together. Jean seemed a bit better after the weekend, but his mood was still low even though he tried to hide it. Eren thought about telling him what Hanji had said to him about Mikasa at The Dancing Titan, but decided to talk to Mikasa first. He wanted to make up with her anyway, as he didn't want her to feel like she was loosing all of her friends. As they walked into the class-room, the brunette greeted her as always, but she just looked down at her notes and pretended she hadn't heard him.

Eren knew Mikasa had probably made a lunch-date with Reiner as always, and tried to catch her in a break between the first and second lesson. He walked up to her and leaned in over her desk, making it impossible for her to ignore him and sent her an insisting glare as he asked her to follow him to the hallway so they could talk. She followed him, reluctantly.

"Eren, please just leave it," Mikasa said as soon as they had found a quiet space in the hallway.

"No, hear me out," Eren insisted, still not willing to give up on his two friend making up. Other than that, he thought it was stupid for them to act like this, if they actually liked each other. "I'm really sorry about what I said last Friday, I'm sure you know what you are doing."

She sent him a look of disbelief. "Okay... Thank you."

"But can I ask you something?" Eren asked, hoping she wouldn't get mad at him again. He looked past her for a second, as something caught his eyes. Levi walked towards them, obviously about to approach the brunette, as his grey orbs was focused on Eren's green.

Mikasa nodded and looked at the brunette expectantly, but he didn't say anything. As Levi came closer, he lifted his hand to wave at Eren and sent him a warm smile. Eren's heart melted a bit, but his subconsciousness told him to get away before Levi approached him. He grabbed Mikasa's arm and pulled her away, walking right past Levi, who stopped in the middle of the hallway with a puzzled expression on his face. Eren managed to send him an apologizing smile right as he passed him and disappeared around a corner, still dragging the raven-haired girl along.

"Eren, what are you doing?" she yelled as they turned the corner.

Levi looked after them, as a dark expression settled on his face while students passed him in the hallway as they walked to their next lecture.

"It just got a little crowded back there," Eren apologized as he let go of Mikasa's arm after finding an empty class-room. He felt horrible about treating Levi like that, but he didn't know what else to do. He felt guilty, thinking about how he would have to make it up to the raven-haired male, but right now he had to focus on Mikasa.

"You are acting so weird sometimes, you know that?" she said annoyed, crossing her arms under her chest.

The words hit him hard; 'acting weird'. He didn't want people to think he acted weird. He didn't want people to think anything about him at all! He just wanted to fit in, go around unnoticed, never stand out. Did she think he was weird? Did anybody else think he was weird? She had no idea why he acted like he did, she had to reason to think he was weird. He had chosen her as a friend, because he though she wouldn't judge him. And now she said he was weird. He could feel the anger boil in him and the cold sweat on his neck.

He looked up at her with cold eyes. She seemed shocked by the sudden change in his mood, but he started speaking before she could manage to ask.

"Oh,  _I'm_ the one acting weird? Have you looked at your own behaviour lately?"

"What do you mean?" she asked, taken aback by the hard tone in his voice.

"You're the one who suddenly started dating that asshole, just to make Jean jealous and now you refuse to talk to him! He's fucking hurt because he still likes you! Why couldn't you just tell him you started liking him after getting to know him, like a normal human being would do?  _You_  are the one acting weird here!" he yelled, and as Mikasa just looked at him with a shocked expression painted all over her face, he walked out of the room and left her alone. It looked like he hit the nail on the head, but he was too angry to enjoy the victory.

He stomped back through the hallway and into the class-room where he sat down by his desk without speaking a word to Jean who looked puzzled by the angry expression on the brunettes face. Jean understood that he shouldn't ask and focused on his laptop in front of him. A couple of minutes later, Mikasa walked back into the room, looking quite lost. She looked up at the two men, trying to catch Eren's eyes, but he completely ignored her.

He pulled out his phone as a low tone indicated that he got a text. It was from Levi. Breathing deep, Eren tried to calm himself before reading the message, knowing he would have to come up with an explanation to his behaviour.

_What the fuck are you doing?_

Eren sighed, knowing that Levi was probably mad at him. He turned in the chair to make sure no one could look over his shoulder and see the screen as he answered.

_I'm sorry, I was talking to Mikasa about her and Jean._

A couple of minutes passed, and the lecture began. Eren kept his phone on his desk, checking for messages every few seconds, not able to concentrate. Jean glanced at him, not used to see the brunette so unfocused. As soon as the phone vibrated on the desk, Eren picked it up and opened the message.

_You were still acting pretty rude._

Eren felt the guilt build up in his stomach. He knew he had acted wrong, but he was still afraid to be seen with Levi at the university. He tried to imagine having lunch with the pierced man or walk around in the hallways with him. They would attract attention and people would probably laugh and whisper behind their backs. He gulped hard by the uncomfortable thought. What if Levi acted all lovey-dovey with him in the middle of the hallway? Not that Levi really seemed like someone who would do that, but what  _if_ he did? Another text made the phone vibrate in his hand, and he looked down at it.

_It's not like I planned on fucking you right then and there in front of your friend._

Eren laughed nervously to himself, earning him another puzzled look from Jean and the other students around him. He could feel another layer of cold sweat on his neck, as he noticed the eyes focused on him.

"Is everything all right, Jaeger?" the professor asked, noticing the noise coming from the brunette and the distracted people around him.

"Y-yes. I'm sorry, Sir," the brunette answered, feeling even worse as the rest of his class turned to look at him. This wasn't good, this was  _not_ good! If they would just stop looking at him, he could text Levi back and focus on the lecture.

"Are you okay?" Jean whispered, without taking his eyes off his laptop.

"Yes, I'm fine," Eren whispered back with a shaky voice.

"Are you sure? You don't seem-"

"I'm fine!" Eren raised his whisper a bit to stop Jean from talking to him.

"Jaeger!" the professor's voice filled the room once again, as he raised his voice at Eren, "I don't care if you don't find the subject interesting enough to pay attention, but stop disturbing Kirschstein!"

All eyes turned to Eren once again and he felt like he was about to faint, as he answered with a shaky voice; "No, I'm sorry, Sir! It's very interesting! I'll shut up!"

"Good! And put that phone away."

Eren sent a text to Levi under the desk before placing it in his pocket.

_Can we talk later?_

At lunch he checked his phone again while trying to convince Jean that he was okay. His stomach hurt from the last lecture and right now he just needed to relax during the lunch-break and not have any more upsetting experiences that day. Levi had sent him another message a couple of minutes after he sent his last, but he hadn't dared to read it during the lecture.

_I guess. Want to meet up by the front gate after the last lecture?_

Eren bit his lip. Letting other people see him talk to Levi in front of the university, was not something he wanted to deal with right now. Maybe not at all. He kicked himself mentally for being so afraid of being seen with the raven-haired man, but today just wasn't the day he wanted to take that step. He looked down at his phone, hiding the screen from Jean's vision, as he texted back.

_I'm having a late lecture today. I can meet you at your place._

As Eren settled down by a table in the canteen with Jean and Armin, Levi sent back a simple ' _Ok_ ' and Eren put away his phone. Both Jean and Armin noticed Eren's low mood, but none of them dared ask him what had happened. They all looked down at the table, eating in silence, until a dark-haired figure approached their table.

"Uhm... Jean, can I -" Mikasa started, looking quite nervous. Jean looked at her as she finally spoke to him again, but she was cut off by a voice coming from behind her.

"Come on, babe, let's get back!" Reiner said, wrapping his arm around her waist. Mikasa looked at Jean with a frightened expression, knowing what was going through his head, as he looked down again, ignoring both the blonde man and the raven-haired girl.

"No, wait!" she yelled as Reiner pulled her away from her friends, insisting on her going back to the class-room with him.

Armin looked after them, about to ask his friends what that was all about, but the dark expressions on both Eren and Jean's faces, were enough to keep him quiet. After eating, they parted ways with Armin, and the other two walked back towards the class-room in silence. They were looking at their feet, not interested in having a conversation, until they heard a familiar voice yelling at the other end of the hallway. Both Eren and Jean looked up and moved past a few other students who had stopped on their way through the hallway, to see what all the fuss was about.

Mikasa and Reiner was standing in front of the class-room, Mikasa yelling at the blonde who looked at her with a displeased expression.

"You are not to tell me who I can talk to!" the raven-haired girl screamed, and pushed the blonde's hand away as he tried to calm her down and make her stop yelling.

"Why do you even want to talk to him, he's a fucking looser!" Reiner snarled at her, gritting his teeth.

"Don't talk about my friends like that!" she yelled back, her brown eyes shooting fire at him.

"Shut it, bitch, I will not let you make a scene in the middle of the hallway!" the blonde raised his voice and grabbed onto her arm again to drag her away. Mikasa sent him a death-glare when she heard the word 'bitch' and punched him right in the face.

"Don't call me a bitch, you fucking asshole!" she screamed and turned around at walk away from the angry man.

"She's scary when she gets mad," Jean whispered as the raven-haired girl returned to the class-room without sparing the blonde - or anyone else - another look. Reiner followed after a few moments, walking to the back of the room and hiding behind his laptop, not looking as cocky as usual.

 

* * *

 

After the last lecture, Eren went to the dorm and knocked on Levi's door. He wasn't really sure what to tell the raven-haired as his mind had been filled with what he had witnessed in the hallway a couple of hours earlier. He had never seen Mikasa act like that before, and he was just tired from all that had happened at the university that day.

Levi answered the door after a moment, letting the brunette in without saying a word. Eren bit his lip, noticing the serious expression on Levi's face. He did not look happy. Standing in the middle of the room, while Levi closed the door, Eren searched his brain for a good explanation to why he had ignored the raven-haired male earlier, but all he could focus on was the scratching sounds of Aerosmith from the old record player and the dark look in Levi's grey eyes.

"Please, don't be mad at me," Eren said desperately, "I've had a really long day, and I just want you to hug me and tell me everything's gonna be okay."

Levi looked up at him with a puzzled look, as if this was the last thing he had expected to hear from the brunette. The feeling of being exposed in the middle of a lecture along with Mikasa's word about him acting weird, suddenly overwhelmed Eren's mind and he just couldn't take Levi being mad at him right now, even though he deserved it.

The raven-haired man walked over to Eren and threw his arms around him in a tight embrace. Eren melted into his arms and leaned his head against Levi's shoulder. Levi started caressing his back to calm him down, before kissing his cheek gently.

"What's the matter, brat?" he asked lowly against Eren's ear, slowly moving them towards the couch and sat Eren down in front of him.

"I just had a really bad day," Eren mumbled, hating himself for letting Levi see this pathetic side of him. He looked down at his hands in his lap and sighed.

"What happened?"

"I tried talking to Mikasa about her and Jean, and we ended up fighting again. She told me I was acting weird, and I ended up yelling at her and saying she was the one acting weird, and I kinda told her that Jean still likes her and that she was an idiot for trying to make him jealous. Then she got into a fight with Reiner, and even though I don't like him at all, I'm not sure if I did something stupid when I told her about Jean and I just..." he trailed off, not knowing what to do or say. He wasn't in a position to tell Mikasa what to do, and he didn't even want to get involved in the first place. He didn't want to be the reason for Mikasa and Reiner breaking up, and if Mikasa and Jean didn't even start talking again it had all been a waste of time.

"You did what you felt was right," Levi stated, taking Eren's hand to calm him down.

"What would you have done?" Eren asked, desperate to know if he had actually done the right thing by yelling at his friend like that. He felt ashamed about showing her that side of him, but at the same time did it feel kind of right; the words had come from his heart without him thinking it through first.

"I could never advise you on that. No matter what kind of wisdom dictates the option you pick, no one will be able to tell if it's right or wrong until you arrive to some sort of outcome from your choice," Levi said, locking eyes with the brunette.

Eren thought about it for a moment, but he was still too upset to think clearly. He rubbed his face with his free hand in frustration. He couldn't remember the last time he had felt like this, and he hated it!

Levi pushed him back against the armrest and climbed on top of him, leaning down and kissing him before cuddling up next to him. The raven-haired wrapped his arms around the brunette and rested his head in the crook of his neck, kissing the soft skin to calm him down. Eren pulled the raven-haired man a little closer and returned the kiss. They laid there for a moment before Levi spoke up again.

"Don't worry, I'm sure everything will be okay," he said lowly, stroking the brunette's chest. Eren sighed, and hoped he was right.

"I'm sorry about the way I treated you earlier," he said lowly. Levi's gentle way of treating him and the fact that he had stopped being mad at him, just because Eren asked him to, made him feeling even worse about ignoring the pierced man.

"I forgive you," Levi mumbled, but he stopped caressing Eren's chest as he remembered why he was mad at him in the first place, "I just don't understand you."

"That makes two of us," Eren though to himself, and said; "I know it wasn't very nice of me. I really  _am_ sorry."

"You know, Eren," Levi started after thinking for a moment, "It's not like I'm gonna follow you around everywhere or even try to kiss you in public, if that's what you're afraid of."

"I'm not afr-" Eren said, trying to hide the fact that he was indeed afraid of exactly that.

"No, hear me out," Levi cut him off, and raised his head to lock eyes with the brunette, "I remember what it was like coming out myself, and you don't have to do anything if you're not ready. I wont make you kiss me or anything if you don't want to. I just like hanging out with you, and it would be nice if you would at least acknowledge my presence when we see each other at the university. I wont force you to do anything."

Eren looked away, his heart breaking by how sweet and caring Levi was and how he himself didn't even want to be seen talking to him. This was so wrong, and God, how he hated himself for being like this. He really liked Levi and he wanted to spend as much time with him as possible, but his first priority was to never stand out. Levi made him stand out by his bare presence, but he could never ask him to pretend they didn't knew each other in public. He looked back at Levi, who's eyes had narrowed as Eren had avoided the eye-contact.

"Thank you," Eren said and kissed the soft lips to distract the pierced male, "And I'm sorry. I really like you."

"I like you too, brat," Levi said after breaking the kiss. He rested his head against Eren's shoulder again, and they enjoyed each others company in silence while the music played in the background.

Listening to 'I don't wanna miss a thing' together like this, seemed a bit cheesy to Eren, but he enjoyed it nonetheless. He had never been the romantic type, but this seemed so natural with Levi. Why couldn't everyone be as easy to be around as the raven-haired man? He liked his friends too, but Hanji could be so eccentric and lacked situational awareness at times, and Mikasa and Jean was just a pain in the ass when they refused to talk to each other and acted like little children. Levi, on the other hand, always spoke his mind, he was funny, kind, smart, and he made Eren feel at ease. He made him relax and he felt like he could be himself in front of the pierced man.

"Hey, Levi..." Eren said, lost in his own thoughts.

"Mh?" Levi responded, not moving at all.

"I think I'm in love with you."


	11. Chapter 11

"Mhh..." Levi said again, still not moving.

Eren started regretting what he had just said, until he heard a low snoring sound next to his ear. Er turned his head and saw that Levi with closed eyes and slightly parted lips, sleeping half on top of him and clinging onto the brunette. Eren smiled to himself, and stoke the black locks. He'd had a long day and the fight with Mikasa had been quite exhausting. A nap might not be a bad idea. He adjusted himself on the couch without waking up the raven-haired man, and cuddled up closer to him, closing his eyes and let his mind wander. Just before falling asleep, he thought that maybe it was a good thing that Levi hadn't heard what he just said.

But what he didn't knew was, that Levi  _had_  heard him. After pretending to be asleep for a few minutes, he could hear Eren's breathing become deeper and the brunette started making little sounds in his sleep. Levi's listened to the low whining noises, and opened his eyes as soon as he was absolutely sure that the other man was asleep.

He looked at the sleeping face in front of him. Eren was very handsome, he would give him that. Up close like this, he could see how pretty his features were; thick, dark eyebrows and eyelashes and the completely straight nose over those sweet and skilled lips. Even though Levi still thought that Eren wasn't the type he would normally fall for, he was a really nice catch. He really liked him, and he enjoyed studying him like this.

The raven-haired male wasn't really sure why he had pretended to be asleep. The words had just come so suddenly, and he wasn't really sure how to respond. It was a bit early to say  _'I'm in love with you'_  wasn't it? They didn't even knew each other that well, but then again, Eren had said 'I  _think_  I'm in love with you'. Being honest to himself, Levi knew what the real issue was; he was a bit unsure about what Eren really felt, because he had the tendency to say one thing and do the complete opposite. Levi had noticed that Eren  _always_  avoided him at the university, even before they became like this. The only two times they had actually talked to each other at the university, was the morning he and Hanji had met Eren by the front-gate and that time when Hanji and Eren came to see the workshop, where he'd been working along with Erwin and Erd.

Levi didn't want to force Eren to spend time with him, but it just seemed weird that he ignored him at the university and then said he wanted to spend as much time with the pierced man as possible, and even said that he thought he was in love with him. It was not like he thought Eren was lying to him - his words and actions when they were alone seemed very genuine - but there was something off about the brunette. He just couldn't put his finger on it.

He wasn't ready to say he was in love as well. Even though he was proud to always speak his mind and not care what people said about him, he felt the need to protect himself now. He wanted to take things slowly and find out what it was about the brunette, that made him feel so uneasy sometimes. He pulled the sleeping Eren a bit closer, burying his nose in his neck and sniffing his sweet and warm scent. He liked him, he really did. He just hated being confused like this; it made him feel lost and unsure of himself and he didn't need that right now, not ever. After all, he had fought so hard to find himself.

 

* * *

 

The next day at the university, Eren was in a bad mood. After getting back to his own place the previous day, he had fallen asleep almost instantly, without eating or studying. He had slept horribly, waking up multiple times during the night and having weird dreams about a mix of his outburst in front of Mikasa and specific situation from his childhood. He had been six years old again, yelling at Mikasa, who oddly enough still was 23, and suddenly the room had been filled with children starring at him. Mikasa had started laughing with a dark and cocky tone, that wasn't hers, and all the children had started laughing as well while pointing at him.

At 3 AM, he had woken up sweating and shaking, and he didn't dare to go back to sleep. He had taken a long and cold shower, trying to calm himself down and think things through. At first he had just had doubt about whether he had done the right thing, but soon the only thing going through his mind, was what Mikasa thought of him now. Did she think he was weird? Weirder? He had made himself stand out and the regret made his stomach turn.

Trying to distract himself, he had jerked off in the shower, thinking about Levi's mouth and pierced tongue on his dick, but as soon as he released his mind slipped back to his current situation, and he felt exactly as bad as before.

He arrived at the university early that morning. The mornings had slowly started getting colder and darker, and for the first time all summer, he was wearing a jacket. A black and white - neutral, of course - collegejacket, looking just like the one everyone else had. He settled down by a desk by the window in the empty class-room and watched as students walked through the front-gate, chatting and greeting their friends. After ten minutes, he spotted Levi and Hanji as soon as they turned around the corner and became visible for his view at the window. Levi sure was conspicuous, despite of his height; he was wearing a leather-jacket with studs all over, some of them very pointy, along with a pair of black and white striped pants, and something that looked like a over-size ripped shirt, hidden under the jacket. He looked tired and moody, sipping his morning-coffee and looking very annoyed by Hanji, who kept touching his studs.

The brunette watched as people turned their heads to look at the pierced man and the enthusiastic woman as they passed them, and thought to himself that he would never be able to walk around with Levi like that. Thinking like that made him even more angry at himself, but when Jean sat down next to him, offering him a friendly 'good morning', Eren pulled on his happy-face and sent his friend a wide smile, returning his greeting. He would attract too much attention if he seemed angry.

A couple of hours later, Jean and Eren were gathering their belongings, ready to go to the canteen to have lunch. Eren smiled and chatted with his friend, but on the inside, he felt horrible. He felt paranoid, expecting everybody to look at him and talk about him behind his back, and he was still angry at himself.

They walked down towards the door, when they saw Mikasa standing next to it, looking at the two guys as they came closer.

"Hey," she said shyly, looking down as the two of them stopped, "I was wondering if you would like to have lunch with me?"

She looked up at them again, her cheeks a bit pink as she awaited their response. Both Eren and Jean looked surprised by the humble tone in her voice.

"S-sure!" Jean then yelled, blushing a bit as he took a step closer to her. Mikasa's eyes widened and a bright smile grew on her face. She threw her arms around Jean, hugging him tightly. Jean blushed even further as he slowly returned the hug.

"I'm so sorry, Jean, please forgive me!" she cried out, while hugging him.

"A-about what?" Jean asked flustered, apparently already forgetting about their fight.

"Just... everything," she said, and pulled away, "Can we... talk about it somewhere?"

Jean looked from Mikasa to Eren, sending him a look to ask if he would be okay with the two of them talking alone during the break.

"Just go, I'll just have lunch with Armin," Eren smiled, starting to feel a little better, before walking out the door and heading for the canteen to meet with Armin. He looked back to see Mikasa and Jean walking towards the entrance, trying to find a quiet place to talk, none of them looking at each other, Mikasa wearing a tiny smile and Jean still blushing.

Eren told Armin what happened with Jean and Mikasa, and the blonde sent him a bright smile, telling him how happy he was, that they finally talked to each other. Eren told him that he thought Mikasa had started dating Reiner to make Jean jealous and about how Mikasa and Reiner had fought in the hallway the previous day. He didn't mention Hanji or Levi, or the fact that he had yelled at Mikasa. Armin listened to what the brunette told him, and after giving it a bit of thought, he agreed with him.

They talked about their two friends during the break, sitting by their usual table in the corner of the canteen. Jean and Mikasa never came to join them, and Eren didn't see them on his way back to the class-room after splitting up with Armin.

He walked down the hallway, not really sure what to think about anything anymore, when a familiar and very enthusiastic voice called his name.

"Hey Hanji," he greeted before even turning around to see her wide smile.

"The guys are working down at the workshop later today, and I wanna visit them again. Wanna come?" she asked without further ado.

"Ehh... Why do you want me to come?" Eren asked nervously.

"Oh, because we had such a good time last week at the festival!" she beamed and grabbed his sleeve in excitement, "Please?"

"Oh, ehh..." Eren said, his fears disappearing as Hanji apparently didn't knew about Levi and him, "I guess I can join you, if you really-"

"Great!" she clapped her hands lightly and jumped in joy, "I'll catch you later then!" Hanji patted Eren on the shoulder before running off again, greeting a few people on her way to her lecture. Right now, Eren would give his left arm for a bit of her energy.

After returning to his spot by the window in the class-room, Jean and Mikasa finally came back just before the lecture started. It looked like they had managed to talk things through, and Eren was happy to see Mikasa wave friendly at Jean when she got back at her desk in front of the room and he walked back towards Eren. Jean sent Eren a victorious smile as Eren looked at him curiously.

"What happened?" Eren whispered as the professor entered the room, closing the door behind him.

"Not much. We just talked and agreed to make up," Jean answered lowly, and pulled out his laptop.

Eren studied him from the corner of his eyes for a moment. Jean tried to focus on the lecture, but soon his eyes had a dreamy haze to it. Eren noticed his lips were pinkish and slightly swollen.

Hanji caught him again after his last lecture. Knowing she would probably be looking for him, he had told his friends to leave without him because he had some stuff to catch up on in the library. He made a note to himself, though, to make Jean tell him what happened. He  _was_  his friend after all, it was allowed to be curious, right?

Hanji was as happy energetic as usual, when she dragged him along to the other end of the university. Eren could feel the butterflies in his stomach by the bare thought of seeing Levi again, but at the same time, he wasn't really sure how they should act towards each other, in front of other people. He really hoped Levi wouldn't do anything, even though it was just his friends.

The two brunettes made their way to the workshop a lot faster than last time, and Eren was pretty sure that Hanji had been down there a few times since last time. As they tuned around the last corner, they could hear music from the other end of the hallway, just like last time. Hanji sped up and ripped the door open, Eren trying to keep up with her.

"Surprise!" Hanji yelled, and waved to the tree guys in the room, before attacking Erd. She jumped on top of him, threw her arms around his neck and kissed him multiple times on the cheek. He laughed at her and held her close, trying to atop her hyper-active affection-attack, to place a proper kiss on her lips.

Eren closed the door behind him, greeting the three guys with an awkward wave. Erwin waved back and send him a friendly smile, Levi just locked eyes with him for a moment before looking down at his work again. Eren felt a bit uneasy, not really sure what to do with himself.

"Coffee?" Erwin finally asked, looking at the two brunettes, both nodding, and then he looked at Levi, who ignored him. "It's your turn."

"You offered them the coffee, make it yourself," Levi said, without looking up.

"Nope, it's your turn," Erwin insisted, focussing on his work again. The tone in their voiced really became sharp and cold, as soon as they talked while working at the same time. "If I make the coffee, you're gonna force to make a cup for you as well. It's your turn."

"Fine!" Levi said annoyed, and threw his pencil across the desk as he got up.

"You need a hand?" Eren offered, and moved away from the door.

"No, I think I'm old enough to make coffee without  _'adult'_ supervision," Levi said sarcastically as he walked to the tiny kitchen next door.

"I think  _'old'_ is the important word in that sentence," Eren mumbled, but making it just audible for Levi to hear.

"I heard that!" Levi yelled from the kitchen. The four remaining giggled before Levi cried out again; "Which one of you fuckers didn't clean up the kitchen last time?" He popped up in the doorway, glaring darkly at his two blonde friends. Erd and Erwin exchanged puzzled looks.

"I can't remember if it was my turn or Erwin's," Erd then said, and it was obvious neither of them cared half as much as Levi did. The raven-haired man frowned at them before turning around and cleaning the kitchen himself while making coffee.

Eren decided to help him carry the mugs back into the other room, Levi obviously still annoyed by the mess his friends had left in the kitchen.

"You know..." Eren said, with a teasing voice, "Being so obsessed with bacteria as you are, is often rooted in some trauma from the childhood." Hanji giggled by the look Eren received by that comment.

"Seriously, brat, the next time you play psychologist on my expense, I'm gonna kick your ass!" Levi snarled while handing a mug to Erwin. Eren sent the pierced man an amused look.

"So, Levi-" Hanji started, walking over to grab a mug from Eren, and the two of them placing themselves in front of Levi's desk, "What  _is_ you trauma?"

Levi sent her a death-glare, but it didn't have any effect on her. "I fail to see how that's any of your business?" he said with a cold voice, ignoring Eren's persuasive smile next to her.

"Come on, Levi, I'd die to know why you're such a clean-freak!" Hanji beamed, looking at Erd for support. The blonde sent Levi a sheepish smile, signalling that he was sorry to be forced to take Hanji's side. Levi rolled his eyes at him and looked at Erwin, who looked at him just as intrigued as the others.

"Jesus fucking Christ! It's not that interesting!" he yelled and tossed the pencil over the edge of the desk.

"But there  _is_ a trauma!" Hanji pointed out.

"Whatever," Levi finally said, thinking that it didn't really matter all that much, and he wasn't even sure if he would call it a trauma. "When I was six, my parents sent me to a boarding school. They travelled a lot due to their work and needed a place for me to be, so as soon as I was old enough, they sent me away."

"So you felt abandoned by your parents?" Hanji asked, sounding a lot like a psychologist, earning her an annoyed glare from the raven-haired man.

"Would you just shut up?" he asked, and the three other males giggled, before he continued; "No, they weren't bad parents, they just didn't have the time to raise a child. The boarding school were pretty crappy though."

"Did they use you as slaves? Forcing you to bake and sell cookies, only to use the money on booze and fancy clothes?" Hanji asked, her eyes widening by her imagination.

"Okay, that's it. I'm not gonna say another word about it!" Levi yelled, and turned his head to his work, picking up another pencil.

Eren shushed and winked at Hanji, and said; "No, come on, Levi. We're listening."

Levi looked at the brunette, who looked back at him with puppy eyes, and the raven-haired sighed annoyed, not showing that he couldn't resist Eren's adorable face. Eren could feel the thrill of secretly flirting in front of the others without them knowing anything about their romance.

"Fine," Levi mumbled, put kept on drawing while he spoke; "They weren't using us as  _slaves_  but they were very strict and used violence as punishment. And very often. Everytime a student was late for class, hadn't done their homework - no matter what the excuse was - and if our rooms weren't kept clean enough. Stuff like that is very scary for a six-year-old, and when I told my parents about it, they just laughed and said I exaggerated. They just didn't believe me. I guess that's how I picked up being a  _'clean-freak'_ as you call it," he looked up at Hanji for a second, before focusing on his work again with an expressionless face, "As soon as I graduated I moved away to live by myself. At that time I hated my parents for sending me to a place like that, and after growing up in what felt like a prison, I spend a lot of time trying to find myself. I overdid it, though, and ended up hurting a lot of people because I only did what I wanted to without considering how if affected others. One day I just woke up and realised that I hated the person I had become. So I moved again, started talking to my parents and found a way to be who I was without being a shitty brat."

The other four were silent, thinking about what the raven-haired had just said. Levi glared from one to another with an annoyed expression.

"Is that what you wanted?" he asked Hanji, who had narrowed her eyes a bit as she let his words settle in her mind.

Eren placed his ass on Levi's desk and looked at him, feeling the urge to hug him. It didn't seem like Levi had trouble talking about his past, but Eren just wanted to hold him. He wondered if Levi might have other issues due to his childhood, but he didn't want to ask him about it now.

"I think it's normal to try too hard to find yourself after an experience like that," Erwin said thoughtfully and took a sip of his coffee. Levi put down the pencil again and adjusted himself in the chair, looking like someone ready to have a longer conversation. Erwin picked up on it as well, and dragged his chair closer to Levi's desk.

"What do you mean?" the raven-haired asked, as Erwin sat down again and took another sip of his coffee.

"I'm just saying that the more people try to affect you and make you fit into certain labels, the more you want to fight to find yourself," the blonde answered calmly.

"You're right, it's in the human nature to wish to be seen as an individual," Eren said, not using his psychologist-voice on purpose. Levi and Erwin looked at him, the blonde with interest, and the raven-haired with an expression saying 'getting real tired of your psychologist-shit'.

"You study psychology, right?" Erwin asked and Eren nodded. "Well, that explains why you were so eager to find yourself, Levi."

"It just gets unhealthy when you overdo it just like I did. I got my ass kicked a lot of times, because I was an asshole and because I didn't knew when I should shut up and fit in."

"Of course it's important to know when to shut up and keep a low profile," Erwin agreed, "but no one should be forced into not being who they are, especially not children."

"Naah, but you know what it's like standing out like we do," Levi huffed with a bitter smirk on his lips before taking a sip of his coffee.

"What do you mean?"

"Don't tell me that no one ever made fun of your dreadlocks or your clothes?" Levi said, touching his eyebrow-piercing absent-minded.

"Of course, but it's people I don't even know, so why should I care?" the blonde answered, smiling at the raven-haired who returned the smile, both of them knowing exactly what it was like being looked down upon by strangers.

Eren looked at them with a puzzled look. Of course he knew they were bound to get a lot of comments from strangers who would judge them by their appearances, but he would never be able to understand how they could be so careless about it. Normally he would be able to understand most of human-behaviour due to his knowledge about psychology, but he didn't understand this. As if she had read his mind, Hanji patted his shoulder, and sent him a bright smile as he looked at her.

"Say, Eren, don't you have some wise psychologist words about this?" she beamed, apparently just as curious as him.

"No, I don't think we've been over this yet," Eren answered, searching his brain for a way to analyse their opinion.

"It's actually very simple," Levi said, slamming his feet on the table and leaning back in the chair, "When you get friends who accept you as you are, you stop caring about what strangers think."

"You need to find yourself and learn to feel relaxed about being who you are, but of course there are times when you need to hold back, but when you start being comfortable about being who you are, you find the friends who accepts you as well," Erwin added, both of them looking at Hanji.

"And that's why I've got so many friends!" Hanji laughed, winking at Eren before jumping back to Erd who had listened to the conversation from the corner while working, "And that's why you like me so much, Honey-Bunny!" she beamed while wrapping her arms around him again and placing a wet kiss on his lips. Erd had put his work down as soon as he saw her approaching him again, and laughed at her statement, agreeing.

Levi frowned at them, and looked down at his coffee. The words still lingered in Eren's mind and he knew why the conversation had affected him so much. He wished he could be like the others, being comfortable with himself. He had to admit how exhausting it was to always fit in, even though it was pretty much a habit by now. But he was hiding so much and always had. He wondered where he would be now, if he hadn't let his class-mates' words affect him back on his first day of school. Would he still have long hair and wear the same clothes as back then? Would he look like he did now? Would he still live with his mother or would he be a third place? He knew his life would have been completely different, but that thought was scary as well. Would his friends really accept him if he stopped trying to fit in, and just became  _Eren Jaeger, no filters?_ He felt the cold sweat as his mind wandered to the previous day again, thinking about how Mikasa had seen  _him_.

Eren got up from the table and walked around a little to hide his nervousness, trying to shake it off by thinking of other things. Erwin got up from his seat and dragged the chair back to his own spot. He took another sip of his coffee and realized the mug was empty.

"Anyone else want another cup?" he asked around, and collected the mugs. As he walked into the kitchen, Eren moved back towards Levi, who was focused on his work once again. Eren leaned against the disk, and spoke with a voice so low that only Levi could hear it.

"Do you have plans this weekend?"

Levi stopped his work for a moment, lifting his pierced eyebrow but not looking at the brunette. He found it silly that Eren would ask him such a question now, when he knew the brunette didn't want anyone to know about them. But he also found it thrilling to flirt like this in front of their friends.

"I have a big assignment I need to work on," he breathed out in a way that Eren almost didn't knew he even said anything.

"You could do that at my place," he said lowly, covering it with a low cough.

"Is that so?" Levi whispered back without moving his lips.

"Yes. You could stay all weekend and I could cook for you while you write, and stuff like that," the brunette offered, sending the raven-haired a smirk as they briefly caught each others eyes.

"Really?" Levi whispered with an unimpressed tone in his voice.

"I promise I'll clean the place," Eren whispered and scratched his back, looking out the window behind the raven-haired male.

"Deal," Levi smirked, and lowered his head to hide his face behind his bangs.

Eren turned his back towards his friends and smiled to himself. He was really looking forward to have Levi all by himself again.


	12. Chapter 12

The next couple of days went by fast. Eren and Levi didn't interact that much, except for texting during the lectures. Eren managed to hide his phone and not get caught again, but his focus had been more on his phone than on the lessons. He knew it would turn out bad if he let it go on like this for too long, but right now he couldn't concentrate on anything if he knew he had gotten a text from Levi. The raven-haired man was on his mind all the time, and he had to stop himself from walking around with a goofy, absent-minded smile all the time.

Everything was back to normal between Mikasa and Jean. She started having lunch with the tree guys again, and they picked up where they left, as if nothing had happened. Mikasa had seemed nervous during their first lunch-break together, but neither Eren nor Armin felt the need to talk about what had happened. It had affected Jean more than them, and since Jean and her had already talked things through, there was no need to say anything more about the matter. Mikasa was surprised by their way of handling it, but as she realized that they were just happy to have her back, she started relaxing again and it felt like nothing had ever happened.

Jean told Eren that Mikasa had dumped Reiner and of course he had tried to come up with a lie about already having found another girl and that he was going to dump her anyway. Mikasa didn't let it affect her and just wished Reiner good luck. The blonde had avoided the three of them during the lectures and breaks, and hadn't tried to harass either of them since the fight between him and Mikasa in the hallway. Eren still kept an eye out for him though, as he didn't took Reiner for a guy to give up without a fight.

 

* * *

 

Eren was home early on Friday, and while he waited for Levi to come by, he cleaned up the last bit of mess in his apartment. He really hoped the place was clean enough for Levi's high standards. It had gotten a bit colder, but the sun managed to keep his apartment nice and warm, even with most of the windows open, and the bright light made Eren even happier than he already was. He had really been looking forward to this weekend; having Levi all to himself, and spoil him while he was writing his assignment. He wouldn't mind cuddling up in bed with the raven-haired male all weekend, but this was great too. Actually, as long as he could spend time with Levi, he would be perfectly happy.

He turned on the radio while cleaning the coffee-table and turned up the volume. He couldn't remember when was the last time he had felt - or acted - like this; he jumped around in the living-room, singing and dancing to the loud music and just had a really good time. He had forgotten how much fun it was to act a little weird sometimes.

While dancing around, his phone started ringing. Eren turned down the radio a bit and answered it.

"Hello?"

"Eren, it's me," Mikasa said in the other end, "Are you busy?"

"Ehh.. I'm cleaning and stuff," Eren answered, not really understanding if she meant now or today in general.

"I just wanted to talk a little, if you don't mind," she said, and when Eren didn't protest she continued, "It's just - I know everything's good between us again, but I never got the chance to thank you. If you hadn't told me how stupid I was, last Monday, I would've just continued and messed everything up. You're a really great friend."

"Oh, eh.. but I yelled at you," Eren said, still feeling a little bad about his behaviour. He heard a knock on his front-door, and thinking it was probably Levi, he jumped up.

"Don't think about it, I'm glad you did," Mikasa reassured him, while the brunette opened the door and let the raven-haired male inside. Eren signalled that it was just a short conversation and that he would hang up soon. Levi smirked and let his leather-jacket slide down his shoulders, while sending Eren a seductive look.

"I swear to god, I'm so fucking horny, I just want to face-fuck you and let you suck me completely dry," he said as greeting, and Eren had to cover his mouth with his hand to muffle a surprised giggle.

"...Eren?" Mikasa asked through the phone, sounding a bit worried by what she'd just heard, "What are you doing?"

"Oh, ehh.. It was just a commercial from the radio. They really get more and more fucked up, eh?" he laughed nervously as Levi pinned him to the wall and started placing wet kisses on his neck. Eren had trouble focusing on what Mikasa was saying and he really just wanted to hang up. The wet muscle across his skin made his breathing a bit heavier, and it took all his strength to cover it up.

"I think I misheard it completely then," Mikasa said, but Eren was glad to hear that her voice wasn't sceptic at all, "What did it say?"

"Something about..." Eren gulped when Levi bit down on his collarbone, and told himself to ignore the raven-haired man and just focus on the conversation. It was nearly impossible, as Levi tugged on his earlobe and licked his was down the neck again. "I didn't really - ehh - listen, but... I think it said something about  _'it's so corny when you... face-block? and want to fly'_ -" Levi muffled a laugh against his shoulder, enjoying how he made the brunette incapable of forming a sentence. "No, seriously, I have no clue!" Eren finally said, his head clearing a bit up as Levi finally stopped tormenting him, and he tried to keep the pierced man's face away from his sensitive skin while finishing the conversation.

"Are you okay?" Mikasa asked worried.

"No, yes! I'm fine, but I have to go now. I just found a huge dust-bunny and I really think it needs to be cleaned very thoroughly," Eren sent Levi a teasing look and tried to push him away before he could torture him further.

"Yeah, okay," Mikasa said, still sounding worried, "I'll see you on Monday then."

"Yeah, and have a nice weekend. Bye." Eren said and was finally able to hang up and focus on the pierced man in front of him, who didn't hesitate to smash his lips against the others as soon as he had ended the conversation with the raven-haired girl.

Eren let a muffled moan escape his throat, as he finally felt those soft lips moving against his own again. He parted his lips and met Levi's tongue somewhere between their mouths.

"I've missed you," the brunette said as he pulled away for a moment to breath.

"And I've missed that loud mouth of yours," Levi said and attacked said mouth again. Pushing his pierced tongue against Eren's, the raven-haired man dominated him completely, and Eren just melted into Levi's arms, willing to let him do whatever he wanted.

"So.. how horny were you again?" Eren purred when he broke the kiss again, and sent the raven-haired a seductive look.

"Pretty damn horny," Levi's voice was dark and he kissed the brunette again before continuing, "But I haven't touched the assignment yet, so I better start working."

"Are you serious?" Eren cried, frowning and clinging onto Levi and not wanting to let go, "You fucking tease!"

"That's me!" Levi smirked and placed a soft kiss on the brunette's cheek, and finally letting go of him. He hung his jacket on a coat hook and brought his bag to the living-room, Eren right behind him. Eren decided this was probably a good time to study a bit himself, even though he felt much more like throwing himself at the raven-haired and just fool around until Levi wouldn't be able to resist.

The brunette went to the kitchen to get them something to drink, before dumping down on the couch next to the pierced man, who already looked completely focused on the assignment.

"What's the assignment about?" Eren asked while getting his marker ready and opening his book.

"Architecture," Levi grumbled, while typing, "It's a fucking pain in the ass."

"Why? I thought you liked stuff like that," Eren said surprised.

"Yeah, but I hate writing assignments about it. Architecture - and art in general - is something you should witness, not tare apart and analyse the shit out of."

"Not really following you there, that's kinda what psychology's all about." Eren huffed and looked at his notes from earlier this week.

"You better not start analyse the shit out of me," Levi said while typing hard on his keyboard.

"I don't even want to know what's going on up there," Eren assured him, nodding towards Levi's head. Levi huffed, but didn't care to come up with a comeback. In stead he threw his legs up on the couch and pushed his bare feet in under Eren's legs to keep his toes warm. Eren put down his marker and started stroking Levi's legs while studying, and a comfortable smile settled on Levi's lips while he kept hitting the keys hard.

 

* * *

 

Eren went to the kitchen to prepare a meal for Levi and himself, as promised. He wasn't very skilled in the kitchen, but judging from Levi's act at the chocolate-making class and his temper when it came to cooking, he wouldn't have space to complain about anything the brunette made him. Eren had spend a lot of time figuring out what he could cook with the highest rate of success. It felt a little silly, but he really wanted to make Levi happy, and if the pierced man was going to work on the assignment for most of the weekend, he wanted him to enjoy his breaks as much as possible. He had filled the fridge to make sure he could offer the raven-haired anything he wanted.

He had decided to make an easy casserole today, and was now chopping the vegetables, humming lightly to the sound of the radio. Pushing the vegetables away and getting ready to chop the meat, he turned on the water to clean the knife. While doing so, he heard a familiar intro to one of his temporary favourite songs - ' _Undressed' by Kim Cesarion_  - and he leaned in over the counter to turn up the volume, resulting in him angling the knife so the water splashed all over his clothes. Dropping the knife into the sink and cursing loudly, Eren pulled of his t-shirt and managed to turn up the music without any more accidents.

The sun-light shined through the window and the weather was still pretty warm, so Eren decided he didn't really need to be fully dressed while cooking. Singing aloud, he continued cleaning the knife, but dropped it once again as he suddenly felt warm hands on his hips. He jolted by the shock, but didn't say anything as Levi slowly wrapped his arms around him from behind and placed a gentle kiss on his shoulder.

"Need a hand?" the raven-haired spoke lowly against his ear, making Eren's body shiver by the warm breath and delicious voice.

"No, I think I'm good," Eren answered, hoping Levi would stay where he was.

"Need anything else?" Levi asked, voice growing even darker as he pushed his crotch against Eren's ass. It felt like a heat explosion through Eren's body, as he suddenly got very horny very fast. It felt like someone punched him in the chest, leaving him breathless for a moment as he felt his lower stomach heat up along with his blushing cheeks. He let a single pant escape his lips, and Levi caught the sound within a second, taking it as a yes and beginning to let his fingers trail up the naked torso of the brunette. The brunette could feel his pants get a little too tight, but sensing Levi having the same problem, he didn't really mind.

Levi turned him around and pushed him back against the counter before leaning in and kissing the brunette roughly. The contact was soon broken and Eren pulled Levi's t-short off just before Levi started licking and kissing Eren's neck again, pulling his hair to expose the tanned skin. Eren bit onto Levi's shoulder and played with the skin between his teeth, and they wrapped their arms around each other, pulling each other as close as possible.

Eren moaned as their clothed hard-ons rubbed against each other, making Levi smirk and kiss him again. He let the brunette taste his chilly piercing again, both of them already forgetting everything about cooking and assignments.

Wanting to pay back the favour from last weekend, Eren let his hands wander lower and pulled at the edge of Levi's pants, making the button and zipper pop up. The brunette wanted to silence the raven-haired before he could manage to spit another sassy comment, and he let himself slide down along the shorter man's body, placing a few wet kisses along the way, and pulling his pants and boxers down. Levi followed Eren's movements with his eyes, his eyes turning darker and the smirk smugger.

The raven-haired took a firm grip on the edge of the counter, leaning a bit closer and trapping Eren between the counter and his own body, almost poking his eyes out with his erection. Thinking he had the brunette exactly where he wanted him, he sent him a dark smirk. Eren's bright green eyes locked with dark grey, and grabbed onto the raven-haired's hips, making sure he couldn't make any sudden movements. Eren moved closer and started licking and sucking everywhere but the pierced man's hard-on.

"Come on, brat, that's not fair," Levi growled, his voice heavy from arousal, "Teasing is my job."

Eren bit lightly down on the sensitive skin of Levi's thigh, making him hiss and his dick twitch against Eren's cheek. Finding it so much more fun to tease that being teased, Levi moved a hand from the counter to Eren's hair and jerked the latter's head back, making Eren moan lowly and his eyes go glassy.

"You like that?" Levi smirked, slowly realizing that Eren was a bit of a masochist. Eren moaned as an answer as Levi tugged his hair back again. Levi finally had Eren right where he wanted him; on his knees, horny and practically begging for his dick.

Eren looked up at Levi with half-lidded eyes, and tried to catch Levi's precum-leaking tip with his tongue. The pierced man held back for a moment until Eren moved his hand to his dick and started stroking it painfully slow, and Levi had to grab onto the counter again to keep himself on his feet. Eren took the opportunity to finally close his lips around the tip, sucking up every single drop of precum. Levi gasped and thrusted into Eren's mouth unwillingly, not managing to hold himself back before his cock was completely buried in the brunette's warm mouth.

While slowly starting to bob his head, Eren let his nails scratch over Levi's hips and thighs, and he thrusted into the warm mouth again, not able to control the shiver Eren caused him. Eren moaned loudly around the hard-on, and Levi gasped again as the vibration went through his entire body.

" _Hnn -_ fuck, Eren," he panted, with a hoarse voice, furrowing his eyebrows. It was tempting to continue thrusting into Eren's warm mouth until he hit his climax, but he wanted to take it a step further. Gathering enough willpower to stop the brunette's delicious handling of his erection, he grabbed into the brown locks once again and pulled Eren off with a loud  _plop._  Looking down at the pretty face of his lover next to his own saliva-covered dick, Levi almost thrusted right back in again, but he held himself back and pulled the brunette up by the hair, earning him another needy moan.

He pinned the brunette against the counter again and kissed him deeply while opening his pants. Eren sighed from relief as his own hard-on finally was released and his pants and boxers fell around his feet on the floor. He kicked his pants away as Levi grabbed his butt and lifted him onto the counter and moved in between his slightly spread legs, their mouths connected in a needy and wet kiss.

Levi pulled Eren closer to the edge of the counter, lifting his left leg and splitting his legs further. Eren placed a hand on Levi's toned shoulder and placed his other hand on the counter for support. Levi broke the kiss and let his tongue trail over the brunette's lower lip before replacing his tongue with a couple of fingers. Eren locked eyes with Levi again while he licked and sucked on the latter's fingers. Levi was completely lost in those big green eyes, seducing him with the heavy eyelids and long lashes. The green eyes looked at him like he was the only thing in the word that mattered, like he would die if he didn't make him his property. Along with the wet muscle dancing against his digits, Levi let a hard pant escape his throat and let his head drop for a moment, trying to regain control over the situation. He pulled his fingers out of Eren's mouth again and smashed their lips together while starting to rub the wet digits against the brunette's entrance.

As the pierced man pushed a finger past the tight muscle, Eren broke the kiss and jerked his head back with a painful whine, shutting his eyes tight and biting his lip to stop the sound. Levi stopped moving, and brought his free hand to cup Eren's face.

" _Schh_ , Love, relax," he whispered and kissed Eren softly, hoping to distract him. The brunette kept his eyes shut, but tried to breath slowly and relax his body. Levi wrapped his free arm around his waist to support him, and hopefully help him relax. As soon as he could feel the brunette relax around his finger, he started moving again, a bit slower this time. He kept his eyes on Eren's face, looking for every little sign on unconformity. Burying his finger as deep as possible, he let Eren adjust to the feeling before starting to move it a bit. The brunette gulped and opened his eyes again, letting them connect to Levi's grey orbs. Levi almost forgot how much he wanted to fuck the living shit out of the brunette, as he focused on not hurting the other man. Eren had a weird expression on his face, looking like he wasn't sure how to take the feeling, but it didn't look like he was in pain.

Levi kissed him again and Eren let his tongue out to play once more, while the raven-haired slowly added another finger. As he could feel the brunette tense again, he lowered his back onto the counter and let Eren relax his body against the chilly surface. Goosebumps exploded all over his body, and Levi leaned down and licked the brunette's hard nipples while working the two digits. Eren moaned and Levi began fingering him. Eren arched his back just as Levi thrusted his fingers into his entrance a little harder than before, and the brunette's movement made the fingers rub against his prostate. Eren let out a panting gasp and Levi sent him a satisfied smirk, knowing exactly what had happened.

He pulled out his fingers and pulled Eren back up, adjusting him on the edge of the counter. Eren rested his hands against the counter and let the pierced man lift his legs over his elbows and grabbed onto his hips again. Eren looked at bit nervous, but Levi couldn't hold back any more. He locked eyes with the brunette again, sending him a promise to take good care of him, and pushed his still saliva-covered dick against the entrance.

Eren let his head fall back and concentrated on breathing, as he could feel Levi penetrate him slowly. He had thought it would hurt a lot more, and the slower Levi entered him, the more Eren wanted him to fuck him. He let a frustrated moan escape his lips, and to his pleasure, he felt Levi thrust the rest of his length into him.

"Look at me," Levi purred and leaned forward to grab a bit of Eren's soft skin between his teeth. Eren hissed at the thrilling pain and jerked his head forward, biting onto Levi's ear, where he started sucking at his earlobe. Levi breathed out in pleasure and started thrusting slowly into the brunette. Eren gasped against his ear and hissed at the slow pace, wanting more. He grabbed onto Levi's back with one hand, the other hand still supporting his weight against the counter. He dug his fingers into the soft black locks, pulling a bit and nibbling at the ear. Levi tightened the grip on his hips and pulled him closer while thrusting a bit harder into him. As the tip of his dick brushed over Eren's prostate, his arms went limb from the pleasure, and his back hit the counter-surface. Levi stopped for a moment to assure himself that his lover was okay, but before he could manage to ask, Eren yelled out with a needy voice; _"More!"_

Eren was going mad from arousal and grabbed onto his twitching and leaking dick, prepared to finish off by himself if Levi didn't start fucking him soon. Levi grabbed onto Eren's hand around his dick before he started stroking and held it in a tight grip, and stopping the brunette from jerking off. Eren whined desperately, and Levi finally started thrusting again, this time a bit harder but still painfully slow. Eren tried to thrust into his own hand as the slow thrusting was like pure torture on his trembling body, heating more and more, making it impossible for him to breath normally.

"S-stop tormenting me, Levi," he whined under his panting breath, "I can't take it!"

Levi leaned back a bit at thrusted hard into the shaking brunette on the counter. Eren moaned loudly and arched his back away from the surface. He pulled out slowly again with a lustful smirk on his face as he watched Eren whine in front of him again, desperately trying to jerk off. He waited for another desperate sound to escape his lover's swollen lips, before he thrusted back in hard, changing the desperate sound to a pleasure-filled growl. Eren sent him an angry glare through glassy eyes, and Levi began thrusting a little faster again.

Eren started panting harder, finally feeling the tip of Levi's hard dick grind over his sweet spot over and over again.

"Fuck, Eren - stop being so fucking sexy," Levi growled and shut his eyes, focusing on not finishing off right then and there. The sight of the brunette panting, squirming and moaning in front of him almost pushed him over the edge, but he was absolutely settled on letting Eren finish off before him.

"Fuck -  _ahh_  - Levi! S-stop being -  _haah_  - so -  _nhh - good!_ " Eren moaned in return, yelling louder and louder for every word he spoke. Levi stopped for a moment and hit his lower lip, focusing on breathing deeply, before he pulled out of Eren and climbed onto the counter as well. Eren sent him a disappointed look before Levi thrusted back in, and Eren moaned loudly again. Hovering over his lover, Levi used his entire weight to thrust hard into the brunette, who panted harder and harder for each thrust.

Eren tried to stroke his leaking dick again, wanting to reach his climax, but Levi took a firm grip on his erection again, making it impossible for the brunette to stimulate himself. Eren couldn't take it much more; he was panting harder than ever, feeling closer to madness than to release, and while Levi's hard dick kept rubbing his prostate and pushing him closer to the edge, he couldn't reach it due to the firm grip on his own dick.

Levi wanted to finish off himself as well, but he wasn't done with the brunette yet. He wanted to make him his own, to mark him, to posses him, to be all he could think about. He pulled out again, still holding onto Eren's desperately twitching cock, and Eren cried out again as the burning pleasure left his entrance. Levi pulled him up onto his lap and moved forward a bit, pinning Eren against the window now. Eren moaned loudly from the cold glass touching his hot skin, and another explosion of goosebumps ran over his body. Levi leaned down and brushed his teeth over the erect nipple again, before biting down, and making Eren scream his name.

With his last sane thought, Levi prayed for the window to hold, as he thusted into the brunette again; this time he wouldn't pull out before they were both in Nirvana. Eren held onto Levi with all he had, letting the raven-haired man fuck him as hard as he could manage. Panting a lot harder himself, Levi finally started stroking Eren's aching cock, ready to push him over the edge.

 _"Fuck - ahh - haah! - AHH! - LEVI!"_ Eren moaned with a voice that wasn't his own, as he came harder that ever. He shot white seed all over Levi's hand and his own abdomen, completely loosing his breath as his entire body tightened around Levi, pushing the latter over the edge as well.

 _"Fuck! - Eren!"_ he moaned loudly, arching his back and thrusting as hard as his trembling body could manage, into Eren's tight hole, filling him with his load. Eren's vision was completely blurry, but he couldn't care less as the aftershock ran through his body over and over again. He had forgotten how to breath and didn't realize before he had to take a deep breath to keep himself from passing out. Levi held onto him tight while trying to catch his own breath, both of them covered in sweat, saliva and sperm.

"You're not gonna cook anything inhere before cleaning the whole goddamn room," Levi said, as soon as he managed to use his words again.

"Do I look like someone who wants to cook anyway?" Eren asked, looking down at his own naked body, still placed against the window and on Levi's dick.

"Just sayin'," Levi said, and pulled out, resulting in his sperm running down Eren's butt-cheeks and thighs. "Christ, why is sex so fucking disgusting as soon as it's over?"

"Let's take a bath together," Eren mumbled, still high from Levi's treatment. He wrapped his arms and legs around the raven-haired male and let him drag both of them back to the floor. Levi wrapped his arms around the brunette as soon as he was back on his feet, and they enjoyed holding each other for a moment, only sound in the kitchen was the radio.

"Let's go and grab a burger or something after the shower," Levi stated, not ready to eat anything from the soiled kitchen any time soon.

"Are you sure? 'cause I can make us something after cleaning the counter," Eren asked,even though he wouldn't mind chilling for the rest of the evening. Being fucked like that really took a lot of energy.

"Positive," Levi said and placed a soft kiss on Eren's lips before dragging him to the shower and making sure he was clean - after Levi-standards.


	13. Chapter 13

Eren was willing to completely give up on eating that day, if it meant he could cuddle up with Levi on the couch until they passed out, but Levi wouldn't allow that. After their escapades in the kitchen, the brunette was tired and over-emotional towards the raven-haired and he clung onto him, kissed and hugged him all the time. Levi sent him an annoyed glare from time to time, but the truth was, that he really enjoyed it. He had missed Eren a lot the previous week, and he wished he didn't have to worry about the assignment, and in stead could spend all his time on Eren.

While getting dressed after their very long bath together, Levi leaned in and placed a soft kiss on Eren's lips. Eren dropped his socks to wrap his arms around Levi again, deepening the kiss.

"Stop being so goddamn cute," Levi whispered against the brunette's lips, and let their eyes meet. Eren couldn't remember ever seeing Levi's grey eyes with such a caring and soft expression, and he decided to kiss him again as an answer. Levi hummed lowly against the kiss and nuzzled Eren's dark locks before cutting the contact. "Come on, brat, let's go get something to eat."

"Aww, can't we just cuddle up on the couch instead?" Eren whined, not wanting to leave the apartment.

"Nope, I'm starving and I have to get back to the assignment soon. Unless you want me to eat you up instead?" Levi smirked and let his hand trail down the brunette's torso.

"Fuck no, I'm so not ready to go again!" Eren screamed at pushed the wandering hand away with a tired giggle as Levi kissed his neck, "Are you drying to kill me?"

"Maybe," Levi smirked and enjoyed the warm, wet smell of his lover as he buried his face in the crook of his neck. Eren sighed happily and nuzzled his face against Levi's moist locks before the raven-haired pulled away and they got dressed.

Levi managed to convince Eren into going to a café nearby to eat together, even though Eren felt like he was way too tired - and way to clingy - to go out with the pierced man. But he wanted to make Levi happy and maybe the fresh air would wake him up a bit.

It had gotten darker outside and both of them zipped up their jackets to keep them warm in the early autumn-night. Levi pulled his collar up to keep his neck warm, and Eren grabbed his hand and filled the space between his fingers with his own. Levi glared down at the hands and lifted his pierced eyebrow at Eren, who just sent him an innocent smile in return.

It was not like he minded holding the brunette's hand at all, but it seemed a bit out of character, that Eren suddenly wanted to hold his hands and be all lovey-dovey on open street. Well, he had made it clear to the brunette, that he wouldn't force him to do anything, and wanted to let Eren pick the pace, but he hadn't thought Eren would be comfortable with holding his hand already. He was very glad nonetheless, and squeezed the warm hand before the started walking towards a café Eren knew, nearby.

Eren seemed lost in his own thoughts, smiling like a fool and humming a jolly tone. Levi studied the brunette and couldn't help but smile to himself. Eren always looked cute but this was absolutely adorable. There was no doubt this was pure; Eren didn't try to hide anything, this was exactly how he felt. He wasn't shy or embarrassed about it. And what was even better - it was Levi that made him feel like this. The raven-haired could feel the warmth spread in his heart, and promised both himself and Eren that be would do his very best to always make the brunette this happy.

"Hey, Eren," he mumbled and tightened his grip on the other man's hand. Eren turned his head to look at him with a goofy smile painted over his face. "Let me treat you, okay?"

"What? Why?" Eren asked shocked.

"Because you were already cooking for me when I...  _distracted you_ ," Levi picked his words carefully and spoke the last words in a playful tone, making Eren blush. The brunette had completely forgotten that he was in the middle of cooking.

"No, I should pay!" Eren insisted, "I promised to cook for you if you spend the weekend at my place. I shouldn't have let you distract me - well, I'm glad I did, but..."

Levi muffled a laugh as Eren's cheeks turned more and more red while he spoke. The brunette stopped up and wrapped his arms around Levi's neck and kissed him to shut himself up. Surprised, Levi wrapped his arms around Eren waist and returned the kiss. "Please just let me pay?" Eren asked, hoping to convince the raven-haired with soft kisses.

"Nope, I'm paying," Levi said, not letting Eren sweep him off his feet, and grabbed the brunette's hand again before he started walking again, dragging Eren along. Eren sighed in defeat, and made a mental note to himself that he should make a really delicious meal the next day to make up for the lack of food today. Maybe he should even make brunch while Levi was asleep, and wake him up with breakfast in bed. He looked at his feet and tried to hide his smile. He really hoped Levi would be happy.

They arrived at the café and since it was a bit late, there were almost no other costumers. Eren found a table in the corner by the window, and Levi sat down in front of him and looked at the menu. Eren tried to focus on the menu as well, but his eyes kept searching back to Levi's face. He kicked himself mentally for falling in so deep; it was almost embarrassing to be so madly in love with the other man.

"Quit starring at me," Levi said without looking away from the menu, "If you're not ready to order in to minutes, I'm just gonna eat without you."

Eren looked at the menu again, trying harder to focus. He didn't really care what he ordered, as long as he could enjoy the meal with the raven-haired. Oh god, was that really what it'd come to? Not caring about anything as long as he had Levi?

"Ehh, what are you having?" Eren asked, having trouble deciding what he wanted.

"Pasta Concarne, I think," Levi answered and stroke his non-excisting beard as he decided if that was really what he wanted, "What about you?"

"I was thinking about ordering the Mexican Cheese Burger, but your choice sounds really good as well," Eren said, studying the pasta.

"Just order the burger, I'll let you taste my dish if you want to," Levi said and snapped his fingers to attract the waiters attention. Eren giggled at the bold act, and Levi sent him a smirk as a waiter approached their table. Levi added two beers to their order, and the waiter thanked them and told them she'd be back with the beverage in a moment.

"What's the occasion?" Eren asked as they received their beers.

"Our first date," Levi answered and took a large sip of the cold beer.

"Our first date? Then what about the chocolate-class?" Eren asked, and took a sip as well. The cold beer did good to his tired body.

"I told you that wasn't a date," Levi said, remembering his exact words back in the class, when Eren had asked if it was a date.

"Yeah, but... It could have been!" Eren insisted, as he felt like it  _had_  been a date, thinking about how their relationship was now.

"If you don't want to celebrate our first date, then give me your beer. I can drink alone, you know."

"No!" Eren yelled, and pulled his beer out of Levi's reach, "No, let's celebrate our first date. Cheers!" He offered the pierced man a warm smile, and Levi returned it. The latter let a finger run along the brunette's hand, still not wanting to force him to do anything. Eren let his fingers tangle Levi's, and let his head rest in his free hand as they studied each others eyes.

During the meal, they talked about Levi's assignment and Eren did his best to help him even though he knew next to nothing about architecture. Levi fed him almost half of his meal, finding Eren's puppy-eyes irresistible, and Eren fed him half of his meal in return. They were happy the café was almost empty, and the waiters were busy chatting behind the counter to notice their cheesy behaviour. Eren wasn't sure he would act like this if there were more people around, but it felt like they were all alone in the world right now, and he couldn't get enough of the raven-haired man in front of him.

Levi paid for the meal, and they wrapped their jackets around them before heading back. Eren caught Levi's hand again as soon as they were outside and let his thumb brush over the pierced man's wrist. He longed to get back home and cuddle up on the couch again. He knew Levi would have to work on his assignment, but if he was lucky, the other man wouldn't mind cuddling while he worked and Eren could play Xbox for a couple of hours. He should probably study as well, but there was no way he would be able to focus today.

After taking a few steps, Eren realized it had gotten even colder while they had eaten, and he stopped to zip up his jacket. He reached for Levi's hand again, when he heard a familiar scream from the other side of the road.

"Eren! Levi!" Hanji yelled and ran towards them, dragging Erd behind her, without checking for cars. Eren pulled his hand back into his pockets fast, earning him a cocked eyebrow from Levi, but he didn't say anything.

"What are you doing here?" Eren asked the other brunette, while Levi greeted the blonde man.

"What are you talking about, Erd lives nearby and we were just on our way back to his place," Hanji reminded him and squeezed Erd's hand, "What about you guys? You spend an awful lot of time together, don't you?" She winked at the brunette, who blushed a bit and hoped he could blame it on the chilly wind.

"No!" Eren yelled, loud enough for all three of them to turn their attention towards him, "I mean, you know, we were just gonna play video-games at my place, and.. ehh.."

Hanji sent him a puzzled look, but before she could ask, Levi stepped in; "We were just on our way to 7-11 to buy a pack of Red bull. We're gonna play video-games all night."

"What about the assignment?" Erd asked, knowing about Levi's plans for the weekend and the deadline.

"I needed a break, so I came to annoy the shitty brat," Levi said with his usual poker-face. That was answer enough for both Hanji and Erd, and after staying to chat for a few minutes, they decided to get back to Erd's place, and leave the two men.

"Thank you," Eren mumbled, feeling ashamed at his own behaviour. It felt so wrong to pretend nothing was going on between them as soon as he had seen their friends. Especially after the day they had spend together. He hadn't been able to take his eyes and hands off Levi from the moment he set his feet in his apartment, and now he wouldn't even admit they spend a lot of time together.

"Yeah..." Levi just said, and put his hands in his pockets. It was obvious he tried to hide behind a cold façade, but Eren could see the hurt in his eyes. Eren felt desperate and guilty, and the look in Levi's eyes felt like a knife in his heart.

"No, wait, don't be mad at me!" Eren yelled, and pulled the raven-haired's hands out of his pockets to hold them, "I'm so sorry, I just... I was just surprised, that's all. It's not like... It's not like I don't want to be seen with you!"

Eren wasn't even sure if it was a lie or not any more. He was so confused, but he really couldn't handle if he had hurt Levi, not after this afternoon, not today, not ever.

"I just don't get it, they're our friends! I didn't ask you to tell them we're dating or anything, but why were you afraid to tell them we decided to spend the weekend together while I write my assignment?" Levi asked, and pulled his hands out of Eren's hands.

"I-I didn't mean to! She's just so nosey, I didn't know what to say. I really am sorry, please forgive me," Eren begged, stepping closer to the raven-haired. Grey eyes locked with pleading bright green, and Levi sighed and pulled Eren into a tight hug.

"You know, I wouldn't care if it weren't because I like you so much," Levi hummed against the brunette's ear, while Eren returned the hug.

"I know, I like you too," Eren whispered, thankful he didn't ruin the evening.

"I'm serious, Eren," Levi said and pulled away to lock eyes with the other man again, "You're very special."

"I'm in love with you." Eren couldn't catch the words before they had left his lips. This time, he was sure Levi heard them, unlike five days earlier, when he had said the almost exact same words, regretted it as soon as they were out there, and had been lucky enough that Levi had been asleep and hadn't heard it. But there was no way back now, no way out. Levi's expression was impossible to read, and Eren was about to panic, when -

"I'm in love with you too." Levi sent him a kind smile and pulled him into a tight hug again. They held onto each other for a few moments, melting together in the chilly night, before heading back to Eren's apartment, hand in hand.

Eren threw himself at the couch and made space for Levi to lean against his chest while the raven-haired grabbed his laptop. Eren turned on the TV and Xbox, settling on playing what was already on, as Levi leaned his back against his torso and began tapping hard on the keyboard again. Eren cursed loudly while playing  _Red Dead Redemption,_  and Levi smirked and commented on how bad he was at the game.

"Focus on your assignment, Mister!" Eren yelled, when Levi had pointed out for the seventeenth time, how bad the brunette was at taming a horse.

"No, I can't concentrate any more," Levi stated and placed the laptop at the coffee-table. He sat up and moved at bit closer to Eren, who had moved to the edge of the couch in frustration over the game. As soon as Eren caught a new horse and tried to tame it, Levi leaned in and placed a soft kiss on his neck, resulting in the brunette completely forgetting what he was doing, and the horse ran away.

"Wow, you're an asshole," Eren stated, and threw the controller away in frustration.

"And yet, you're still in love with me," Levi smirked and pushed Eren back against the couch, smashing their lips against each other. Eren surrendered and pulled Levi closer with a happy sound against the kiss.

"Wanna play with me?" Eren asked, as Levi pulled away from the kiss.

"Can't get enough, eh?" Levi smirked and sent the brunette a teasing look.

"I meant a video-game. But no, I can't," Eren teased back, and tossed a controller to Levi, as he got up to change the game.

"You really want be to kick your ass?" Levi asked, stretching his back to shake off the drowsiness.

"No, I think we should play a game where we need to work together," Eren answered, and rummaged through his games, "How... about... Lego Batman?"

"Wow, you could have told me you were ten before I fucked you," Levi huffed at Eren's proposal.

"Come on, it's fun!" Eren insisted, and slapped Levi on the shoulder.

"Fine, if it makes you happy," Levi mumbled, and looked away, as Eren bumped down next to him and cuddled up next to the raven-haired, leaning his back against the toned chest.

It turned out to be a very relaxing and funny game, and Levi had to admit that he actually liked it. Eren had moved in between the raven-haired's legs, his back still against his chest, and Levi had wrapped his legs around the brunette's waist, while they played.

"Levi," Eren suddenly asked, "What should I call you?"

"May I refer to the first part of that sentence," Levi said coldly.

"No, that's not what I meant," Eren continued after thinking for a moment, "I mean like... friend, boyfriend, lover, something?"

"What do you want to call me?"

"What do you call me?"

Levi thought about it for a moment, "Shitty brat."

"You call me 'shitty brat'?" Eren asked in disbelief.

"Yeah," Levi said as if it was the most natural thing in the world, "If I talk about you to Hanji or Erwin, I call you 'the shitty brat'."

"You're crazy!" Eren stated, and sighed.

"What do you mean? You didn't want me to tell them anything anyway, so what's wrong with 'the shitty brat'?" Levi asked curiously, and paused the game to look at Eren.

"I was just thinking," Eren started and placed the controller in his lap, "I don't think it's fair to pretend nothing's going on between us, so I was just thinking - if we told our friends  _at some point_ , then, what should I call you."

"Like friend, boyfriend or lover?" Levi asked and let his thumb brush over Eren's cheek.

"Yeah, something like that," Eren said and blushed a bit.

"What do you want to call me?" Levi asked again.

"All of it?" Eren asked, sending the raven-haired a smile.

"No matter which you chose, I'll do my best to be everything you want." Levi leaned down and kissed the brunette, who straightened his neck to deepen the kiss.

After kissing for a few minutes, they decided to shut down the game, turn off the light, and move to the bedroom. Levi attacked him again as soon as they laid down in bed, and even though he was tired, Eren couldn't say no to those soft lips and skillful tongue. He let Levi work his way down his naked body, and it felt like he was on fire as the arousal boiled in his body again. Just before Levi reached his attention-needing crotch, Eren thought about how lucky he was. How lucky he was that he met Hanji, who's neighbour was this amazing man, who gave him courage to love him in return. He had never been so happy.

 

* * *

 

Eren got up early and sneaked out of bed, while Levi was still asleep. He had promised himself to surprise Levi with breakfast on bed, and he couldn't wait to cuddle back in bed with a tray filled with brunch-plates and coffee.

The bacon got a little burned, but other than that, was he pretty proud of the meal he had managed to put together. I looked quite good, and he had managed to get it all done at the same time so that it was still warm when we carried the tray back to the bedroom. Levi was still sleeping, and after placing the tray on a night-stand next to the bed, Eren leaned down and kissed him until he opened his grey eyes.

"Morning," Levi yawned, and rubbed his eyes.

"I've made breakfast," Eren beamed and placed the tray between them on the mattress.

"Wow, it looks really good," Levi said surprised, "Did you clean the kitchen before you made this?"

"Of course!" Eren said with an offended tone.

"Are you sure?" Levi asked and got out of bed.

"Are you gonna seriously gonna check? Don't you trust me?" Eren whined, pretending to be hurt.

"I'm just gonna take a piss, but now that you mention it, I might as well take a look on my way back," Levi smirked and walked out the bedroom, butt-naked. Eren looked after the gorgeous body as the pierced man disappeared behind the bathroom-door. The brunette adjusted himself and leaned back against the wall, before taking a sip of his coffee. He could hear Levi move around in the apartment, before he returned to the bedroom.

"You actually cleaned it," he said with a surprised tone in his voice, as he leaned down to pull his phone out of his pants, and pull his boxers back on.

"Of course I did, I don't use sperm as seasoning to my cooking," Eren huffed and took another sip of his coffee.

Levi sat back down on the edge of the bed, and kissed Eren's knee as an apology for his distrust. He took a sip of his own coffee, and exchanged warm smiles with the brunette, before turning his attention to his phone. He hadn't checked it for messages since he arrived at Eren's apartment the previous day, and thought it was about time to answer if anyone had cared to text him. As he opened a message from their brown-haired friend, he huffed which attracted Eren's attention.

"What is it?" the brunette asked, and took a bite of his toast.

"It's Hanji," Levi answered and yawned again.

"What about her?"

"She wants us to go on a double-date."

"A what?" Eren asked, his eyes widening.

"A double-date," Levi repeated and looked up at the brunette. He was met with a horrified look, and a confused frown grew on the raven-haired's face, "Wha-"

"You told her!?" Eren yelled with a furious look in his eyes, "You fucking told her!?"

"What? No!" Levi yelled back with a confused frown.

"I can't fucking believe it! You promised me, you  _promised_  me, that you wouldn't force me to do anything! You promised me to keep it a secret until I was ready!" Eren slammed his hand against the wall, as his bright green eyes turned dark from anger.

"Eren, calm the fuck down!" Levi yelled and got on his feet, "I haven't said any-fucking-thing!"

"You're such an asshole!" Eren screamed desperately.

"Shut up for a moment! I haven't told her anything, I have actually lied to her for the past weekend for your sake!" Levi raised his voice to over-shout Eren's loud insults.

"Then explain to me how she fucking knows, 'cause I sure as hell haven't told her!" Eren screamed and got up on his knees.

"Have you thought about how fucking loud you are as soon as I touch your dick? She heard you last weekend when I gave you a head! You screamed like a fucking virgin, I wouldn't be surprised if the entire fucking dorm heard you!" Levi sneered, and narrowed his eyes.

"You could've lied to her!" Eren yelled after the words had settled in his mind.

"I did! But she's not fucking stupid, of course she knows what's going on!"

"I can't believe this!" Eren whined and hid his face in his hands.

"No, me neither," Levi growled with a dangerous tone in his voice, "I can't believe you freak out like this, when you told me you wanted to tell our friends about us, last night. I can't believe you ask me to lie to my friends for your sake, when you're not even honest to me and obviously don't trust me."

Eren looked up and saw Levi pulling his pants on and grabbing his t-shirt.

"I don't know what the fuck's wrong with you, Eren," he stated coldly, "but I'm not gonna spend another minute here. You're so fucking two-faced!"

With those words, Levi left the room and Eren could hear him gather his belongings before slamming the front-door behind him. Eren was as frozen to the spot, trying to figure out what had just happened. Had he just fucked it all up because of his stupid insecurities?

Finally able to move again, his body exploded in anger. He picked up the tray and smashed it against the wall, resulting in an explosion of eggs and coffee, and the sound of shattering plates filled the room. He curled up on the bed as the tears filled his eyes before streaming down his face. He had ruined everything. He had been happier than ever, and he had ruined it. Levi was right about him being two-faced, but the worst part was that he actually hadn't meant to freak out like that. He wanted to keep his word from last night, and actually admit that they were together, but as soon as the raven-haired had mentioned that Hanji knew about them, his body had acted on it's own. He had wanted to laugh at Hanji's proposal and just refuse to go on a double-date, and then cuddle up with Levi and tell him how wonderful he was and how happy he made him. He had wanted to spend the weekend together and then on Monday, tell his friends about him and Levi. Maybe he wouldn't be ready to show their relationship off to the entire university, but he felt like he could overcome his insecurities if Levi was by his side.

But that was not what happened. He had let his fears take over. Crying silently against his pillow, he did what he did best; convinced himself that this was for the best. After all, his first priority was to fit in and never stand out.

At the bus-stop, Levi had trouble holding back his tears. He knew he had acted wrong and he shouldn't have yelled at Eren, but the look in Eren's eyes as he showed his true colour, had just hurt too much. The raven-haired was still confused about what Eren actually felt, but it didn't matter. He hated himself for letting the brunette get under his skin like that, and he should have seen it come. He knew Eren didn't play his cards honest, and he should have held back. He knew Eren wasn't ready to be open towards their friends, but he had really hoped he meant it last night, when he said he wanted their friends to know  _'at some point'_. He let a single tear fall as the bus finally arrived, and he got on while hiding his face behind his bangs. He should never have talked to the brunette in the first place. He had been hurt again, and abandoned again. It was his own fault. He hated himself.


	14. Chapter 14

Levi sat at the back-seat of the car and looked out the window at the landscape of his new home. He had turned six half a year ago, and he had been looking forward to his first school-day ever since. Until his parents told him he wasn't attending a normal school. They had told him only a couple of weeks ago, that he was going to attend a boarding school.

He looked at all the trees they passed, thinking about how many miles they had driven since the last time he saw a house. The boarding school seemed to be in the middle of nowhere, which didn't exactly help on his nerves. He knew he was going to be far away from his parents, but this was far away from everything.

Levi sighed and looked down at his pale legs, dangling over the edge of the seat and not nearly long enough to reach the floor of the car. He hoped his parents would change their mind, but judging by their happy conversation in the front-seat, it didn't seem like he would be that lucky.

The car turned and they drove into a big yard in front of a large building made of grey stone. Levi didn't even care to feel curious now that they were here, and he just kept his eyes at his shoes, not willing to leave the car before his mother pulled him out with a sheepish smile, telling him everything would be okay.

"Come on, sweety," she said with a soft voice, "It's not like we're leaving you - you're just going to live here until Dad and I get promoted and don't have to travel all the time."

"I don't want to..." Levi mumbled and refused to look at his mother.

"You don't have a choice, Levi," she said in a firm tone, and pulled him away from the car. He looked at his shoes, kicking up dust from the yard as she dragged him along.

They were welcomed by the headmaster at the entrance; a tall thin woman, with short grey hair in a tight knot and not a single strand of hair or fold on her clothes were off. Levi was still not happy about the whole thing, but he was a very polite boy, and offered his hand and bowed slightly for the tall woman. She studied him for a moment and said something to his mother about  _him fitting in quite well,_ before she showed them to his new room. Most of the rooms were double-rooms, meant for two students, but Levi got a single room. It was very small, but there was a large window with view over the forest surrounding the school. His father brought his luggage to the room, and they said goodbye to their son. Levi wanted them to stay a bit longer, at least until he felt a little more comfortable, but they told him that they had to get back home for a business-trip early the next day.

Levi sat in the window and watched them drive away, feeling very lonely.

It took him a couple of days to settle down in his room. Even though his parents used to travel a lot, he wasn't used to be alone. Most of the time, one of them were always home when the other was away, and if both of them had to go on a trip at the same time, they would find a nanny to take care of him. But now he was all alone. He didn't knew anyone at the school, and most of the other students seemed very closed off.

He spend most of his free-time in his room, looking out at the trees in front of his window, where he sat and drew. Most of the time he drew pictures of his parents and him, imagining how he wished they could be together all the time. He began to wonder if he had done something bad, since they had sent him away like that. Was he a bad son? Didn't they want him?

After a couple of weeks, he started feeling a bit more comfortable at the boarding school. Maybe it was the fact that he was getting used to the new place and the low mood that seemed to fill the building, more than actually feeling like it was a place he could call home. He had found his daily pace at the place; get up, brush teeth, get dressed and go to class. Spend time alone in his room, have dinner, spend more time alone and go to bed. He lost track of how long he had been there, but the trees had gone from bright green till yellow-ish, and the pile of drawings was building up in his closet.

It was about then he realized why the school was heavy with the cramped atmosphere he had felt since the first day he sat his feet in class.

He had overslept due to being homesick the night before, and he ran down the hallways to get to class. Hoping the teacher was a bit late as well, he slammed the door to the class-room up, resulting in everybody turning their heads and looking at him. He bowed to the teacher and apologized for being late and disturbing the lecture. He went to his seat, but the teacher called him to the blackboard and told him that he wouldn't be let off that easy. While she gave him a long speech about how he had disturbed the entire class and broken everybody's concentration, he studied her with heavy steel-grey eyes. She looked a bit like the headmaster up close, except her hair was bright red but exactly as stiff and groomed as the headmaster's. She was a lot younger but spoke in the same expressionless tone as all the other teachers at the school. He wasn't sure if she was actually talking to him or if she used him to set an example for the rest of the students.

"Miss Anne, I really am sorry for disturbing," he said when she was done scolding him.

"That wont do," she said with the same expressionless voice, "Place your hands on the desk."

Levi looked at her with a puzzled look, but when she looked at him with a dangerous glare, he did as told.

"Hold onto the edge," she ordered and he moved his thumbs to the underside of the desk, the rest of his fingers still on the surface. She grabbed the pointer to the blackboard and slammed it over his fingers. He screamed and pulled his hands back, large tears forming in his eyes. "I didn't tell you to move your hands yet," she spoke in a venomous tone, and Levi placed his sore hands at the desk again. He closed his eyes and bit his tongue, too proud to scream again. He could feel the other students unshared attention on him and hear their shocked gasps as the pointer flickered through the air and hit his fingers over and over again. When she finally told him to go back to his desk, he breathed out with a relieved gasp and moved back without saying a word. He refused to cry or show any sign of pain during the class, but as soon as they had a break, he hid in the bathrooms, crying silently while studying his hands. He had scratches on most of his fingers and dried blood lingered by his nails and knuckles. He almost couldn't move them properly and he couldn't imagine how he would be able to hold onto a pencil any time soon.

He had made sure not to oversleep since that day, but the words had apparently spread amongst the teachers and even though the rest of the students were punished as hard as him every time they made a mistake, the teachers seemed fond of using him to state an example. Overslept? Use Levi to show what happens. Forgot to do your homework? Use Levi to show what happens. Spilling food or water in the class-room? Use Levi to show what happens.

He often wondered why it had to be him. He wouldn't wish this upon his worst enemy, but  _why him?_  Maybe because they knew his parents weren't home very often, and he couldn't call them and tell what was going on. To be honest, he wouldn't have called them even if he had the opportunity. He wanted to tell them face to face and make sure no one heard him. Thanksgiving was just around the corner, and his parents had promised him he could come home for the holiday. They had made sure none of them had to leave, so they could spend time together, and he really looked forward to coming home and hopefully never return to the school.

But when the time came and he told them what happened at the boarding school, they just looked at him with indulgent expressions on their faces.

"Now, Levi, that's not a very nice thing to say," his mother said and smiled at him. He looked at her with puzzled eyes while she stroke his black locks, "I know you want to come home, but you shouldn't lie about stuff like that."

"B-but Mom -" Levi breathed sharply, tears forming in his eyes, "I'm not lying."

"It's a very prestigious school," his father said, "Of course they don't treat their students like that."

"But..." Levi said again, and showed his bruised and scratched hands and a large bruise on his lower back, "They did this to me... Because I overslept a-and... I spilled water in the class-room." His voice was shaking and he had trouble breathing normally.

"Are you fighting with the other boys?" his mother asked and sent him a firm look.

"No!" Levi yelled, desperate for his parents understanding. He ran to his room and cried silently.

He tried telling his parents about the teachers punishment every time he was home visiting, but after every single holiday and vacation he found himself back at the boarding school, getting punished in front of the other students for every little mistake he made.

At the age of eight, the students had to clean their rooms themselves, and since Levi still had a single-room, it was up to him to keep it clean. He tried to keep a low profile every time he left his room, hoping if he didn't stand out, the teachers might forget about him being their favourite object for punishment. The headmaster inspected the rooms herself, checking every corner and surface for dust or dirt, and she was as strict as all the other teachers combined. She had never spoken a word to him, until the first time she came to inspect his room. He had never learned to clean his room back home, since his parents had hired a maid as soon as they knew they would be travelling a lot, and she always took care of all the cleaning in the house.

Nonetheless, he had done the best he could. He had used a broom to sweep the floor and placed his books and homework in neat little stacks and made his bed. After she had discovered the layer of dust on every surface in the room, she had sent him a dangerous look and hissed at him to follow her to her office immediately. He knew where this was going, but he had never imagined this kind of punishment; She had held his head under water till he was about to pass out, and spanked him so hard that he couldn't lie on his back all night. All while telling him that he was a dirty pig, someone who shouldn't be allowed inside the house as long as he couldn't perform a simple cleaning-duty.

The situation had repeated itself the next time she came to inspect his room fourteen days later. He had tried to clean up all the dust, but she found a piece of trash next to his trash-can, resulting in another visit to her office.

The third time she came to inspect his room, he had cleaned it every day for the past week to make sure it was absolutely spotless. It worked until she opened the lowest drawer in his desk and discovered his mess of papers, pencils and other drawing equipment. She tuned towards him slowly, her mouth tightening until it was reduced to a thin line. This time she asked him to bring his paintbrushes and colours with him to her office. He got the usual punishment and she kept his equipment. She told him, that since he had been in her office three times in a row, she had to punish him even further, and since drawing seemed to be all he cared about, she would confiscate everything he had for the purpose. Letting his creativity flow and dream about better times, had been the closest thing to a friend he had had in the two years he had spent at the boarding school. Of course he had to do his homework, so she couldn't confiscate his pencils and markers, but it wasn't the same. He hid his drawings in a box under his bed, but now they were all flat and grey, just like his life. He felt even more alone now.

Never wanting to get his last pencils taken away, and hoping to get his equipment back, he began spending an unhealthy amount of time cleaning his room. He would clean ever single part of his room over and over again, brushing imaginary dirt away from the floor and gathering non-excisting dust from the shelves. In the summer, when the sun shined through the window he would sit and watch the dust dance in the bright light, waiting for it to touch the surface of his desk and clean it right away. He never got his precious colours and paintbrushes back.

At the age of ten, he gave up on trying to explain to his parent about what went on at the school. He had spent four years at the boarding school, and he couldn't remember how many times he had begged for his parents to let him come home again. He stopped coming home to visit them on his vacations, and they never really questioned why, thinking it was probably just puberty.

At the age of twelve, he didn't show any sign of anger, pain or fear when punished. He was reduced to a shallow body without feelings, always doing what he was told and still a favourite victim for his teachers punishment. He counted the days to his last day of school, dreaming about what he wanted to do and where he wanted to go.

At the age for fourteen, he graduated from the boarding school with the best grades in his class. He could finally go home and live with his parents again. He was old enough to be alone when they left for a business-trip and he could go back to his old friends and his old neighbourhood. But he didn't. Instead he backed a few belongings in a bag and left the rest at the boarding school, and he moved to the city. He didn't contact his parents and without any money, he spend fourteen days on a bench in a park before he finally met someone who was willing to offer him a room if he could get a job and pay rent. It worked for about two months, until Levi suddenly couldn't take living under someone else's roof any more. Along with the rent he paid, he had duties and should always clean up after himself. It felt like a prison, just like the boarding school. He needed to be free, he needed to only do what he felt like doing, and one day while his new friend was at work, Levi ripped the entire place for everything it was worth and sold it to a pawn-shop before moving to another city.

He found a cheap apartment and started working at a burger-bar. He still hadn't talked to his parents since he graduated, and one night alone in his apartment, he promised himself to never see them again. He had gone through hell for ten years, and they had called him a lair for 'making up stories to come back home'. He hated them. He was an orphan now. They had abandoned him and now he did the same thing.

One day he had walked around restless in the city and had met a gorgeous man who had bought him a beer and offered to show him the city. Levi had been fascinated by the piercings, tattoos and all the leather and studs, the man wore and he was incredibly kind and attractive. Being isolated from everything at the boarding school, he had never seen anything like it and the same night, he got his eyebrow-piercing. He met with the attractive man a few times, and the man introduced him to a lot of his friends who were just as intriguing and attractive as his new friend. It was about this time, he realized that he had never had any interest in relationships with girls and he started having sex with almost everyone who offered him a kind smile and a night spend in a caring embrace. But nothing could shake the loneliness he felt.

New piercings and tattoos followed every time he could afford it, but his rebellious behaviour along with his new style and obvious sexuality, resulted in fights with some of the costumers at the burger-bar and he was soon fired.

He started hanging out at the piercing and tattoo-shops and started talking to some of the more questionable costumers. After a few weeks, he was offered a job as drug-dealer and since he had nothing better to do, he took the job. He started selling heroin outside the burger-bar where he used to work, getting into fights with the same costumers as before, when they realized he took overprice when they came to buy.

At some point he had had enough of this city and moved again without saying a word. He found a new apartment and a normal job at a supermarket, working night-shifts and the lack of costumers at that time of day, gave him plenty of time to start drawing again. He used to sit at the counter for hours without anything to do other that make doodles, practise anatomy and shadows and soon he felt like doing something more than just make drawings for the fun of it.

He got close to his colleagues at the supermarket, realizing he could pull them around his finger, use them for his own needs and discarded them afterwards. It was so easy to make people do what he wanted, and sometimes he would do it just to see how far he could go.

When he heard that one of his colleagues had a father who worked as an art-teacher, he made her talk her father into giving him a couple of free lessons. He managed to charm the father and got free lessons for six months until the father tried to make a move on Levi. Levi had kicked his ass and threatened him to tell his family about what he had done, unless he paid him not to.

With a ton of money, Levi moved again to another city. Feeling restless all the time, he often got into fights and used his inner anger to send his victims to the hospital. He got a lot of new friends, but soon he realized that they were his friends because they were afraid of him, not because they liked him. He didn't really care.

One night he was pissed off for no particular reason and went to the harbour to get drunk alone and beat up everyone who dared to look at him. After drinking most of a bottle of rum, someone had dared to sit down next to him. And he dared talk to him! Levi was about to get up and beat the living shit out of the stranger, when he noticed the kind smile on his face. It was something he hadn't experienced in a very long time, as people around him only smiled at him nervously.

Levi didn't knew how to react. The stranger was obviously not afraid of him, even though he was about to hit him with a bottle. He just stared at the friendly face. He finally got up without saying a word and went home to his empty apartment, where he fell face first onto the bed.

The next morning he woke up with one single thought in his head. He got up and went to the bathroom to look at himself in the mirror. He washed his face and took out most of the many face-piercings he had gotten within the last couple of years - except his eyebrow-piercing and the ones in his ears. He studied his reflection for the first time in four years and noticed how much older he had gotten since he left the boarding school. He looked tired, depressed and lonely.

"I hate the person I've become." The thought had been stuck in his head since he woke up, and now he said it out loud, looking himself in the eyes. This was not what he wanted. He had moved away to be free, but this was not freedom. He had wanted to find himself and only do what he wanted, but all he managed to do was hide behind a tough façade and ruin other people's lives. He beat people up just like he had been punished at the boarding school. He threatened his old art-teacher, just like he had felt threatened to do exactly as told. This was not finding himself, this was taking revenge on people who didn't deserve it.

The same day, he packed his belongings and went back home to his home-town. He hoped his parents were home, or else he wouldn't know what to do. He knocked on the familiar front-door to his old home, and his mother opened. She looked at him for a moment before she started crying and pulled him into a warm embrace. His father came to see what happened, and as their eyes met, he wrapped his arms around both Levi and his mother.

They talked for many hours and his mother offered him to move back home. Feeling that this was the best place to start if he wanted to find himself, Levi accepted. They had both quitted their jobs as soon as they realized he wasn't coming home after graduating. They had gotten new jobs that paid almost as good as their previous, but it didn't matter. They wanted to make sure at least one of them were home, if he decided to come back home one day.

Levi and his parents spend the next few months talking about what had happened to him. His mother cried and apologized for not listening to him when he tried to tell them what happened at the boarding school. He had decided not to hold a grudge against them any more, and as they started talking things through, it became easier for him. When he finally felt comfortable with them again, he gathered courage to tell them he was gay. They looked a bit shocked at first, but they didn't want to loose their only son again and accepted his life-style with open arms. The rest of his family were a bit tougher to deal with as soon as he came out, but his parents did the best they could to stand up for him and support him.

He spend a year at his parents house, trying to figure out what he wanted and who he wanted to be. He wanted to be someone who wouldn't let others dictate how he should live his life and he didn't want other people to affect his attitude or how he felt about himself. He needed to be free, to be Levi - no filters, no judgement. But he didn't want to hurt and take advantage of people any more. Could he just - let people, who were worth it, in? And not give a flying fuck about what other people thought of him?

At the age of twenty-three, Levi moved out again. After getting into a special high school a couple of years ago, he was finally able to attend university. He had managed to learn a lot about himself and had thrown out everything he had ever bought with stolen money. He wasn't angry any more, and he felt at ease with himself. He promised his parents to stay in touch and they promised him that they would always be there if he needed them. He moved into a dorm, paid with his own money from a real job, and began studying art. He finally knew who he was, and he felt completely free.

 

* * *

 

Levi woke up in the middle of the night, shaking and covered in sweat. What was wrong? Something was wrong! Had he forgotten to include something important in his assignment? No, it was something worse, something that made his body tremble from fear and his head hurt.

He had dreamt about the boarding school again. Nightmares about the punishment and the constant fear and loneliness. He rummaged around in the bed, fumbling next to him, looking for Eren's comforting warmth. He needed to cuddle up next to the brunette and hide in his caring embrace and just stay there for the rest of the night.

As he realized Eren wasn't there, he remembered what had happened that same morning in the brunette's bedroom.

Levi had been abandoned again. He was alone.

 


	15. Chapter 15

Monday after their fight, Levi went to the university alone. He had spend the Sunday alone, finishing the assignment but it had been hard to focus. Monday morning, he had knocked on Hanji's door to ask her if they should walk to the university together, but she wasn't home and he thought she might still be at Erd's place. It would have been nice, though, 'cause he really didn't feel like being alone any more.

It had gotten a lot colder and he pulled his collar up and hid his face behind his bangs. He didn't even feel like putting up a façade in front of his friends. He had really hoped Eren would have contacted him by now, since he knew the brunette would never approach him at the university. He hoped he would, but he knew that would never happen. Why should he want to be seen with him,  _the homo_ , when that was exactly why they fought in the first place.

He thought about texting Eren, but he was too hurt. He had really been happy when Eren hinted that he wanted to let their friends know about them, it had actually meant a lot to him.

At the university he greeted Erwin and Erd, who asked him what had happened. Should he lie to them? No, he had promised himself not to treat people like that any more. Instead he told them he didn't wanted to talk about it.

During the lectures that day, he thought about Eren. Constantly.

Tuesday he couldn't bare to see the brunette, so he stayed away from the canteen and the hallways. He spend the afternoon in the work-shop alone, making sketches till he was about to pass out from exhaustion. On his way home, he was too tired to distract himself from thinking about Eren; confusing thoughts about if he could have done anything different. It didn't really matter, he would never be able to redo it. Done was done.

Wednesday he began to realize how painful it was to deal with this alone. He had thought a lot about calling Eren, but the other man had been so furious when they fought, that Levi wasn't sure if the brunette ever wanted to talk to him again. Plus, he started it! Levi regretted yelling at Eren like that, but wasn't what he had said true? Eren was two-faced, and he had known from the beginning. He just didn't want to admit it.

Eren had always been acting strange, except for when they were alone. And that was when he had fallen for him; the man with those gorgeous green eyes who seemed to have so much in common with him. He had hoped Eren was just one of those people who were a little too self-concious and uncomfortable around many people, but this had to be something else. Why did he even care, when Eren obviously didn't care about him at all?

Thursday Levi spend time in the work-shop again, this time with Erwin and Erd, and of course Hanji came by. As soon as she crashed through the door, yelling her greeting, he had looked up, hoping to see the other brunette behind her. But she was alone, and Levi lowered his head over his work again and tried to ignore the eccentric girl.

She had asked him about Eren, but he didn't want to talk about it, and of course she figured out that something was wrong. She had told him to come by her apartment Friday afternoon, so they could talk alone. He ended up going, simply because he didn't felt like spending another night alone.

He went to visit his parents Saturday, hoping their company could ease his loneliness. His head was filled with thoughts about Eren, constantly pulling in different directions. At first he never wanted to see him again, then he had to see him. Then again, they hadn't spoken or even seen each other since their fight, and Eren hadn't contacted him. But then again, he was the one who left. Eren had told him he was in love with him, but he still didn't want to be seen with him. Levi had said he was in love as well. Was he even? Of course he was, otherwise he wouldn't feel like this now. And he felt like shit.

He had spend so many years alone, never letting anyone near him. After moving back home to his parents, he had slowly leaned to let people near him, but with Eren he had felt a  _need_ to have him near. Ever since they talked about not judging people and stay open-minded, he had felt like Eren would be able to understand him. He hadn't really felt lonely ever since he came back to his parents house a couple of years ago, but now that he had lost Eren, the loneliness snuck up on him again. Eren had really meant something special to him. He still did, but the thought of the brunette hurt so much.

Sunday he finally figured out what he had to do.

 

* * *

 

Eren spend the Sunday after their fight in bed, only moving out of the room to go to the bathroom and empty the fridge for everything worth eating. He was torn between being heartbroken because of his fight with Levi, and not caring since  _this was for the best._  At least that was what he tried to convince himself to believe. Levi couldn't just walk into his life like that and change everything he pleased. Eren was in control of his own life,  _he_ dictated how things should be, and he wanted to keep a low profile. He had spend so much time arranging his life to fit in, in every possible way. Levi just didn't fit into that equation. If anything, why couldn't Levi adjust to  _his_ choice of life?

Eren bit his lip. Of course Levi still wouldn't fit in; he couldn't have a relationships with another man, it was like walking around with a target on his back. No, he had made a choice a long time ago, and now he had to pay the prize. Being alone wasn't really that bad, was it? At least he wouldn't get hurt then.

He was glad to be back at the university the next day, hoping the lectures could keep him busy and distracted so he wouldn't have to think about the raven-haired man. It seemed to work until lunch. He spend the break at the canteen with Armin, Mikasa and Jean as always, managing to hide his inner conflict and trying convince himself that his feelings for Levi had never existed. He had pulled on his happy-face, smiling and enjoying hanging out with all three of them again.

They had been discussing the sudden change of weather, when Mikasa turned to Jean and smiled at him. Jean locked eyes with her for a moment and blushed. He gulped and looked away.

"I have something to tell you," she smiled and took Jean's hand, "Jean and I are dating."

Of course both Eren and Armin had seen it coming.

"Congratulations!" The blonde beamed and pretended he hadn't known ever since the two of them started talking to each other again.

"Y-yeah," Eren said, trying hard to keep the smile on his face, "I'm really happy for you two."

He was happy for them, he really was - but it hurt to see other people so happy together when he knew what he had just lost a couple of days ago. It was obvious that all three of them sensed the change in the brunette's mood, since he wasn't able to keep his face straight any more. He did his best though, and apologized for his odd behaviour, saying he was just a bit tired from lack of sleep.

"Are you sure you're okay?" Mikasa asked, "You've been acting strange lately."

"I have? No, I'm fine, just fine!" Eren scratched his neck and smiled sheepishly. Everything was fine, he just had to realize it.

Studying hard for the next few days, Eren managed to keep Levi out of his head. He dreamt about him when he slept, though, resulting in the brunette trying to stay awake as long as possible, until he would pass out and wake up a few hours later, not able to remember what he had dreamt.

Luckily, he hadn't seen Levi at the university all week. Eren tried not to care about whether the pierced man avoided him as well or if - had he dropped out? It didn't matter, he should not care about it. He should just focus on his studies and keeping a low profile.

He had a feeling Mikasa knew what was going on. Maybe she didn't knew everything - hopefully! - but for some reason, she made a big deal out of keeping her and Jean's affection for each other to a minimum as soon as Eren was with them. Eren didn't say anything but secretly, he really appreciated her effort.

Hanji had approached him a few times, but every time had Eren managed to come up with excuses for not hanging around to chat.

"Eren," she said one day, when he passed her on the hallway, pretending not to see her. He had done that all week, and had actually hoped she would just accept it and leave him be. "Did I do something wrong?"

"What are you talking about?" he asked and looked away. She actually had done something, but he couldn't blame her. He couldn't blame Levi either. But he didn't want to blame himself!

"You've just avoided me the entire week," she said with a sad expression, "I'm really sorry if I've done anything to make you mad."

"No," Eren said, and thought for a moment. Had Levi told her what happened? Should he? No, that would be stupid - he had managed to keep it a secret and there was no reason to tell anybody now. Nothing had happened anyway. It didn't matter.

"You are a really important friend to me," she spoke lowly, looking a little embarrassed to say something like that, "I hope you know you can always come to me if you need to talk."

"Yeah, I..." Eren trailed off. What was the right thing to say in this situation? He knew the polite thing would be to say 'thank you', but what was the right thing  _for him?_ How should he respond? What was the 'low profile' way to handle this situation? "I have to go." And he left Hanji alone in the hallway, running towards his class-room and hid behind his laptop, not wanting to talk to anyone before he remembered how to act.

He spend the weekend alone in his apartment. Armin, Mikasa and Jean had offered to take him to a bar on Friday after the last lecture, but he had told them he had to go visit his mother back home. Hanji had called him a few times to invite him out for a cup of coffee, but he had ignored the calls. He had planned on playing video-games all weekend, but it reminded him of Levi. The way they had cuddled up on the couch, feeling so close to each other, being happier that he had even been before. It felt like it had all been a dream even though it was only a week ago. It might as well have been. He still hadn't seen Levi at the university, it was like he had never existed. Maybe it really was a dream.

Eren laid down on the couch and buried his face in the cushions. It could have been a dream, if it wasn't for the sweet smell of Levi that lingered in the corner he had sat in while writing his assignment. The familiar smell felt like a punch in his face, and he curled up in the corner, crying silently and inhaling the raven-haired man's smell until it was completely gone.

Why was he crying? Why did he even care? This was for the best.  _This was for the best._

He had slept for fourteen hours from Friday to Saturday, and he finally felt well-rested. Wanting to gather his thoughts properly, he tried to figure out what had went wrong. Not with him and Levi, 'cause he still didn't want to think about it and  _this was for the best!_  But he had had trouble figuring out how to respond to his friends at the university. He had spend so much time planning how to put up an act to blend in - why didn't it come natural any more?

_"Come on, Eren, focus. It's simple. You've done it for so long now. Never speak your mind, always agree with the majority. Never raise your voice, never let your emotions show. Always put on a happy-face and never let anyone know about your problems. Keep your head low, never stand out, always blend in. Don't give anyone a reason to judge you."_

He wrote it down and repeated it over and over to himself, slowly getting back on track.

Sunday, Eren got up and looked at himself in the mirror, but without seeing anything. There was not anything worth studying, but the OCD-like morning rhythm demanded that he looked at himself in the mirror on his way to the bathroom, even though he was too drowsy at the time, and would not be able to notice any change until he had taken a shower. All the daily chores - from his morning rituals to grocery-shopping - were intertwined through the last several years, and was executed slavishly to the beat of the drums from his heart every single day, without sparing it a single thought. Everything was back to normal.

On Monday, he met with Jean and Mikasa outside the university. He felt like a hollow shell, but he wouldn't let them know. He greeted them with a bright smile and told them how cute they were together. Jean blushed and said that the only cute thing about the two of them, was Mikasa. She smiled at Eren and they found their way to the class-room. As always, Mikasa found a desk at the front and Jean and Eren found their spots in the middle-row by the window.

Eren teased Jean, telling him to stop blushing all the time, or his cheeks might turn permanent pink. Jean slapped him on the shoulder and told him to shut up.

Eren looked out the window, just in time to see Hanji and Erd walk through the front-gate of the university, hand in hand. The brunette couldn't take his eyes away from the happy couple, but he kept his brain focused on just studying them and not let his mind wander. He knew where it wanted to go, but he wouldn't let it. He was in control of his life and his head, and it should be exactly like he wanted it.

The lecture started and he listened to the professor, taking notes all the way through, because that was what he  _chose to do._   _He was in control._

"Eren, can I ask you something?" Jean said and turned towards the brunette, while the professor left the room to make copies of a sheet on Freudian Psychoanalysis.

"Hmm?" Eren asked and sent his friend a smile.

"It's okay if you don't want to talk about it, but... Have you been feeling alright lately?"

"Yes, I'm fine!" Eren assured him with another smile.

"Are you sure? 'cause you've been acting a little odd the last couple of weeks, especially last week. And you seem a lot better today, so I just wanted to let you know, that-" Jean spoke honestly, before he was cut off.

"You don't have to worry, I'm fine. I really am!"

"Get a room, you two!"

Eren and Jean turned around to see Reiner's smug face behind them. Jean was about to get up and yell at him, but Eren placed a hand on his friends shoulder, signalling for him to leave it.

"You better do as your boyfriend say, Kirschstein," Reiner smirked, always succeeding on pushing Jean's buttons. Jean looked furious, but Eren reminded him that he was the one who was with Mikasa now. They turned away from the blonde, ignoring him, but Reiner didn't seem to care. His smug laugh was audible for both Eren and Jean until the professor came back, handing the sheets out.

At lunch they gathered their belongings and Jean caught Mikasa's hand just in time to let Reiner see them together before they walked out of the class-room to meet up with Armin outside the canteen. Eren and Jean exchanged smug laughs as they saw Reiner's face turn to a frown as he saw his ex with her new boyfriend. Mikasa let them act all boyish about it, but only because she was glad to see both of them back to their normal happy selves.

As they walked out the door to the hallway, Eren's eye caught a familiar figure, standing at the wall opposite the door. He stopped and looked at the raven-haired male, who's eyes narrowed as their glances met.

Eren froze. He hadn't seen Levi for over a week and he had finally managed to force him out of his head. His head told him to ignore the pierced man and follow his friends to the canteen, but his heart told him to - No. He didn't even dare to think that thought to an end. It didn't matter what his heart told him,  _he_ was in control.

Levi straightened himself, obviously ready to drag the brunette away if necessary. His eyes never left Eren's.

"Just go ahead, guys," Eren said to Mikasa and Jean, who turned around to send him puzzled looks, "I think I forgot my wallet in the class-room, I'll meet you at the canteen. Just go!" he added before Levi got to close. His friend smiled and walked towards the canteen, hand in hand.

"Eren," Levi said as the brunette looked back at him, making sure Jean and Mikasa wouldn't be able to hear anything. The hallway was almost empty, but Eren didn't move. He looked at the raven-haired male from a distance, his face completely expressionless. Levi took a few steps closer, making sure he would be able to catch the other man if he tried to run away. His eyebrows curled as he spoke; "We need to talk."


	16. Chapter 16

"We need to talk."

Eren could feel his stomach turn, but he kept a straight face. His head told him to just walk away, but his heart...

"I wont take no for an answer," Levi continued, sensing Eren's thoughts about running away.

"Okay," Eren said lowly, breathing slowly to keep his mind clear and collected. Levi was so close to him; he could see all the perfect little features of his face and sense the sweet smell of his skin and every strand of soft black hair on his head. He was too close.

Eren stepped back, but Levi followed him until the brunette's back hit the wall behind him. Eren was pinned to the wall by Levi's hard glance, and he began to feel very uncomfortable. Eren tried to hide his uncomfortability, but Levi sensed it and his eyes softened and he turned away with a sad expression.

"I don't want this," he whispered and looked down.

Eren didn't say anything. He clenched his fists to keep his body under control, still watching the raven-haired in front of him.

"I'm sorry I yelled at you," the raven-haired continued, still hiding behind his bangs. It had taken a lot from him to apologize like this, to someone who didn't even seem to care. But he really hoped he just had to take the first step and then they would figure it out together.

Eren didn't answer him. He just looked at him with an empty expression, breathing slowly, trying to keep everything under control. He didn't allow himself to think.

"And it's true what I said, I didn't tell Hanji anything."

"Okay," Eren finally said. His voice was rusty and low, and it didn't sound like him at all. Levi looked at him sceptically, obviously provoked by Eren's lack of participation in the conversation.

"Are you gonna say anything?" the raven-haired asked.

"I-I don't know..." Eren mumbled. Somewhere in him, he had tons of things he wanted to say, but he had to keep everything under control.

"Why have you been avoiding me?" Levi looked at the brunette with determination in his eyes.

"Y-you haven't been around lately..." Eren stuttered, feeling a thin layer of cold sweat on his neck.

"I mean, ever since we met."

"I haven't," Eren lied, forcing himself to hold the eye-contact.

"Don't lie to me!" Levi raised his voice. He had spend a week thinking about everything that had happened; he had gone through all the details over and over again, thinking back at all the weird twists and turns the brunette had made in the short amount of time he had known him. Something was completely wrong with that guy, and Levi wanted - no, he  _needed_ to know what it was! He had to know if Eren was worth fighting for, or if the raven-haired man's judgement still was completely off. He had made so many stupid decisions in his life, but he didn't want Eren to be another on to add to that list.

Eren could see the stubbornness in the pierced man's eyes, and he gulped, trying to keep his mind and body under control. He didn't say anything. He didn't want to be here.

"Y-you shouldn't lie to me!" Levi repeated, his voice trembling from sadness and anger, "I never meant to yell at you like that, but you lied to me! You should trust me! I never wanted to force you to do anything, but you... you told me you were in love -"

"Stop yelling!" Eren snapped, his voice harsh and hoarse.

"Don't tell me what to do!" Levi yelled back.

Eren grabbed his arm and pulled him away, wanting to find a place where he could be absolutely certain that no one could hear them. He had a feeling that no matter where he ran, Levi would follow him to get this conversation out of the world, but no one should see or hear anything. He didn't even want to hear it himself. Levi was taken aback by Eren's move and just followed with a puzzled look on his face.

"Eren-"

"Shut up!"

"What the fuck's wrong with you?" Levi yelled and pushed Eren's hand away, as soon as they got outside the university.

"I said shut up!" Eren's face turned to a furious frown shortly, before he gained control over his expression again and pulled Levi over to a large tree next to the building. Eren looked around, relieved to see that the sudden cold weather kept all students inside during the breaks.

"What do you want?" Eren sneered, having trouble holding himself back.

"I want you to tell me what's going on!" Levi yelled.

"Why?"

"Because -" Levi raised his voice further before taking a deep breath and looking away. "Because I care about you..." he mumbled.

Eren could feel his stomach turn and he began feeling sick. He hated seeing Levi like that, but - no, he shouldn't care about the raven-haired man! This had nothing to do with him, and he didn't even want him in his life. Well, that was what he forced himself to believe, and he bit his tongue to keep his thought from doubting his decision. Fuck, of course he wanted him in his life. But there was no space for Levi in his controlled little world. No, he didn't want him!

"Leave me alone," Eren hissed through gritted teeth, focusing hard on controlling his mind and emotions.

"You're an asshole," Levi growled, looking furious.

"Then leave me alone."

"No, tell me what the fuck all this is about!"

"It's none of your business."

"Tell me!"

"It has nothing to do with you!" Eren yelled, letting his anger show and slamming a fist against the trunk of the tree they hid behind. "I don't want to stand out! I  _need_ to fit in, okay? I can't take people judging me, I hate it! I want to control what people think about me!  _I wont give anybody a reason to judge me!"_

Levi looked at him with an empty expression as the words settled in his head. The brunette's fists were clinched so hard that his body was trembling. His breath was shaky and his eyes wide and intense. Levi huffed in disbelieve, as the pieces of the puzzle began fitting together.

"I don't get why you care so much about what others think of you. Nobody likes to be judged, but you take it to a whole new level," he finally said. It felt hopeless. If this was the reason, there was nothing he could do or say.

"This has nothing to do with you," Eren repeated, feeling the control slipping away slowly. He could see the judgement in Levi's eyes, and it was unbearable.

"No, this has something to do with  _you,_ " Levi agreed with a calm voice, "You care so much about what other people think - what  _strangers_ think - that you push the ones who would never judge you, away."

Eren didn't say anything. His head had stopped working and he couldn't control his body. He was sweating and freezing, shaking and he felt like he was about to throw up. His eyes stung and he had trouble breathing normally.

"You must really have issues. Maybe I was just naive to think you were different."

And with those words, Levi turned around and left. He walked slowly towards the entrance to the university and disappeared through the doors without looking back. Eren watched him walk out of his life, while his head felt like it was about to explode. His inner conflict was about to burst into something he wouldn't be able to control, and he began walking towards the entrance as well.

He entered the class-room and found his seat. The room was empty and he starred at the desk in front of him, not sure what to do with himself. After a few minutes, his class-mates returned to the room and Jean settled next to him as usual.

"Woah, are you okay?" he exclaimed as soon as he looked at the brunette next to him.

"Y-yes..." Eren said, even though he knew he couldn't control his voice and the lie was obvious.

"Are you feeling ill?" Jean asked and leaned in to check Eren's forehead to see if he had a fever.

"Better back off there, Kirschstein," Reiner's voice sounded from the row behind them, "Or Jaeger's boyfriend might kick your ass."

"Huh?" Jean looked back at him with a sceptical expression.

"Didn't you see them together during lunch? He sure is short, but he looks like a real punk. I'd keep my hands to myself if I were you."

"Shut up, asshole!" Jean yelled and turned his attention towards his friend who's eyes had grown wide and horrified, "What is it, Eren?" Jean asked, taken aback by the way the brunette looked.

Eren pulled his knees up to his chin and brought his hands to his hair, beginning to pull the brown locks to keep some sort of control. This couldn't be happening. It had to be a dream. A nightmare. Some sort of sick joke or hallucination.

"Eren?"

He began breathing faster while moving back and forth in the seat to calm himself down. How could this happen? Why had Reiner - of all people - seen him with Levi? He tried so hard to fit in, and still everything had fucked up. He had changed his hair, his clothes, his attitude, everything! He had worked for years on becoming the most common person in the world, and yet this was happening.

"Eren?!"

He pulled his hair harder, wanting to gain control over his head, but the thoughts kept running through his mind as they pleased. His world was falling apart again.

_"I don't believe you even have a dad!"_

_"You only have a mom, that's why you have long hair like a girl!"_

_"Now he's even crying like a girl!"_

_"Eren is a girl, Eren is a girl, Eren is a girl..."_

"I can't breath," Eren gasped inaudible. His eyes was watering and he was sweating hard. Jean looked at him completely horrified.

"Eren!" he yelled and grabbed onto the brunette's shoulders, trying to get his attention.

Eren's eyes moved around everywhere in the room, trying to find something soothing to focus on, something that would calm him down. The noises were too loud, the light too bright and his clothes too tight. He pulled his collar, trying to stop it from touching his skin.

_"You care so much about what other people think - what strangers think - that you push the ones who would never judge you, away."_

"I can't breath," the brunette repeated, his voice trembling so much that the words came out blurry and without making any sense.

_"Better back off there, Kirschstein, or Jaeger's boyfriend might kick your ass."_

The voices bounced back and forth in his head, hunting him down and over-shouting the sound of laughing children. He had to get out.

"I can't breath!" he finally managed to spit out in an understandable tone. Everybody around him had turned their attention towards him, but Jean was the only one who dared to be near him. Eren looked around at all the eyes on him,  _judging him._

"Stop looking at me!" Eren cried and got up. He ran through the rows, heading for the door. He had to get out, he had to get away. He had to breath.

His entire body was trembling and as he reached the front-row, they failed him and he fell to the ground. The room was filled with gasps and scared whines. He wanted to get up, but his body wouldn't move. The tears were overflowing now and ran down his face in a steady flow. He breathed faster but it felt like he couldn't fill his lounges with air. He could hear chairs move and feel the many looks on him, and he feared his class-mates would gather around him. If it was to help him or laugh at him, it didn't matter. He wished he was invincible or that he could just blend in with the hard floor under him and disappear.

"Get away from him!" a familiar voice yelled. He could hear his blood rush and the voice seemed distant, but then he felt a firm grip on his shoulders. He was turned around and blinded by the sharp light from the many lights in the ceiling.

"Stay back! He's hyperventilating!"

He tried to focus on the person hovering over him, as she ripped his collar. Mikasa looked around with a furious glance as she kept yelling at the other students to stay away from the brunette. Then she pulled him up with an unbelievable strength, and wrapped his arm around her neck for support.

"Jean!" she yelled back, "Pack our belongings and make sure the professor knows what happened. I'm taking him outside, meet us there when you're done."

Eren's body was limp when she dragged him away, and all eyes in the room followed them until they were out of sight.

"Don't worry, Eren, it's gonna be alright," she spoke in a gentle tone as they made their way down the hallway towards the exit.

Eren couldn't answer her. He still felt like he couldn't breath, but the thought of fresh air made it almost bearable for him. His vision was blurry and the hallway seemed to get longer and longer as they moved. He gasped and clung onto his friend.

It seemed like it took hours for them to make it to the area outside the university, but when the chilly air finally hit Eren's face he tried to take a deep shaky breath, which only made him cough violently.

Mikasa dragged him to the wall and sat him down gently with his back against the cold building. His breathing was husky and he was still hyperventilating. Mikasa bend down next to him, but made sure not to get too close to him, to let the brunette get some space. He closed his eyes and focused of his breathing, but it was impossible to control. His mind was cloudy; it felt like his whole world had been torn apart and there was nothing left for him here. Levi kept popping in and out of his thoughts, but he couldn't gather his thoughts. He just really wished the raven-haired man was there...

Eren got up on all four and crawled to the corner of the building, and Mikasa followed him without saying a word. He sat down again in the corner, hiding his face in his hands.

"Eren..." she said softly, trying to calm her friend.

He didn't say anything, and the tears kept flowing down his cheeks faster than he could remove them. He had lost all control and was overwhelmed by emotions, making his body shake fiercely as the thick layer of sweat turned cold.

Jean joined them with their bags, getting up next to Mikasa and they looked at each other without saying a word. They exchanged worried looks before they turned their attention to the brunette before them. They tried to hide him from curious eyes from students leaving the university, but luckily no one dared to approach them.

"Eren," Mikasa tried after a couple of minutes, stooping down and laying a hand on his shoulder, "Are you feeling a little better?"

"No," Eren spoke lowly, still hiding his face.

"Try to drink some water," Mikasa offered and got a bottle from her bag. Jean watched without saying a word.

Eren took the bottle and opened it with a bit of struggle due to his trembling hands. He took a sip and felt the cold water move down his overheating system. He became aware of the situation and felt his cheeks heat up, as he realized how embarrassing this was. He looked up at his friends; Jean studied him with a worried frown and Mikasa offered him a kind smile.

This wasn't good. As if everything wasn't bad enough as it was, his two friends was studying him while he had what felt like a mental breakdown. He looked from Mikasa to Jean and back again, as his face turned harsh and unfriendly.

"Leave me alone," he hissed through gritted teeth.

"We just want to help you," Mikasa said, a hint of hurt in her voice.

Eren got up, barely able to stand on his feet. Mikasa and Jean took a step back as the brunette stumbled forward. He pushed the water-bottle into Mikasa's hand and grabbed his bag from Jean.

"Eren, wait!" Mikasa yelled, desperate to help her friend, "Please..."

"Just leave me alone!" Eren yelled and tuned to walk away. Mikasa was about to go after him, but Jean held her back and sent her a warning glance. They looked after Eren as he walked out the front-gate and disappeared.


	17. Chapter 17

"Hey guys," Armin greeted, when Mikasa and Jean joined him by the table in the canteen.

"Hey Armin," the couple said and sat down.

"Eren still hasn't showed up?" the blonde asked with a frown.

"No, and he doesn't answer his phone either," Jean answered, while Mikasa just looked down with a sad expression. Her boyfriend took her hand and squeezed it gently to cheer her up. He was just as worried as her, but he felt like he had to hide it to support her. He knew how much Eren meant to her, even though they hadn't know each other that long. She had told him how lonely she had felt when she attended the university; the only person she knew at the university was Armin, but since he studied technology, she felt very alone during the lectures. She had heard people talk about her behind her back, calling her an emo, an oddball and some of them even going as far as to assume she had an abusive boyfriend.

Eren had approached her open-minded and accepted the fact that she just wasn't the most social person in the world. She preferred few but close friends, and Eren had soon turned out to be a very dear friend to her. Jean had tagged along, and due to his constant hitting on her, she had assumed he only wanted to get into her pants. She could thank Eren for making it clear to Jean, that she wasn't interested, and Jean had afterwards settled on being her friend.

Looking back, she regretted dating Reiner just to make Jean jealous when she realized how sweet a guy he actually was, but done was done. Again, she could thank Eren for getting them together; had he not yelled at her back then and told her how stupid she acted, she probably wouldn't have the best boyfriend in the world right now.

"Does any of you know where he lives?" Armin asked as he took a bite of his lunch.

"No, we always just hung out outside the university or at a bar," Jean mumbled and offered Mikasa a bite of his pasta-salad. She took it without saying a word, not having anything to add to Jean's statement.

"I see..." Armin said, getting lost in thoughts.

"I'm worried, Armin," Mikasa said after a few moments of silence around the table, leaning in over the table to emphasize her statement, "It's been three days since he left and I've tried calling him so many times."

Armin studied her for a moment and looked down with a thoughtful expression. Jean put his arm around her and placed a soft kiss on her cheek. The mood had been low ever since Eren's breakdown, and it felt weird as they normally had fun when the four of them hung out.

Armin pulled out his phone and Jean and Mikasa watched him as he sent a short text before getting back to his meal. The next couple of minutes were spend in silence until their table was approached by a familiar figure.

"Hey guys," Hanji smiled, as she pulled out the chair next to Armin and got down, "What did you want?"

"Have you heard from Eren lately?" Armin asked and looked at the brunette with a serious expression.

"No," Hanji answered with a puzzled look, "Now that you mention it, I haven't seen him at the university the last couple of days. Wait - did something happen?"

"He suddenly had some sort of anxiety attack last Monday," Jean answered.

"Oh my..." Hanji gasped, her eyes widening, "What happened?"

"He had been acting a little weird last week, but he seemed better that Monday. Just before the lunch-break he talked to some guy and when we got back from lunch he suddenly freaked out and left," Jean explained but was cut off by Mikasa.

"No, that's not it! He was sweating and screaming that he couldn't breath and then he collapsed on his way out of the class-room. I pulled him outside so he could get some fresh air, and he started crying and yelling at us to leave him alone. Then he left and... and we haven't heard from him since," she explained with a worried tone in her voice.

"He won't answer our texts or calls," Armin added and sent Hanji an expecting look, "You always know what's going on at the university, what do you think?"

Hanji looked completely shocked, her usual happy mood was completely gone. She hid her mouth behind her hand and rubbed it thoughtfully while staring into the distance, thinking about everything she had just heard.

"I could try to inquire if anyone knows anything..." she said after a moment, still deep in thoughts, "I can meet you guys in the library after the last lecture and we can try to figure out what to do," she offered, looking at the other three around the table.

"Thank you!" Mikasa cried, desperate to know what had happened to her friend.

"No problem, I'll see what I can do," Hanji smiled and got up again. She walked right out of the canteen, knowing exactly where to start her investigation. She pulled out her phone and called Erd.

"Sweety, where are you?" she beamed as soon as the blonde picked up.

"We're having lunch at the work-shop," her boyfriend said with a muffled voice, obviously chewing on his food.

"Is Levi there with you?"

"Uhh, yeah. Why?"

"Thanks, I'm on my way down there now. See you!" she sang, ignoring his question. She sped up and ran through the hallways. She knew the break would end soon and she had to catch Levi before he went back to the lecture. Right now, she didn't really care if she would be late for her own lecture, this was so much more important - and exciting.

She reached the door and slammed it up as usual. Levi, Erwin and Erd looked up as she entered the room, all three of them used to her loud way of making an entrance.

"Hey Gorgeous," Erd smiled and got up to place a soft kiss on her cheek.

"Hey Handsome," she greeted and returned the kiss, "I'm sorry, but I really need to talk to Levi, 'kay?" she asked sheepishly, apologizing for not being there to see him.

Levi looked up as she mentioned his name. She noticed how tired he looked and he seemed grumpy and distant.

"What do you want?" he asked and looked at his coffee before taking a huge sip.

"I think we should talk about this alone," she said, knowing this was a serious matter and that everybody didn't need to hear what had happened to Eren, even though both Erwin and Erd were his friends as well. Levi sent her an annoyed look and refused to get up.

"What is it about?"

"Eren," she answered, sending him a piercing look.

"You know, maybe we should just get back to the class-room now," Erd said and looked at Erwin, as he knew the look his girlfriend sent Levi.

"No need for that," Levi said as they got up to leave, "If it's about Eren, I'm not interested."

"Yes, thank you, you may leave!" Hanji said with a firm voice and looked at her boyfriend.

"Goddamn it, woman, I'm not interested!" Levi yelled and slammed his fists against the table.

Erwin and Erd packed their belongings fast and got out while Levi and Hanji starred at each other stubbornly.

"Did anything happen between you two?" Hanji asked as soon as the door closed behind the two blondes.

"That's none of your business."

"Have you heard from him lately?"

"No, and I don't want to either."

"Levi, what happened?"

"I can't tell you," Levi mumbled and looked down.

"Please, it's important," Hanji said with a pleading voice, "He's been acting weird, and I'm worried about him, 'cause-"

"I don't care!" Levi snapped before she could finish the sentence, "I couldn't care less about that shitty brat! Leave me alone!"

He got up and pushed the girl away before walking out the door and slamming it behind him. Hanji looked after him with a frown, thinking about what her next move should be. She pulled out her phone, and texted Erd.

_Can you do me a favour, sweety? I need to know what happened between Eren and that stubborn shorty we call our friend. It's important, but make sure you don't piss him even more off._

She made sure to close the door firmly as she began walking back towards her own department. She had known that something must have happened between Eren and Levi ever since Jean had told her that Eren had talked to 'some guy' during the lunch-break last Monday, but she was surprised by Levi's angry reaction as soon as she mentioned the brunette. Erd texted her back as she reached the hallway where her own class-room were placed.

_I'll do my best, honey._

She smiled and sent a  _'thank you'_ back, as she remembered somewhere else she could go and hopefully find a clue to what had happened to her friend.

A couple of hours later, she met with Armin, Mikasa and Jean in the library. Like always, she couldn't care less about the other students at the library, and greeted the three of them loudly, earning her annoyed glares from everybody else in the room.

"Did you find anything?" Armin asked her, as she sat down by their table.

"I didn't get what I wanted, but I found something else," she started, thinking back at Levi's secrecy, "I know a few guys down at the university-office, and they told me Eren has filed an application for leave of absence."

"What?" Mikasa yelled and the other students looked towards their table, annoyed.

"That's what they told me. I tried to convince them to let me look at the application, but they said it was confidential information," Hanji shrugged and felt sad about not having anything else to tell the three of them.

"Do you know where he lives?" Jean asked her, hoping that she could give them more information.

"Nope," she said, "I know which area he lives in, but not the specific address."

Of course she had already texted Levi about the address when the guys at the office had refused to give it to her, but he hadn't answered her. She wasn't ready to give up yet, though, and she hoped Jean, Armin and Mikasa felt the same way. Eren was truly a very dear friend to her, and she was worried about him.

They sat in silence for a moment, thinking about what to do now. Armin looked at his friends with determination before pulling a monster of a laptop out of his bag and placing it on the table. The three others looked at him with puzzled looks, as he turned it on and began tapping away on the keyboard as soon as it was up and running.

"What are you doing?" Hanji asked curiously, leaning in to look at the screen.

"Getting Eren's address," Armin answered without looking up.

"How?" she inquired, "Armin, are you-"

"Sch!" Armin interrupted, "Yes, I am, but keep your mouth shut."

After a few minutes, Armin scribbled something down on a piece of paper, and shut his laptop while handing the paper to Mikasa.

"That's Eren's address," Armin mumbled and put his laptop back in his bag, "Let's go."

Half an hour later, they were outside Eren's apartment. Hanji hit the doorbell enthusiastically, impatient to get inside. The weather had gotten worse in the last couple days and they were all freezing from the cold wind and it had started raining a bit after they arrived at Eren's building.

"Come on, let us in!" Hanji yelled at the doorbell and pressed it multiple times to make Eren let them inside. No one answered.

After a couple of minutes someone left the building, and the four of them used the opportunity to get inside. They found Eren's front door on the second floor, and knocked.

"Eren!" Mikasa yelled, and pulled the handle, hoping it wasn't locked.

Hanji knelt down and looked through the mail slot.

"Eren!" she yelled and looked inside again. They were all silent for a moment, while Hanji listened through the mail slot to hear if the brunette was in there. "I don't think he's home."

They all looked disappointed, not knowing what to do now.

"Should we just wait for him here?" Jean asked and looked at his friends.

"I guess we could stay and wait..." Armin agreed, thinking if there was anything else they could do.

Just before they settled down in the hallway next to Eren's front-door, another door was opened and a blond woman looked out at them.

"Are you looking for Eren Jaeger?" she asked, as she had obviously heard them yelling from her apartment.

"Do you know where he is?" Mikasa asked, her eyes full of hope.

"No, but I think you'll be here for a while if you're waiting for him. He left a couple of days ago with a suitcase."

"Do you know where he went?" Hanji asked.

"No, I'm sorry," the woman answered, looking sad not to be a greater help as their faces turned to disappointment again.

"Okay, thank you anyway," Hanji said, smiling politely, "And I'm sorry we disturbed you."

The woman closed the door again with a smile, and the four friends looked at each other to figure out what to do now.

"Maybe I could track him down if I had internet connection..." Armin said, lost in thoughts.

"Seriously?" Hanji yelled, and when Armin nodded, she continued, "My boyfriend lives nearby, we could go to his place!"

They left and Hanji led them to Erd's apartment, completely forgetting to call him and ask if it was okay with him. Luckily he was home, and didn't mind his girlfriend's surprise visit and the three guests she brought along. She explained what had happened and told him that Armin needed access to his internet, while Armin turned on his laptop once again.

"Do you guys want coffee?" Erd offered and they all said yes and thanked him for his hospitality. Hanji followed him to the kitchen and kissed him, while thanking him for being such a great boyfriend. In the kitchen, she asked him if he had gotten any information out of Levi, but he told her that Levi had refused to say anything regarding Eren.

"Can you really track him down?" Jean asked and looked at the screen as Armin opened programmes and browser windows like there was no tomorrow.

"Of course," Armin stated, while tapping away on the keyboard.

"You know, Armin," Hanji said as she returned from the kitchen, "I'd never have guessed you were a hacker."

"You shouldn't judge a book by it's cover," Armin smirked and continued his quest, "I used to make money on selling confidential information when I was younger. My father began drinking after my mother passed away, and I had to make money to pay the bills and this was the easiest way for me."

"Armin..." Mikasa whispered with a shocked expression, "I never knew..."

"Don't worry," Armin smiled, "It's nothing. I don't do it anymore, but I thought I might as well give it a go if it means we can find Eren."

Mikasa hugged him, and they drank their coffee while Armin hacked into Eren's online banking and found the bill for the train-ticket he had bought last Tuesday. The blonde found the train and the destination, and managed to figure out that Eren had left to visit his mother. He found her name and address, just as his friends had finished their coffee.

"If we leave tomorrow, I can probably borrow my dad's car," Jean said as Armin showed them how far away Eren's mother lived.

"Then let's go tomorrow after the last lecture," Hanji beamed, happy that they finally had something to go after.

The next day they left as soon as their last lecture had ended. Jean pulled up the car next to the entrance, and his three friends got inside. After half an hour on the highway, Hanji suddenly got a frightened look in her eyes.

"What if he's not there?" she asked, thinking that all their hard work and money spend on gas, would be wasted.

"Don't jinx it!" Jean yelled back from the front-seat, "He has to be there!"

It took them a couple of hours to find the right place, and Jean parked the car while the other three got out to find the right house. Jean joined them as Armin knocked on the front-door to a charming little house in the little town where Eren apparently used to live as a child.

A woman with dark-brown hair, just like Eren, opened the door and looked confused as she spotted the four young people at her door.

"Can I help you?" she asked friendly, looking from one to another.

"Carla Jaeger?" Armin asked and she nodded, "We're Eren's friends from the university. Is he here?"

"Y-yes," she answered, "but he's out right now."

"When will he be back?" Mikasa asked and took a step forward.

"Soon, I think," Carla answered after looking at the watch on her wrist, "Did you say you were Eren's friends?" They nodded and Carla sent them a very happy smile before she continued, "Do you wanna come inside and wait for him?"

"Thank you," they said all at once.

They settled in the kitchen while Carla made them a cup of tea and offered them a piece of cake as well. All four of them felt a little awkward in the strange kitchen, and tried to be as polite as possible.

"I'm very happy to see that Eren's got friends at the university," she said while handing the cake around, "He didn't really have friends as a child, but you guys must be very close to him since you've come all this way to visit him."

"Actually, he doesn't know we were gonna visit him," Hanji said sheepishly and scratched her neck.

"Really?" Carla asked puzzled and looked at Hanji, "Then... Why are you here?"

"Did Eren tell you what happened last Monday?" Armin asked after taking a sip of his tea.

"He told me he had been given time for home-studies and wanted to visit me while he had the chance," she answered, as a worried frown settled on her face.

Deciding that there was no need to worry Eren's mother further, Armin placed his hand on Hanji's arm before she could manage to open her mouth and tell what really happened.

"We didn't hear anything about that, he just suddenly left, so we got worried," he said and offered a kind smile, "But we hope you don't mind us staying and talking to him for a couple of hours while we're here."

"Of course not!" Carla said, as she calmed down again, smiling sweetly at her son's friends, "As I said, I'm very happy to see that Eren has finally got such good friends."

Just as she said the last words, the front-door opened and closed, and Carla added that it had to be Eren.

"Mom?" Eren yelled from the hallway, while taking of his jacket and shoes, "Mom, where are you?"

"In the kitchen, sweety!" she yelled back and went to the door to welcome him back, "You've got visitors."

"What?"

Armin, Hanji, Jean and Mikasa could hear the disbelief in his voice as footsteps went from the front-door to the kitchen. They all looked at Eren as he appeared in the doorway, almost dropping his bag with groceries as he spotted his friends in his mother's kitchen, so far away from where they lived.

"Hey Eren," Hanji beamed, and the other three waved nervously and offered him gentle smiles.

"They came to visit you while you were out," Carla explained as she gently pushed Eren through the door into the kitchen, "You never told me you had such nice friends."

Eren looked from his mother to his friends with wide eyes and disbelief painted all over his face.

"What the fuck are you guys doing here?"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm dedicating this chapter to Silver, who is in deed my very best friend. She has shown me how far true friends will go to help you, and she's been there for me when I felt most lost. During the last couple of months I've been on sickleave due to stress, and she has taken out so much time to visit me and make sure I wasn't alone; she's taken me to see my psychologist many times and spend hours on listening to my problems, and she always make me smile. True friends are rare, but they are worth everything.


	18. Chapter 18

"What the fuck are you guys doing here?"

The question came out sounding a lot harder that Eren had wanted, but he was completely shocked by seeing his friends having a tea-party in his mother's kitchen. His friends and his mother looked at him after his outburst with just as shocked expressions.

"Eren!" Carla scolded, not expecting her son to talk to his friends like that, "Is that a way to greet your friends?"

"No, it's our fault for coming unannounced," Jean stepped in to protect his friend, "How are you, Eren?"

"I-I, ehh..." Eren stumbled as Mikasa and Hanji got up to hug him. He was left completely speechless, while the two girls held him tight. This was probably the last thing he had expected, and that meant he had no clue how to act this one out. Normally he would have prepared a reaction to every possible scenario he could experience, but after his anxiety attack he had felt too exhausted to prepare himself for anything. That was why he decided to visit his mother until he was back on his feet, even if it meant he had to drop out of the university. He could always move to another city and start all over without anyone knowing him or what had happened to him.

"Why don't you go to the living room and enjoy your tea?" Carla said with a kind smile, "You must have a lot to talk about if you didn't tell your friends you had been given time for home-studies."

"Thank you, Mrs. Jaeger," Armin said and he and Jean got up as well, patting Eren's shoulder as they left for the living room.

Carla provided them with a freshly made pot of tea and more cake, as Eren placed himself in the armchair while Jean, Mikasa and Armin squeezed together in the couch and Hanji placed herself on a footstool matching the armchair.

Eren looked down at the mug in his hands, not wanting to make eye-contact with any of his friends. He didn't understand why they were there and he was afraid to ask. He had a feeling he would possibly find himself in the middle of a conversation he wouldn't know how to handle.

"How are you feeling, Eren?" Mikasa finally asked, after a couple of minutes in awkward silence.

"I'm fine," he mumbled, still looking at the hot liquid in his mug.

"We were really worried about you," she added, hoping he would warm up to them.

"I'm sorry to hear that," he said lowly, with an expressionless voice.

Mikasa, Jean, Armin and Hanji looked at each other as none of them could figure out where to begin. They had gone a long way to find Eren and none of them wanted to ruin the chance of getting him to talk. Eren's voice might sound expressionless and careless, but the expression in his eyes and the sad frown on his face, told them something completely different. He seemed tired and hurt and very far from his usual calm and happy self.

"What's going on, Eren?" Jean asked, trying to sound calm and understanding, but he really was desperate to get answers out of the brunette.

"Nothing."

"We heard you had filed an application for leave of absence," Hanji said to let Eren know that they had done some research.

"Have you told my mother?" Eren asked and finally looked up at the other brunette. His eyes were desperate as he didn't want his mother to know what had happened.

"No. She told us you went back home because you got time for home-studies, and we didn't want her to get worried," Armin answered, and Eren sent him a relieved look before his face turned back to the dark frown. The room was filled with silence once again.

"Why are you here?" Eren then asked while studying his hands around the mug.

"We were worried about you," Mikasa repeated and had to grab onto Jean's arm to keep herself from getting up and hug the brunette again.

"Why?"

"B-because of your anxiety attack," the raven-haired girl answered, not really sure about if she had understood his question right. It seemed obvious.

"I asked you to leave me alone," Eren whispered barely audible and hid his eyes behind his bangs.

"No one would leave their friend alone after what happened to you," Jean stated with a firm voice, trying to catch Eren's eyes, but Eren refused to look up as he bit his lip and a silent tear rolled down his cheek and dripped down his tea.

"Eren..." Mikasa cried and got up to throw her arms around him, but Jean and Armin held her back, well knowing that they had to hold back if they wanted Eren to open up to them. If Mikasa began nursing him, he would probably get furious and throw them out.

"I just want to be alone," he whispered as another tear followed the first.

"Why didn't you tell your mother what happened to you?" Armin asked and let go of Mikasa as she settled down between him and Jean again, finally understanding she had to hold back.

"I didn't want her to worry about me," Eren said with a weak voice, trying to stop the tears from falling, "I didn't want you guys to worry either."

"You really don't want people to worry about you?" Hanji asked and moved a bit closer to Eren. He shook his head as answer. "It's perfectly normal to worry about people you care about, Eren. It can't be helped."

"You don't even know me," Eren said and looked up again. He didn't care anymore. He didn't have the strength to hold back anymore and if they had to know, he couldn't lie anymore. It didn't matter anyway, he could drop out of the university and start over somewhere new. It would probably be the best.

His friends looked at him with puzzled looks, not getting what he said. They didn't knew him? What was that supposed to mean?

Eren got up from the chair, moving towards the door. Hanji was on her feet shortly after, ready to run after him if he tried to escape, but he simply closed the door to the rest of the house to make sure his mother didn't hear anything they talked about. He sat back down again and Hanji did the same.

"What do you mean?" Hanji asked, and took a sip of her tea, finally feeling certain that Eren wouldn't put up a fight, and she could calm down. Armin and Jean followed her example and got another piece of cake and filled their mugs, while Mikasa was frozen to the spot, following every move Eren made, with her eyes.

"I never showed you my true self," Eren began, keeping his eyes locked on his mug again, "I've spend years of my life calculating what the most common person in the world would be like, and I tried to fit into that character. I... don't like to stand out."

His four friends didn't say anything. They wanted him to continue by himself, letting him tell what he felt comfortable with in his own pace, and then they could always ask him later. Sensing none of them planned on questioning him further, Eren sighed and continued after taking a sip of his tea.

"I used to get bullied a lot as a kid, starting on my first school day. Afterwards, I tried to fit in and did everything I could to not give my class-mates a reason to bully me, but it was no use. They had marked me as an oddball and soon I realized that it would go on as long as I lived here. When I moved out, I prepared myself to be the perfect normal person. I didn't want anyone to get to know the real me and I didn't want anyone to know about my problems. I've lied to all of you so many times, and none of you have ever known me."

He didn't dare to look up, but he could feel their eyes on him. Hanji and Mikasa starred at him, trying to process what had just come out of his mouth, and Jean and Armin looked at each other in disbelief. Armin was the first to speak up.

"B-but then-"

"That's not true!" Mikasa cut him off, and got up before Jean or Armin could hold her back. She threw herself at Eren's feet, forcing him to look at her as her eyes filled with tears. "That's not true, Eren! We know you -  _I know you!_  You are my best friend, and I know you!"

Eren looked at her with wide eyes, as the tears fell from her eyes. He was taken aback by her sudden outburst and violent movement and she clung onto his legs as she continued; "You talked to me when no one else would and you took your time to get to know me and understand me. You put me in my place when I was being unreasonable to Jean and you worried about me when I was dating Reiner. That's not something you can fake."

Eren looked at her dark sad eyes as she spoke, not knowing what to say. He couldn't argue with what she said, but... But how could she possibly sort out what was him and what had been the person he had forced on himself?

"You can fake almost anything you want, Eren, but you can't fake chemistry between people," Hanji concluded, "And that's what binds every relationship, whether it be friendship or romance."

Eren looked around at his friends as Jean and Armin nodded in agreement. He didn't really know if he should feel relieved that they all actually still saw him as their friend or if he should feel horrified that his attempt to hide his true self had failed so hard without him noticing.

"There's nothing wrong with wanting to fit in, but you can't hide who you are. You might have been able to fool us all sometimes, but we know you, Eren," Jean said as Eren's eyes reached his.

"We won't ask you to come back, but we want you to know that if you do, you still have your friends," Armin added and offered the brunette a kind smile.

Eren gulped as his eyes filled with tears again, and he looked down at Mikasa, who's eyes were still glued to his face. He bend down and hugged her as he let the tears fall onto her black hair. Hanji got up and wrapped her arms around Eren who still hugged Mikasa, and Armin and Jean followed, all of them covering the brunette in an awkward but caring embrace. Eren cried against Mikasa's head and they stayed like that until Eren had to come up for air. They all took a step back to give him a little space, and he looked around at them with grateful and wet eyes.

"Thank you," he whispered as he wiped the tears from his face.

"You don't need to thank us," Hanji said and sat down at the armrest of Eren's chair, offering him a gentle smile, "That's what friends are for."

"Please don't push us away, Eren," Mikasa begged, still sitting at his feet, "We care so much about you, and we would never want you to change yourself just to fit in. You can be honest with us."

"The thing is..." he answered and looked down at his almost empty mug once again, while Jean and Armin got down on the floor on the other side of the chair, "I'm not even sure who I am anymore. I don't know why I do the things I do, and fitting in has become so much a habit that I no longer know what I do because I want to, and what I do because I'm trying not to stand out."

"I think that's gonna take a while for you to figure out," Jean stated, "But we're here for you all the way."

Eren sent him a sad smile, grateful that they would go that far to help him.

"I know this might sound easier than it is, but I think it would be best for you to not think about it too much," Armin said, "Just focus on doing what you like and then things might resolve itself."

"There's more to it than that," Eren said, thinking he might as well tell them everything, "I can't take the thought of people judging me. That's why I did what I did. I get all sweaty and nauseous when people assume something about me and put me in a box."

His friends thought about it for a moment, before Mikasa spoke up with a determinant expression.

"If anyone dares to judge you badly, I'm gonna kick their ass!"

"No, that won't do!" Jean yelled and grabbed onto her shoulders to keep her from deciding on sticking to her plan, "You'll get in trouble and people will just think Eren can't stand up for himself."

"Eren, just remember what Levi and Erwin talked about a couple of weeks ago," Hanji said with a bright smile as Eren turned his attention towards her,  _"When you get friends who accept you as you are, you stop caring about what strangers think."_

Eren's face turned pale by the mentioning of Levi, and his stomach turned as he remembered their last conversation. He had forgotten about the raven-haired man as soon as he saw his friends in his mother's kitchen, but now that Hanji had mentioned him, he sled back into Eren's head and invaded his thoughts just like he had done ever since Eren left the university last Monday. Hanji noticed his change of mood, and before any of the others could manage to ask who Levi and Erwin were, she spoke up again.

"Do you guys mind if I talk to Eren a little - alone?"

Mikasa looked at Hanji with a possessive look in her eyes, not ready to let go of him yet, but Armin sensed the importance of Hanji having a word with Eren without anyone else present.

"Of course," he said, and sent Jean a look as to tell him to get his girlfriend out of the living room. Jean nodded and pulled Mikasa away, forcing her on her feet and the three of them walked out of the room, and Armin made sure to close the door behind them. They went back to the kitchen where Carla was peeling potatoes, sending them a kind smile as they asked if she would be okay if they sat down in the kitchen while Hanji talked to Eren.

"Yes, just make yourself at home," she said, "Do you guys want to stay for dinner?"

"Yes, thank you," Armin said.

"Do you want us to help you, Mrs. Jaeger?" Mikasa asked, trying not to worry about what Hanji had to say to Eren.

"Thank you, that would be lovely," Carla exclaimed and handed the potato-peeler to Jean and got another one for Armin, while she asked Mikasa to help her with cutting the vegetables, "I know I've said this already, but I'm so happy to see that Eren had finally got friends," she smiled.

"Eren is a very dear friend to us," Mikasa said, "We wouldn't have travelled this far if we didn't treasure him as much as we do."

"And I'm very grateful that you care so much about him," the brunette's mother answered, "He's had a tough childhood, and he never really had any friends. I was so worried when he decided to move, but now that I know he's got you guys, I feel at ease."

"He told us that he was bullied as a kid," Armin said, looking up from the potatoes.

"That's true. His father was not home that often, so we were alone most of the time. I tried to support him and make the bullying stop, but it's a small town and it's hard to get rid of a bad reputation," Carla explained and a sad expression settled on her face as she paused, "Sometimes I feel like I've failed horribly as a mother."

"You shouldn't think like that," Armin said, knowing better than anyone how parents could fail, "Eren is a wonderful person, and I'm sure he picked that up from you."

Carla smiled at his kind words, and they continued preparing dinner.

Back in the living-room, Hanji had pulled the footrest closer to Eren and settled down facing him. Eren poured another cup of tea and cuddled up in the armchair, avoiding her eyes. He had to admit it felt good finally being honest and it made him very happy that his friends were still there for him, even though he had revealed his dark secret. But talking about Levi was a whole other thing. He had no reason to admit anything, since it was ruined anyway, and it still hurt so incredibly bad.

"Am I completely wrong if I assume this has something to do with Levi?" Hanji finally asked while getting another piece of cake.

"What did he tell you?" Eren asked with a frown, still avoiding her eyes.

"Nothing."

"I find that hard to believe," Eren huffed and took a sip of his tea.

"No, it's true. I tried to make him tell me what had happened between you two, since I had a feeling it had something to do with him, but he refused to talk to me," Hanji explained with a gentle voice, trying to provoke the brunette to spit out.

"I guess there's noting to tell, then," Eren sighed, feeling a sting in his heart at the thought of Levi.

"You were more than just friends, weren't you?"

Eren didn't answer her. He kept his eyes on his mug, feeling his breath shake and his stomach turn. He thought back at how good he had felt with Levi. How completely happy he had been when they cuddled up on his couch and played video-games, and how good Levi smelled and how peacefully he had slept with him next to him. He hid his face behind his bangs and bit his lips to muffle the hurt sound, threatening to escape his lips.

"You were lovers, weren't you?"

"What did he tell you?" Eren yelled again, finally looking up at the girl with wide, tear-filled, green eyes, "He promised me not to tell anyone! What did he say about me?"

Eren sent her a frustrated glance, obviously pushed out of his comfort-zone. Hanji was taken aback by the hard tone in his voice, but she regained composure after a few seconds.

"I promise you, he didn't tell me anything," she said, trying to calm him down, "I really pushed hard for him to tell me, but he got mad at me and left without saying a word. Come to think of it, I believe he said  _he couldn't tell me anything._ "

"T-then... how do you know?" Eren asked with a sob.

"Come on, Eren, it was obvious to anyone who saw you two together. I know you tried to hide it, which is why none of us pointed it out, but believe me - both Erd, Erwin and I saw it ever since that night at the festival."

"H-how-"

"When Levi was near you, you seemed so much more relaxed than usual. You spoke your mind and your face lit up. I may not have known you for long, but I've never seen you as happy as when Levi was there. As for him, he seemed much happier when you were around too, and he let you tease him without getting mad, and he generally didn't let his temper run away with him when you were there. I think he really likes you," Hanji smiled, sending Eren a gentle look as his eyes grew wider and wider. Then he looked down again, a sad expression crossing his face.

"Liked," he mumbled and tightened his grip on the mug.

"What?"

"Liked," he repeated, "He really  _liked_  me. I can't blame him if he hates me now. I was so unreasonable to him."

"Tell me what happened," Hanji asked and put her hand on his knee to comfort him.

"We had such a nice time together the previous weekend, and then I just freaked out because I thought he had told you about us. I yelled at him and he got really mad at me and left," Eren took a deep breath to calm himself down, but it really hurt to relive it all again, "T-then last Monday he approached me during lunch because he wanted to talk to me. I was such an asshole and told him to leave me alone, but he kept pushing and I ended up telling him that it had nothing to do with him. That I just had to not stand out and that I wouldn't give people a reason to judge me. He looked at me like... I was some kind of monster or something. He told me that I 'really must have issues' and then he left. And when I got back to the class-room, that was when I had an anxiety attack."

Hanji caressed his knee to comfort him as he told what had happened, and she offered him a kind smile as he finished and looked up at her again.

"I'm sorry to hear that, Eren," she said and wiped a tear of his cheek.

"I liked him so much - no, I was truly in love with him! And I ruined everything," Eren whispered and let another tear run down his cheek.

"You know," Hanji started, thinking back at how Levi had acted during the last couple of weeks, "I don't think it's completely hopeless. I think he's still in love with you as well."

"Y-you do?" Eren sobbed, "Why?"

"He's been very quiet lately and when I went to visit them down at the work-shop, he always looked up with a hopeful expression as I entered the room, but when he saw I was alone, he turned away and didn't say much. And the fact that he still keeps his promise about not telling anyone about you, tells me that he still cares deeply about you," she said, and moved over to the armrest again to hug him as he began crying again. "If he really hated you, he wouldn't have kept it a secret," she added with a whisper as she stroke his hair.

They sat like that for a couple of minutes, while Eren finally found release and cried the tears he had longed to let out ever since his fight with Levi. Hanji felt sorry for the poor man in her arms, but she was happy to know that he finally trusted them and let her see him cry.

"I don't know what to do," Eren sobbed against her chest.

"If you want my advise," Hanji said, and paused for Eren to nod and look up at her, "I think Levi needs to know that you're serious. He's spend so much of his life alone and feeling abandoned; I think he needs to feel like he's good enough and that you're not afraid to be seen with him. I'm not saying you have to come out to the entire university and be all lovey-dovey, but if you can show him that you're taking little steps towards him, I think he'll come back."

"What do you mean?" Eren looked up at her with big wet eyes, wanting to know exactly what she meant. He didn't want to make any more mistakes now.

"You told me about you just now. I think if you are open to your friends and family about him, then he might forgive you. And you know we will support you no matter what."

Finally understanding what she meant, Eren nodded and wiped the tears from his eyes. It wouldn't be easy, but he knew it was the right thing to do. And if this meant he had the slightest chance at getting Levi back, he would gladly do it. He trusted Hanji and his other friends, and it gave him strength to get up and with Hanji behind him, he walked into the kitchen, where Carla and Mikasa were cutting vegetables, while Jean and Armin had peeled what looked like a ton of potatoes and were taking a break at the kitchen-table now.

They all looked at him as he appeared in the doorway.

"Eren, honey, I hope it's okay I invited your friends to stay for dinn-" Carla smiled, but cut herself off as she saw her son's swollen eyes and red cheeks, "Are you okay? What happened?"

"Mom, I think you should sit down," Eren said and forced himself to keep the eye-contact as she put the knife down and pulled out a chair, all while looking at him worried.

"What's wrong, Eren?" she asked, as Eren moved into the kitchen and leaned against the counter, while his friends looked at him curiously.

"I... I have something to tell you."


	19. Chapter 19

After leaving Hanji in the work-shop Thursday, Levi went to his last lecture that day. Erwin and Erd had already found their usual spots in the class-room and had of course made sure to keep a spot free for Levi. He sat down without acknowledging their curious glances.

"Are you okay?" Erwin asked, knowing his conversation with Hanji probably hadn't been very pleasant. Levi looked a little pale and very angry.

"Do I look okay?" Levi snapped and sent his friend a furious look.

"No, that's kinda why I'm asking," Erwin bit back with a calm tone.

"I don't want to talk about it," Levi mumbled and pulled out his laptop and drawingpad and made sure to look to busy to talk to his friends.

Erd and Erwin exchanged looks, both knowing this wasn't the time to talk to their raven-haired friend. He had a habit of being very straight-forward and to some people he might seem a bit rude sometimes, but this was definitely a clear warning to stay out of his business. Of course both Erd and Erwin bad an idea about what this was about; Eren. Even though they had tried to hide it, it was obvious something was going on between them. And something had obviously happened, since Eren hadn't visited the work-shop with Hanji lately, and Levi had been in a very bad mood for the last couple of weeks.

Levi sighed and looked out the window. He really wanted to spend the time before the lecture getting used to his new drawinpad, but he just couldn't focus. He made doodles on the screen while looking absent-minded out the window.

He preferred a spot by the window, and had trouble focussing on the lectures if he was placed in the middle of the room. It was calming to have a wall on his side, making him feel less exposed than when he had people on all sides of him. The view from the class-room was really beautiful, and as an art-student, he appreciated beauty. The park behind the university had those really tall trees he had drawn so many times by now, and after the fall had gotten a lot closer, the trees had slowly started going from green to yellow and red, and he could see the lake in the middle of the park through the tree-tops.

Lately, he had tried to avoid looking at it, but right now he just couldn't keep his eyes away. It reminded him of Eren and the afternoon they had spend together in the park weeks back, when the brunette had offered to accompany him when he was practising backgrounds. He could see the bench they had sat on, when Eren asked him about his old record-player and he had told him about his love for old rock music, and Eren had mentioned something about knowing how he felt. As Levi had asked about it, Eren had just changed the subject, but he had felt some sort of mutual understanding about the genre. Just like he had felt a mutual understanding between them on almost every other subject. He wished that was the only reason he had fallen for Eren; that would make it so much easier to handle and get over him.

The professor entered the room, and Levi put the drawinpad away and looked the doodles over before discarding them. Before turning his attention to the lecture, he wished he could discard his feelings just as easy.

After the lecture, Erd pulled Levi away and asked him if he wanted to go grab a cup of coffee. Levi looked suspiciously at him, as Erd wasn't a very good liar or very good to cover up his true intentions for that matter. Aside from that, he was a good friend, and Levi didn't see any reason to be rude to the man. And he didn't really want to just go home and be alone.

"I guess we could drop by Starbuck's," he mumbled, and Erd sent him a bright smile.

Erd tried to set the mood by talking about their progress at the work-shop on their way to Starbuck's, but Levi had trouble keeping a straight face. He knew what Erd was gonna ask him about, and even though he really wanted to talk to someone about what had happened, he had promised Eren to keep his mouth shut. The fact that he was furious at the brunette and heartbroken, didn't change the fact that Levi was a man of his word. He would never break a promise, never share a secret, if he had promised not to. They barely managed to order their coffees before Levi couldn't keep his mouth shut anymore.

"I know Hanji asked you to make me talk," he said, trying to sound as calm as possible, but still managed to make Erd sent him a flustered look.

"Ehh... Hehe, well," he tried, obviously scanning his brain for the best way to handle the situation, "Yeah, she did. But if you want to talk about it, I won't tell her anything if you don't want me to. I'm sure she'll understand."

Levi studied his friend for a moment before he broke the eye-contact. He knew he could trust Erd, but he just couldn't break his promise to Eren. He hoped that if he kept the secret, Eren would come back someday. Wait, did he even want that?

"I'm sorry," he said as they moved to the desk, waiting for their coffees, "I can't tell you. I made a promise not to tell anyone."

"I think I know what it's about," Erd started, but before he could explain what he thought was going on, Levi cut him off.

"I know, but I can't confirm it. I made a promise to keep it a secret, and I can't break that promise. It would be nice to talk about it, but I just can't."

"I won't force you then, but if you want to talk someday, I won't tell anyone," Erd said and offered his friend a kind smile. Levi accepted it and sent the blonde a sad smile, as they grabbed their coffee and sat down to talk about something else. Levi asked how things were between Erd and Hanji, and Erd told him about them but kept the most intimate details to himself, knowing Levi was just being polite and probably didn't need to hear about others successful relationships right now. After finishing their coffee, they said goodbye and Erd went home just in time before Hanji arrived with her three friends out of nowhere.

Levi decided to go for a walk in town before going back to the dorm. He plugged in his earplugs and turned on his mp3-player, trying to find something to distract him from the aching pain in his heart. How was it, that everytime he was suffering from heartbreak, almost every song reminded him about the other person? He settled on listening to System of a Down, which was one of the only bands he could endure right now. The aggressive guitar managed to turn his sadness into anger for the moment, and he picked up his pace down the shopping-street, as it began raining and most people went inside to seek cover. He pulled up his hood and turned up the music, trying to figure out what he wanted.

Of course he still wanted Eren, but if he couldn't have him, he just wanted to move on. He knew it would take some time, but he had to realize it was hopeless. Eren had basically told him that all he cared about was what people thought about him. That explained so much, thinking back at Eren's reactions to Levi when his friends were around. How he always pretended he didn't see him at the university, and why he had refused to tell Hanji and Erd that Levi was spending the weekend at his place. It really hurt to think about how ashamed Eren apparently had been over being seen with him. After all this time he had spend trying to find himself and accept who he was, and he still wasn't good enough for that shitty brat. No, it was exactly like he had told Eren; this had nothing to do with him! Levi knew he had flaws and issues, but he wasn't a bad person. He was a good friend, a good artist and he knew who he was. The fact that Eren hadn't found himself yet, wasn't his problem, and if Eren only cared about what strangers thought of him, Levi wouldn't waste another thought on him.

He stopped outside a shop and looked up at a large sign, indicating he had finally found what he was looking for. This was an old habit back from the time when he moved a lot and ran away from his problems, but it used to help a little. When he was a teenager and lived alone after moving from the boarding school, he always got a new piercing everytime he got dumped or had been used as a plaything. He had taken out most of the piercings now, except for his ear-piercings, the tongue-ring and his first piercing ever; the one in his eyebrow. Maybe he should give it a go, it couldn't make things worse. Maybe it could take away the pain for a brief moment and it could be a milestone as he decided to move on and forget Eren.

 

* * *

 

On Saturday, Eren and his friends headed home. They had all spend the night at Carla's house, since it had taken Eren a couple of hours to explain everything to his mother yesterday. She had offered that his friends could stay over if they didn't mind sleeping in the living-room, since there wasn't space for all of them in Eren's room. Knowing how long it had taken them to get there, they said yes.

The drive back home from Eren's mother was a bit awkward, due to the lack of space on the back-seat of Jean's father's car. Eren had squeezed in between Armin and Hanji, while Mikasa settled on the front-seat next to her boyfriend. Hanji kept hugging Eren, trying to convince him that they would have more space if they cuddled up, but Eren found it awkward enough to practically almost sit on his friends laps.

"Come on, Eren, if you're gay we can cuddle all we want and no one can say anything," Hanji laughed and tried to pull Eren closer.

"But I don't want to cuddle with you!" Eren yelled and tried to push her away, resulting in him pushing himself closer to Armin, who yelled at them for fighting in the back-seat when there was barely space enough to breathe.

"You guys are acting like fucking children!" he yelled, making Eren and Hanji sit up straight and behave for the next couple of minutes before Hanji tried to sneak an arm around Eren again.

"You know," Eren said as he tried to push her arm away without annoying Armin, "I'm so relieved that you won't judge me by the fact that I'm... that I'm..." He still had trouble saying it out loud, but it had really felt good to be honest about it.

"Gay?" Hanji asked and Eren blushed a bit, "How can I not support you? I always wanted a best gay friend, and now I have two!"

"I don't really think people are that judgemental towards gays anymore," Jean said, looking at Eren through the mirror, "Well, of course there are still narrow-minded assholes out there, but you really shouldn't have been afraid to come out to us."

"No, I was more afraid about my mom's reaction," Eren said and sighed, as he though back at how hard it had been to actually say the words to his mother, after joining her and the other three in the kitchen after his talk with Hanji.

"I think she took it nicely," Mikasa said, and turned around to look at Eren.

"Yeah, she did, didn't she?" he asked, looking around at his friends.

"She looked a bit shocked when you finally managed to spit it out, but that was probably just as much because you had been completely quiet for minutes before you yelled it out," Hanji smiled and laughed a bit.

"I didn't yell!" Eren insisted, and hit her on the shoulder, making Armin scold them for moving around too much again.

"I think you have a very lovely mother," Mikasa said when Eren and Hanji was done fighting, "She said she just wanted you to be happy, and after what you've been through, I think she couldn't care less about which sex you prefer."

"Yeah, you're probably right," Eren said and scratched his neck, almost hitting Hanji in the face with his elbow, "I think I just need to get used to being honest and trust that people won't think bad of me, just because I'm..."

"Gay!" Hanji beamed.

"Where do you want me to drop you off, Eren?" Jean asked, wanting to change the subject before Eren and Hanji began fighting again.

"Drop him off at my place," Hanji answered before Eren could answer, "I think we have something else to talk about."

"W-we do?" Eren asked nervously, almost incapable of having more deep conversations right now.

"Yeah, don't you think you should talk to Levi while you still have the courage?" Hanji asked, suddenly changing her expression to something much more serious yet caring.

"Y-yeah..." Eren said, looking down. He had told them all about Levi, back at his mother's house. Of course he hadn't told them everything, knowing there was probably things his mother didn't want to know, but he had told them who he was, how he had felt so relaxed in his company, and how he had managed to fuck everything up between them. Carla had said he sounded like someone she wouldn't mind having as a son in law, which had made Eren blush hard and Hanji giggle as she knew how difficult Levi could be to handle.

"So, this Levi-guy," Mikasa said, "He was the one you were talking to back at Hanji's get-together, right?"

"Yes," Eren answered, as his stomach turned, thinking at the raven-haired man.

"And you've been seeing him for a couple of weeks before you... got into a fight?"

"Yes," Eren said again, kind of hoping to get a chance to change the subject soon. It felt weird to talk about Levi openly, and even though Hanji was right about him talking to Levi while he still had the courage, he preferred not think about it too much before he was actually there, standing in front of the pierced man.

"Can I say something?" Mikasa then asked, turning even further in the seat to catch Eren's eyes, "You told me to get a grip back when I was dating Reiner, and I'm gonna say the same thing to you now. I was really lucky that I still had a chance with Jean, but if you keep pushing it, you might not be as lucky. Hanji's right, you better get it done now, and be honest with him -  _like a normal human being would_ , to use your own words."

Eren knew she was right, but he also knew his head wouldn't be able to take much more right now. He agreed to go home with Hanji and talk to Levi, but since it would take them a couple of hours to get there, he decided to get some rest, hoping it would get him as ready as he could be, when the time came to talk to Levi. He leaned back in the seat, asking his friends if they would be okay with him taking a nap until they got there, and tried to find a comfortable position between his two friends. After tossing and turning a bit, Hanji offered him to cuddle up next to her again, and he accepted, earning him an annoying bright smile from her, as she wrapped an arm around him and he leaned against her chest, falling asleep a few moments later.

He was woken up by a gentle stroke on his hair, while Armin and Mikasa told him and Hanji, who had also fallen asleep against the window, that they were back at the dorm. Both still a bit drowsy, Hanji and Eren got out of the car and got their luggage from the trunk before saying goodbye to Mikasa, Jean and Armin.

"Are you coming back on Monday?" Jean asked Eren as he gave him a light hug.

"Yeah, I think," Eren answered, "I think it's better to get back now, before they make me repeat the year."

"That's good to hear," Jean said and smiled at his friend. He really looked forward to things getting back to normal. "Just remember we're here for you if anyone bothers you."

"Thank you," Eren said gratefully while hugging Mikasa and Armin, and he and Hanji waved at their friends as they got back into the car and drove away to drop Armin off at his home.

"Let's go," Hanji smiled, rubbing her eyes to wake herself up before grabbing her bag and leading Eren to the entrance of the dorm. Eren looked up at Levi's room as they passed, noticing how dark his room seemed.

"What time is it?" he asked Hanji as they entered the building and headed down the hallway.

"I think it's about 4 pm," she answered and stopped by her room to unlock the door, "Are you nervous?"

"A little," Eren answered and entered the dark room, placing his suitcase in the corner while Hanji turned on the light and threw her own bag on the bed.

"It'll be fine!" she encouraged him, before offering him to leave his jacket and luggage in her room, while he went to talk to Levi.

"Thank you," Eren said, and took a deep breath before opening the door again, slowly making his way to the next door, where Levi lived.

Hanji was standing in the doorway, looking after her friend and sending him bright smiles when he looked back at her. He took another deep breath as he placed himself in front of the door, before knocking.

No answer.

He knocked again a bit harder, but he still didn't get an answer. Eren looked back at Hanji, who sent him a puzzled look.

"Isn't he answering?" she whispered to him.

"I don't think he's home," Eren whispered back, trying to knock again, a bit harder.

"Hang on," Hanji mumbled, before she disappeared into her home. Eren felt a bit uncomfortable standing there like an idiot in front of Levi's door, waiting for Hanji to get back.

"Nope, he's not home!" she yelled from her room, "Get back in here, I'll make you some coffee while we wait."

Eren got back inside her room, just in time to see her standing with her ear against the wall between Levi's and her own room. Eren sent her a puzzled look before closing the door behind him. She just smiled in return.

"There's no one in there, so just make yourself at home until he gets back," she said while finding her kettle and filling it with water.

"Can you really hear that through the walls? I thought he had maybe seen us out there and just didn't want to talk to me," Eren asked while placing himself on her couch.

"No, you can hear everything through these walls," Hanji beamed and winked at Eren. He suddenly remember what Levi said back when they had their fight in his apartment;  _'she heard you last weekend when I gave you a head'._ Levi hadn't actually told anyone about them, he had kept his promise. Eren buried his face in his hands, hating himself even more now. Why wasn't Levi home? He really wanted to talk to him now.

"Don't worry, I'm sure he'll be back soon," Hanji said, almost as if she had read his thoughts. She placed a mug with steaming hot coffee on the table in front of Eren, and got down in a chair on the other side of the table, smiling at him as always.

Eren sighed and looked at the hot liquid in the pink mug in front of him. He wasn't sure if it was a joke from Hanji about him being gay, or if she only had pink mugs, but it made him huff out a single laugh. She had a funny way of accepting people while still making a little fun of them. It wasn't a bad thing actually, it only made it easier for him to be honest with her. It was probably the same charm that made her able to call people 'hippie' or 'punker' to their faces without offending them.

"Soooo," Hanji said and leaned a little closer to Eren, sending him a curious look, "what are you gonna say to Levi?"

"I actually don't know," Eren answered honestly, "I haven't given it much thought. I kinda regret that now," he said with a nervous laugh.

"Why?"

"Because I don't want to fuck this up. This is probably my last chance to talk to him, and I don't want to make it worse," Eren sighed, searching his brain for the right things to say to Levi.

"I don't think you need to worry too much," Hanji smiled, "As long as you're honest, I think he'll forgive you. As I said yesterday, I think he really likes you and if you are willing to admit your mistakes, I'm sure he'll do the same."

"I just don't want to force him to do anything. I just want to make sure he knows how I feel and... and that I'll do everything I can to make it up to him," Eren mumbled and looked down. It was all very new to him, and he knew it would be hard to stop caring about what other people thought of him, but he was ready to do his very best. But would that be good enough for Levi?

"Aww, that's so cute!" Hanji whined, and brought her hands to her cheeks while squirming in the chair. Eren looked at her completely speechless. "You are so cute, Eren, if he doesn't fall for that, there's no way to affect him!"

"T-thank you?" Eren said, not knowing if he really wanted to be  _cute,_ but he hoped she was right. He took a sip of his coffee and looked away from the brunette in front of him, hoping she would stop squirming like a fangirl in front of him.

They drank their coffee in silence, both thinking about what would be good for Eren to tell Levi. Hanji cared so much about both of them and she really wanted them to be happy again. She could tell it had done something good to Eren to be honest and learn that his friends would always accept him as he was, and she hoped it was enough for him to be just as honest to Levi.

"You better get back together again," Hanji suddenly said, sending Eren a firm look.

"W-what?" Eren stumbled, as he had been lost in thoughts about Levi, and wasn't sure if he had accidentally said something out loud.

"You better get back together! I really want a gay-couple as my friends, and you're not gonna ruin this opportunity for me!" she said, followed by a smile.

Eren wasn't really sure if she was joking or not, but he was happy that she supported him this much, and he smiled nervously.

"I-I'll really do my-"

"Schh!" Hanji cut him off, looking around in the room and narrowing her eyes. Eren sent her a confused look but didn't dare to ask. He tried to figure out what she was doing, but then her face turned to a wide smirk and her eyes returned to Eren's.

"I think..."

"What?" Eren asked.

"...that Levi just got home. And he's alone."


	20. Chapter 20

Within seconds, Eren found himself standing in front of Levi's door again. As soon as Hanji had pointed out that Levi was right behind the wall they shared, Eren had felt a strong urge to see the raven-haired, but right now, that strong need had turned into a very strong pain in his stomach. He took deep breaths to calm himself down, but his heart was beating hard and fast and he could hear the blood rush through his ears. Eren could hear Levi move around on the other side of the door, and it didn't help on his stomach. He took another deep breath and swallowed hard.

Hanji had wanted to keep an eye on him from her door, just in case something happened, but Eren had asked her to just stay in her room. He knew it would only make him more nervous if she was watching him, and he had promised to come back to her room if something went wrong. He knew it would be bad for him to be alone, if Levi rejected him or didn't even want to talk to him, so he intended to fulfil his promise to her, if needed. But thinking about Levi not wanting to talk to him, made him even more nervous and he had to stay positive.

He slowly moved his shaking hand to the door and knocked three times. The sound echoed through the hallway, and he could hear Levi stop whatever he was doing. It went silent for a moment, which felt like hours, before he could hear footsteps closing in on the wooden door in front of him. He wasn't sure if he could hear it because the walls were so thin or if his senses were extra sensitive because he was so nervous.

The sound of unlocking the door filled Eren's ears, followed by the squeaking noise from the door as it opened - in what felt like slow-motion to Eren. A tired face appeared behind the door, covered by a careless yet wondering expression, complete with calm grey orbs and a lifted, pierced eyebrow. Eren forgot to breath as his eyes locked with Levi's, and the latter's face turned from calm wonder to dumbfounded as his eyes widened and his lips parted in disbelief. Eren lost all ability to talk as he laid eyes on the object of his affection, feeling his stomach turn and the fear grow in him. He begged himself to open his mouth and say something, anything.

"Hell fucking no!" Levi snarled, as his eyes narrowed again and he closed the door again.

"No, wait!" Eren yelled and slammed his hand against the door, stopping it from cutting him out of Levi's life forever.

"I don't want to see you!" Levi yelled and kicked the door, using enough strength to almost slam the door, but Eren wasn't ready to give up. He used all force to slam the door open, barely giving Levi time to jump back as the door almost hit his face.

"But I want to see you," Eren said loudly, as he locked eyes with the raven-haired again, "I've wanted to see you for so long."

"What the fuck do you want?" Levi asked barely understandable from his gritted teeth, as he glared at Eren with an angry expression.

"I want to talk to you," Eren said and entered the room, while Levi took a step back for every step the brunette took forwards. He closed the door behind him, respecting Levi's wish to keep a distance between them. "I want to apologize."

"I don't need your fucking apologies, you fucking-"

The raven-haired male was cut off by a loud noise, coming from the other side of the wall where Hanji's room was. Both of them turned their heads to look sceptically at the wall, as if they hoped to look right through it as music filled the room, loud enough for it to sound like it was on in Levi's room. As Levi realized what it was and what was going on, he turned to Eren again with an even angrier expression.

"Does she know you are here?"

"Y-yeah," Eren answered, hoping to over-shout Elton John as he sang  _'a_ _n enchanted moment, and it sees me through, it's enough for this restless warrior just to be with you'._

Levi walked over to the wall and slammed his fists against it, just as Elton sang the well-known words;  _'And can you feel the love tonight, it is where we are'._

"Hanji, you fucking freak! Turn that shit down!" Levi shouted furiously, knowing exactly what the girl intended to do. Apparently she caught the danger in his tone, as the music was turned down right away, and Levi walked back to Eren with an annoyed expression as he faced the startled brunette again. Eren reminded himself to kick Hanji's ass later, but he had to focus on Levi now.

"I... I told her about us," Eren said before Levi could manage to say anything.

"It's a bit late for that, don't you think?" Levi said sarcastically, crossing his arms and cocking his hips.

"I know," Eren mumbled, trying to gather the courage to say what he came to say, despite of Levi's hard tone and careless attitude, "I know I should have told her long ago, but my feelings are still the same."

"Congratulations," Levi said and looked the other way. Eren felt the old urge to turn around and run away, but he had to stay. He had to talk to Levi. He had to make him understand how he felt and how sorry he was. He was tired of running away from his problems and Levi was worth fighting for, even though he could feel the courage slip away for every single sarcastic word the raven-haired spoke. He had to talk a lot faster to make sure he could say what he wanted, before Levi made him too nervous.

"Are you done? I guess I won't have to show you the door, since you already should know everything about running away."

"It's not like that!" Eren yelled and took a step closer to the other man, "I'm done running away from everything. I came to apologise, because I'm so fucking sorry about the way I treated you. I never meant to hurt you, I just... I only thought about myself and what other people thought about me, and that was a mistake!"

"Damn straight, brat!" Levi said, huffing at the brunette.

"But it's not like that any more! I finally understood that true friends will never judge me, and that's all that matters. I've tried to hide who I am, just to fit in, but I can't do that any more - I don't want that any more."

Levi's face turned expressionless as he studied the brunette, trying to figure out what he was trying to say. Eren relaxed a bit as he saw the anger disappear from the other's face, but he knew there were still a lot left to say.

"You were right all the time, and I didn't realize until yesterday that whenever I was with you, I actually forgot to care about what other people thought of me - well, most of the time... Back at the chocolate-class I didn't care about what the other attendants thought of us when we were yelling at each other and spilling chocolate all over the counter, and as I grew more and more fond of you I cared less about things like that. I didn't care about Mikasa hearing what you said, when I was on the phone with her, and I didn't care about being all lovey-dovey with you at that café on our first date. I didn't even care about what the neighbours would think if they saw us in the kitchen-window, when we..."

"Fucked like wild animals?" Levi finished off the sentence as Eren suddenly had trouble finding the right words.

"R-right," Eren said and blushed a bit, "I was too much in love to think about what other people would think if they saw us."

"But you wanted to keep me a secret from everyone you know. You didn't even want to talk to me in front of them when we were just friends. You lied to me multiple times, and you freaked out when you found out Hanji knew, even though you had just talked about letting our friends know," Levi stated, obviously not impressed by Eren's words.

"I know that was wrong, but I-"

"How do you think that made me feel?" Levi yelled, the angry expression returning in his eyes, "How do you think it feels to find out that the one person you care so fucking much about, is  _ashamed_  to be seen with you  _and_ lies to you about it?"

"I was never ashamed about you!" Eren yelled back, shocked that Levi though he had been ashamed, but then he lowered his voice, not wanting to start another fight with him, "You were right, it had nothing to do with you, it only had something to do with me. I shouldn't care about what strangers think, I should only care about what you think. I should've tried to make you happy, just like you made me happy. You made me feel relaxed about being who I am."

Levi looked away again, still keeping a distance between them and still crossing his arms in front of him. He still looked angry, but a hint of hurt was present in his eyes as he refused to say anything after Eren had spoken the last word. The brunette studied him for a moment, before changing the subject.

"I... I told my friends about you. And my mother," he said, trying to catch the other's eyes, but Levi still refused to look at him, "I told them I was in love with another man. I told Hanji everything since she pretty much knew, but my other friends and my mother knew nothing. I told them how I fucked up everything but that I'm still in love with you."

Levi finally looked at him again, obviously caught between curiosity about what Eren's friends and mother had said and his choice of getting over Eren and never talk to him again.

If Levi still wanted him to leave, Eren wanted to postpone it as much as possible, and he continued; "They were very supportive, and I wish I had trusted them a long time ago. I wish I could do it all over and treat you right, instead of lying to everyone and hurt you like that."

"But you can't," Levi said calmly, "You can't do it all over, and you did hurt me!"

"Levi..." Eren said, and took another step closer to the other man, standing close enough for him to touch him now. Levi sent him a dangerous glance, telling him not to push it. "I know I fucked up and I should have realized long ago. I'm still so deeply in love with you, and... I can't promise to change everything right away, since it is an old habit to always try to fit in no matter what, but I'll do everything I can to work with it. I won't say I'll be happy even if we can just stay friends, 'cause I'm too much in love with you to be able to live like that, but if you'll give me another chance, I promise I'll never lie to you again, and I'll try my best not to act according to what others think of me."

Levi looked away again, biting his lip and taking a deep breath through his nose. He was obviously tempted by Eren's words, since the brunette had just said exactly what he needed to hear, but he wasn't sure if he was ready to forgive him. A few days ago, he had decided to stop hoping and just get over Eren. As soon as he had actually managed to go a day without thinking about Eren all the time, the damn brat just had to walk back into his life again and say all the right words.

"Levi..."

He blinked a few times, still not looking at Eren, and took another deep breath, trying to focus on what to do. Sensing Levi warming up to him again and his inner conflict, Eren wanted to do everything he could, to prove how serious he was. He reached out and touched Levi's shoulder gently, feeling relieved when the raven-haired didn't push him away or yelled at him.

"I'll do my best to never let you down again, I promise," Eren whispered lowly, letting his hand wander to Levi's neck and slowly caressing the soft skin with his thumb. Levi huffed at his words, but still didn't shove his hand away.

"I won't care what other people think, as long as I have you," Eren whispered and moved a little closer again, "If you're still in love with me as well, then please give me another chance."

Levi looked at him again, his grey orbs shining dangerously as he locked eyes with Eren again.

"Are you still in love with me?" Eren dared to ask, wanting to know if his request was without reason.

"Yes," Levi whispered back, but his eyes remained hard and angry. He could feel his stomach turn in anger, but his heart was beating fast as he finally had Eren close to him again.

"Please forgive me," Eren whispered and gulped as he grew nervous from Levi's glare. Levi looked at him for a few moments, as the brunette tried to read his mind, but without luck. Levi's face was completely expressionless as he looked at Eren.

"Fuck you," the raven-haired then hissed and took a firm grip on Eren's shoulders, pulling him closer and smashing his lips against the brunette's. Levi pulled back shortly after, leaving Eren with a disappointed expression as the kiss was broken, as Levi continued; "You better not fuck this up again."

"No - no, I never wanna lose you agai-" Eren managed to whisper before Levi kissed him again, this time much more gently and Eren sighed through his nose as he felt the soft lips against his own once again.

Levi pulled him closer and wrapped his arms around him, while Eren moved his hand from Levi's neck to his cheek, and he cupped his face with both hands and deepened the kiss. He parted his lips to let Levi's tongue inside, where the wet muscles moved against each other in a familiar slow pace, eager to get to know each other again and obtain what they had lost in the past two weeks. Eren hummed happily against Levi's lips as the latter moved his hands up his back, caressing it through his shirt.

Eren pulled away to hug Levi, as he whispered against the pierced ear; "I've missed you so much."

"And I've missed you," Levi whispered back, and kissed him again while they still had their arms wrapped tightly around each other. The kiss was slow and hungry, none of them feeling the need to talk any more for now.

As their tongues moved gently against each other again, Levi let his hands wander under Eren's shirt and touched his toned back. Eren sighed again as he felt the warm palms rub against his skin, encouraging Levi to continue while he wrapped his hand around the raven-haired's nape and nuzzled the soft undercut.

Levi let his hands move all the way up to Eren's shoulders and Eren responded by lifting his arms without even thinking about it. Levi did as hinted and pulled the brunette's t-shirt off, waiting to break the kiss until it was absolutely necessary.

"I've missed your kisses," Eren whispered through swollen lips before closing the gab between them again, moving his hands down under Levi's shirt to let his fingers ghost over his abdomen, while Levi wrapped his fingers in Eren's soft brown locks and pulled his face closer to deepen the kiss further.

Eren was lost in the desperate kiss for a moment before moving his hands down to pull at the edge of Levi's shirt and pulling it off as well. He looked down the familiar torso with half-lidded eyes, and pulled back a bit, breaking the kiss Levi leaned in for, as something caught his eyes.

"You got pierced?" he asked lowly, as his hands moved over Levi's chest, his fingers ghosting over his left nipple where a black ring pierced the pink skin.

"Yeah," Levi said and looked down at his body, "Be careful, it's still a little sensitive."

"Sensitive?" Eren breathed against Levi's lips before kissing him again, his hands still touching the pale chest.

"Yeah, I got it last Thursday," Levi whispered as he broke the kiss, only to play a little more with Eren's tongue.

Eren had started to pant lightly when he moved away from the kiss and bent down to kiss Levi's chest, making the raven-haired sigh loudly and feel the arousal grow. Eren let his tongue gently touch the pierced nipple, hoping it was sensitive in the right way as he really wanted to play with the new piercing. He could feel Levi's body tremble by the light touch, and he moaned lowly as Eren let his tongue touch the pink nub again.

"Fuck, I've missed your tongue," Levi hissed as Eren let his wet muscle move around the piercing and soak it in saliva. The words turned Eren even more on, and he sucked lightly at the nipple, making Levi gasp, and throw his head back. The brunette let his tongue dance against the sensitive nipple, enjoying the arousing sounds it provoked from his lover, and let his hands slowly wander over Levi's back and shoulders.

The piercing had made his nipple so much more receptive to the wet touch, and he could feel the shiver go directly to his crotch, making him long for Eren's body. After letting Eren have his fun for as long as he could take it, Levi pulled him back up by his hair and looked into horny green eyes as he tightened his grip on the brown locks and barely let Eren close enough for their tongues to meet again. Eren panted harder as Levi teased him, licking the brunette's swollen lips with the tip of his tongue and pulling back every time Eren tried to close the gab between them. Eren moaned frustrated and Levi finally let him kiss him again. The raven-haired let his hands wander down Eren's back again, pushing his hands down under his underwear and taking a firm grip on his ass.

Eren opened his own pants to give Levi a little more space for his hands - and to speed up the process, as he was more than ready to take it a step further. Levi caught the hint and gave Eren space to open his pants as well, still rubbing his palms against Eren's butt-cheeks and grabbing the firm ass, as their pants pooled around their feet. The brunette barely manage to kick his own pants away before Levi had kicked his off, and pushed Eren back towards the bed. Levi pulled his underwear down, letting them drop to the floor, and as Eren did the same to the raven-haired's boxers, the latter moved his hands to the brunette's erection and began stroking it as they hit the bed and tumbled down on the soft mattress between the many colourful pillows.

Eren gasped and broke the kiss as he felt Levi's hand around his dick, slowly pumping it and making him spill pre-cum over the long fingers.

"I've missed your hands," Eren panted as Levi pulled him further onto the mattress and settled between his parted legs.

The raven-haired male bent down and nibbled on his lover's neck, eager to mark him as he finally had him again. He found Eren's sensitive spot between his neck and shoulder and bit down a little harder than intended, enjoying the masochistic moans escaping the brunette's mouth as he sucked on the already bruised skin between his teeth.

"And I've missed your sexy sounds," he whispered against the neck as he let go of the skin and began stroking Eren's hand-on again, earning him another needy moan.

Eren thrusted hard into Levi's hand, making the tip of his cock brush against Levi's erection, and the latter hissed by the sensation. He moved in closer between the brunette's parted legs, rubbing his own dick against Eren's, earning him several moans. As Levi hovered over Eren, resting his weigh on one hand against the mattress and wrapping his other hand around both their dicks, slowly pumping them together, Eren lifted his ass off the mattress, thrusting into Levi's hand and making it easier for the raven-haired to jack them off. Moaning loudly, Eren covered his fingers in saliva and brought them to his entrance, still lifting his ass off of the mattress.

Levi looked at him with glassy eyes behind half-lidded eyes, panting as he kept rubbing their erections together. His eyes followed the saliva-covered fingers until they disappeared behind Eren's lower back, and the brunette slowly started fingering himself, beginning with one finger but his intense arousal allowed him to add another one soon after.

Levi let go of his own twitching cock and moved back a bit to watch Eren prepare himself, while still stroking his lover's length. Eren's legs were trembling, making it hard for him to keep his ass in the air, and he was panting hard now, letting moans and frustrated sounds escape his lips, trying to keep his eyes on Levi, while the latter kept his eyes on the arousing sight in front of him.

Suddenly, Levi let go of Eren's dick, and pulled the brunette's fingers away from his entrance, not able to hold back any more He sat up on his knees and pulled Eren up on his lap, wrapping his arms around his back, while Eren kissed him passionately. By now, he didn't care if he was properly prepared, he just wanted Levi so bad.

Levi moved his hands down to part Eren's butt-cheeks and placing his entrance over his own rock-hard dick. Eren wrapped his arms around Levi's neck as he pushed himself down, letting the tip of Levi's cock pass through the tight muscle. Levi groaned by the pleasure, not sure if he had forgotten how good it felt to penetrate the brunette, or if it had just gotten better after their fight. Eren moaned loudly, too horny to feel any kind of pain, and able to fully enjoy Levi's length stimulating his entrance.

"Ahh - Levi, I've missed your cock!" Eren moaned as he moved down over his lover's erection, making the latter tighten his grip on his ass and bit down on his shoulder with another loud growl.

"I've missed your tight ass, love," Levi hissed and let his tongue wander over whatever skin he could reach, to distract himself from fucking the brunette before he was ready. Eren, on the other hand, wasn't able to wait any more, and began moving up and down slowly, pulling Levi's head back and smashing his lips against his lover's.

Levi dominated the kiss and moved his hands to Eren's hips, pushing him hander down over his dick as the brunette rode him faster. Thrusting up hard, Levi hit his prostate and Eren clung onto his back as the pleasure brushed through his body. Levi repeated the movement, making the brunette moan out loudly and digging his nails into his back, and as he received another hard trust against his sweet spot, he made aggressive scratch-marks all over the raven-haired's upper back.

Wanting to go faster, Levi wrapped his arm around Eren's waist and moved his other hand to his twitching dick, where he began stroking again while helping Eren's ride him hard. Feeling his stomach tighten way too fast, Eren tried to make Levi stop jacking him off by keeping both his hands on the others wrist.

"N-no, wait," Eren panted, as he stopped riding the other man, "I don't want to come already."

"But you're so sexy when you come," Levi panted, locking eyes with his lover and kissing him deeply. Deepening the kiss aggressively, Levi managed to push Eren back against the mattress and falling on top of him, giving another hard thrust.

"I -  _ahh_ \- I want to come together -  _hnn_  - with you," Eren whined as Levi began thrusting again, getting even more worked up by the brunette's words.

"I've missed fucking you," Levi panted as his lover wrapped his legs around him, allowing him to thrust deeper, which was exactly what he did.

"I've missed -  _haah_  - what you -  _hnn_  - do to -  _ahh_  - me!" Eren screamed as Levi hit his prostate over and over again.

"Christ, Eren," Levi moaned, and pressed his forehead against his lovers shoulder, trying to focus on holding his release back, as he could feel the heat brush through his body and gather in his lower stomach.

Eren tightened around him as Levis cock filled him, pushing him closer to the edge with each thrust. He moaned over and over again, and Levi began stroking his dick again while licking his nipple.

 _"Ahh - haah - hnn - raah - Levi!"_ Eren yelled, slamming his hands against the mattress and grabbing onto the sheets as he lifted his ass a bit to let his lover hit his sweet spot perfectly with a few hard thrusts and pushing the brunette over edge, releasing a high-pitch scream along with his orgasm. Eren came hard in Levi's hand, shooting his seed all over his own chest. Levi managed to look up at his lover's face, just in time to see him come with wide cloudy eyes and his mouth wide open, which pushed Levi over the edge as well, and he came with a last hard thrust. He bit onto his lover's semen-covered chest as he moaned Eren's name and tightened his grip on the latter's still twitching dick, as he filled him with his own load.

"I've missed you," Eren panted with a hoarse voice, grabbing onto Levi's back again as the raven-haired rode out his orgasm.

"I -  _haah_  - I've missed you too!" Levi moaned and kissed his lover's swollen lips.

They held onto each other tightly, both feeling ecstatic to feel each other's naked bodies again. The bed squeaked as Levi moved and fell onto his back next to Eren, none of them caring about the latter's sticky load smeared out over both their bodies now. Levi brushed his hair back from his sweaty forehead and took a deep breath.

Eren cuddled up next to him, resting his head on his shoulder and wrapping his arm and leg around the raven-haired's body. Levi pulled him closer and placed a soft kiss on his hair.

"Thank you," Eren whispered and returned the gesture with a kiss on Levi's neck.

"You are very welcome. I must admit I enjoyed it quite a bit myself," Levi smirked, as his head slowly began to work normally again.

"No, I mean for giving it another chance," Eren huffed, not able to hold back a smile from the raven-haired's comment.

"Thank you for coming back," Levi whispered against Eren's bangs, sniffing in the sweet smell of shampoo and post-sex sweat.

Eren was about to answer, when they heard a loud noise from Hanji's room again, as she played the same Elton John song as earlier, even louder than before.

"Goddamn it, Hanji," Levi hissed as he looked at the wall they shared, but way too comfortable to get up and bang at the wall like last time. He stretched his arm to grab an almost empty plastic-bottle, which he threw at the wall. "Go annoy your own boyfriend and leave mine alone!" he yelled, hoping his eccentric neighbour could hear him over her loud music.

"Y-your? I am - y-your - b-boy... - Am I your...?" Eren stuttered, looking at Levi with wide eyes.

"Sorry, you know what I mean," Levi corrected himself, not wanting to scare Eren again. He was so happy that Eren had finally found out he shouldn't care about what other people though about him, but he sure as hell didn't want to push his luck, and just as before, he still wanted to let Eren decide the pace of their relationship.

"N-no, I..." Eren gulped, allowing himself feel how the butterflies had started moving around in his stomach when Levi had called him his boyfriend. He took a deep breath. "If you want me to... I wouldn't mind."

Levi moved a bit to look at him, and Eren looked up to lock eyes with his lover. The raven-haired studied his face for a moment, wanting to make sure he wasn't pushing himself into something he wasn't ready for.

"Don't push yourself, Eren," he said calmly and kissed him gently.

"I'm not," Eren said, barely audible for the music next door, "I don't want to lose you again, and I want to show you I'm serious. I'm so madly in love with you."

Levi sent him a kind smile and leaned in to kiss his lover again, letting their sticky chests grind against each other as he invaded Eren's mouth.

"So you want to be my boyfriend?" he smirked as he broke the kiss, Eren had almost forgotten what they were talking about as he enjoyed the sweet caress of Levi's tongue-piercing.

"If you keep teasing me, then I'm not so sure," he answered with a false careless tone and turned around, letting Levi spoon him.

"I'm not teasing you right now, am I?" Levi hummed against his ear, and kissed his neck while touching his chest and abdomen.

"No, but I am," Eren purred and grinded his ass against the other man's crotch, earning him a low growl as Levi's body reacted without his permission.

"Didn't you get enough just before?"

"Didn't you?" Eren whispered while pushing his ass against his lover's crotch, feeling the reaction rub between his butt-cheeks.

"Obviously not," Levi purred back, and let his hand wander lower over Eren's body.

"You still haven't given me an answer," Eren panted as Levi slowly began stroking him again.

"I don't think I need to give my boyfriend anything, to get permission to fuck him," Levi smirked lowly and licked Eren's ear-lope. Eren moaned hoarsely, thrusting his ass back against the raven-haired's crotch again, while Levi got up on his elbows to kiss Eren deeply again.

Eren lifted his leg and Levi moved his hand down and grabbed onto the back of his thigh, to support the leg, as he pushed his erection against the brunette's entrance again. The latter leaned back and kissed Levi, letting him do what he wanted as Eren felt like he just couldn't get enough of his new boyfriend.


	21. Chapter 21

"Say, Eren," Levi said later that night, as they laid in bed together after god knows how many hours of steaming hot sex, with caring touches and needy moans. They had taken a bath together and the raven-haired had changed the sheets when he had to realize none of them could go for another round that night. They cuddled up, clean and butt-naked between the colourful pillows, wrapped in each other's arms and just enjoying the comfortable silence, as Hanji had finally grown tired of listening to  _Can you feel the love tonight_. "What made you do all this?"

"What do you mean?" Eren asked and moved to rest his head on top of his boyfriend's chest, not really caring if he could breath or not, as long as he could be this close to him. Levi grabbed a few extra pillows to support his head as he looked at the blissful face resting on his naked chest.

"What made you realize that it doesn't matter what other people think?" Levi elaborated and stroke Eren's moist brown locks. Eren hummed and enjoyed the caress, never getting enough of Levi's touch, whether it was arousing or caring.

"I had an anxiety attack after we talked last Monday," Eren started, looking back up at his boyfriend, who's face grew serious from the statement, "It wasn't your fault," the brunette added to make sure Levi didn't feel guilty about what he had said to him that Monday. "I couldn't handle standing out and I collapsed in the class-room, which of course only made it worse as everybody suddenly paid attention to me. Mikasa and Jean pulled me outside the university, and I got angry at them for no reason and left the place. I filed an application for leave of absence and went back to my home-town to visit my mother. I couldn't tell her what had happened, so I just told her that I had gotten time for home-studies and wanted to stay at her place while doing so, but I really just wanted to get away and try to find a new apartment in another town and find a new university to attend."

Levi nodded slowly, as he understood exactly how Eren had felt. Back when he was younger, this was the exact feeling that triggered him to move from one city to another and run away from everything. It made him sad to know that Eren had gone through some of the same things as he had, but at the same time, it made him feel so much closer to his boyfriend. Most people wouldn't understand how it really felt to have that urge to run away from everything and just leave it all behind, but Eren and Levi had a mutual understanding for that need.

He placed a soft kiss on Eren's forehead as the brunette continued; "A few days later, I had gone shopping for my mom, and when I got back, Mikasa, Jean, Armin and Hanji were sitting in the kitchen, waiting for me. I still have no clue how they found me, but I was shocked. We talked for a bit and I was too exhausted to lie anymore, so I told them everything. Maybe I hoped they would get mad at me and leave me alone, but they actually made me realize that I can trust them. I've actually never really had friends before, and I've tried so hard to hide who I am to distance myself from everybody, but I realized they actually know me despite of that. And Hanji made me realize that you do too..."

Eren looked a bit nervous, still hoping Levi didn't mind him talking to Hanji about them. Levi huffed out a single laugh and let his head fall back, looking up at the ceiling while still stroking Eren's soft hair.

"To be honest, I actually began doubting that after our fight that Monday. I thought I'd lost you and I didn't understand why, so I thought that maybe you were completely different from who I thought you were, " Levi said, still studying the ceiling.

"Are you still doubting me?" Eren asked, a bit afraid to hear the answer.

"No, you came back to settle things right, and I admire that. You're very precious to me, Eren."

Eren blushed a bit, and felt his stomach turn. He hadn't really thought about how Levi had felt during their time apart and he felt bad now. Of course he wasn't the only one it had been hard on, and it was all his fault. He moved down from Levi's chest and laid on the mattress on his stomach, facing the wall at the head of the bed.

"I'm sorry I hurt you," he whispered, gulping hard to keep the guilt away.

"No, don't take it like that," Levi said and raised his voice a bit while turning to his side and wrapping an arm around his boyfriend, "I shouldn't have yelled at you either. I knew you had issues, I just didn't know why. I should have asked you why you didn't want to tell anyone about us, 'cause I would have understood it if only I knew. I just... I guess I was just hurt because I like you so much. I was afraid this was just another superficial relationship."

"I guess there's more to  _your_  issues than just the boarding school, eh?" Eren smiled gently and turned his head to look at the other man.

"Yeah, I've got some baggage," Levi sighed and pulled Eren closer again. As Eren turned again to let Levi spoon him, Levi placed a soft kiss on his shoulder and took a deep breath, deciding to tell Eren more about his past. He told him about the boarding school and how mad he had been at his parents for not believing him when he told them about the punishment, and he told him how he had left the school without talking to his parents, to move from one town to another before realizing how much he hated himself.

Eren listened without saying much; he just held Levi's hand and kissed it from time to time, while the raven-haired told his story against his ear, feeling his naked body against his back and cuddling as close as possible. Levi felt relieved to tell someone other than his parents about his troubled past, and hoped Eren wouldn't pity him for what he'd been through.

After he was done talking, Eren turned around to face him. He didn't really know what to say and kissed his boyfriend on his soft lips while hugging him.

"I'm glad you told me," Eren said as he pulled back from the kiss, "I understand why you did what you did, and I'm still sorry I hurt you."

"Don't be, it's fine now, isn't it?" Levi shrugged and leaned in for another kiss.

"Yeah, but..." Eren insisted as he wouldn't blame Levi if he was still mad at him, but he didn't want to ruin the moment either.

"There's no reason to get stuck in the past. Tell me more about what happened at your mother's place instead," Levi ordered in a gentle tone and settled on his elbow, getting a bit more comfortable before Eren continued telling what had happened since the last time they saw each other.

Later that night, the two of them got dressed when Eren realized his suitcase was still at Hanji's place. She greeted them with a very wide smile when they knocked on her door, and Eren blushed, remembering once again that she apparently could hear everything through the wall.

She offered them a cup of coffee, since they were there anyway, and they spend a couple of hours on her couch, chatting and laughing; Hanji teasing Eren, who had a bit of a struggle not trying to hide his relationship with Levi. Levi, on the other hand, couldn't care less about what she said. He let Eren decide what he wanted her to know about them, and he didn't try to hold his hand or kiss him, until Eren felt comfortable enough to place a soft kiss on his cheek, and lean against his chest as he got a little tired. Hanji squealed by the adorable display on her couch, and Levi huffed and rolled his eyes at her, but wrapped his arm around his boyfriend.

Eren spend the night at Levi's place, cuddled up with his boyfriend between blankets and soft pillows. They were both tired from the argument, hours of sex and sharing their past, followed by Hanji's company. Eren fell asleep almost instantly, while Levi studied his peaceful expression in the moon-light for a few moments, stroking his hair, until he fell asleep as well with his arms wrapped tightly around the brunette's naked body.

Levi woke up in the middle of the night, shaking and covered in sweat. What was wrong? Something was wrong! Had he forgotten to work on his paintings or maybe forgotten about an assignment? No, it was something else, something that made his body tremble from fear and his head hurt.

He had dreamt about the boarding school again. Nightmares about the punishment and the constant fear and loneliness. He rummaged around in the bed, fumbling next to him, looking for Eren's comforting warmth. He needed to cuddle up next to the brunette and hide in his caring embrace and just stay there for the rest of the night. For a moment, he thought it had all just been a dream; that Eren hadn't come to his room, and they hadn't made up. It made his stomach turn and his chest hurt; that was what was wrong.

Then his hands found warm skin, cuddled up against a pillow in the other side of the bed. Levi leaned down and listened to Eren's deep breaths, indicating that he was still asleep. Levi moved closer to the sleeping body, about to spoon him, when Eren turned around and wrapped his arms around Levi. Still asleep, Eren pulled Levi closer, letting him rest his cheek against his chest, while Eren rested his head on the raven-haired's soft straight locks.

Levi nuzzled his nose against his boyfriend's chest, inhaling his sweet sent, as he took deep breaths to calm himself down. It was good to have him back.

 

* * *

 

Eren spend the Sunday at Levi's place. After his nightmare last night, Levi felt the need to go over his assignments to make sure he hadn't forgotten anything, and after double-checking everything, he decided to work on some sketches. Eren didn't mind at all, he just wanted to spend time with his boyfriend after their two weeks of separation.

Levi was laying on the floor, drawing, with sketches, papers and drawing-equipment spread all over the surface. Eren had settled on his leather-couch, studying the other man while he worked. Eren offered to change records everytime the old record-player stopped sending out scratching sounds along with the tones of old rock-music, and he also made coffee for Levi everytime he was about to burst from anger whenever the pencil didn't do what he wanted it to.

Levi had gotten used to having company while working, and Eren's presence actually made it more enjoyable to spend an entire day drawing. Eren felt lucky to have it all back; everything he had ruined and thrown away, he had managed to get back. Levi had definitely been worth fighting for, and even though it had hurt to lose him - and to know he had hurt him - he felt that it had brought them that much closer now.

He didn't feel like leaving at all, even though he knew he had to take his luggage back to his own apartment, and get ready to go back to the university the next day. He felt a bit anxious about going back, knowing that everyone in his class had seen him collapse on the floor when he had an anxiety-attack. He really wished they would just act as if nothing had happened, but he knew that wouldn't be the case. They would probably ask him what had happened or where he had been during the last week. And Reiner - fucking Reiner - he would probably use the opportunity to drop some unpleasant comment.

Eren felt most like staying home and never return, and he reminded himself that he had Mikasa and Jean during the lessons, and they had promised to be there for him. He knew Mikasa wouldn't let anyone bother him, but he didn't want to hide between them for the rest of his time at the university, and he didn't want them to spend all their time protecting him. He knew he had to face it, even though it scared the living shit out of him.

"What's up, love?" Levi asked, as he saw Eren lost in thoughts with a worried frown on his face.

"Uh.. Nothing," Eren lied without thinking, but as soon as he realized what he had just said, he kicked himself mentally and sighed. "No, that was a lie. Sorry."

"It's okay," Levi said, knowing it would take the brunette some time to get used to being completely honest and not having to hold back on anything, "You wanna talk about it?"

Eren took a deep breath, telling himself to speak up, while Levi got up from the floor and sat down next to him on the couch. It would be easier to keep it to himself, but it would be nice to share it as well. As long as Levi didn't think he was just trying to earn his pity. No, he had to stop thinking like that. He could trust Levi, he was his boyfriend after all, and he wouldn't think of him like that. He could trust Levi.

"I'm just a bit scared, you know," Eren said and turned in the couch, leaning against the arm-rest and placing his legs over Levi's lap. Levi moved a bit closer and began to stroke Eren's thighs while indicating for him to continue. "I'm going back to the university tomorrow after disappearing for a week, and the last time they saw me, I was rolling around on the floor, screaming that I couldn't breath."

"You're worried about what they're gonna say to you?" Levi asked, and Eren nodded. "Why?"

"It's just too much attention, and I don't really feel comfortable about telling them what happened. I'm still trying to get used to talk to you and the others without thinking about what you're gonna think of me, but... it's just too much."

"But you have Mikasa and Jean, right?"

"Yeah, but I don't want them to protect me all the time. I don't think that would be fair," Eren mumbled, looking down at Levi's hands on his thighs.

"There's nothing wrong with relying on your friends," Levi spoke in a gentle voice, "They want you to trust them. I'm sure they won't pamper you, but they'll keep an eye on you, ready to step in if you need their support. That's what I would do, if I were your friend."

"You are my friend!" Eren pointed out, looking up at Levi again with a puzzled look.

"I'm your  _boy_ friend," Levi smirked, lifting his pierced eyebrow at the other man.

"Yeah, but you're still my friend too!"

"I know, but I'm not sure if you're ready to get my support in public," Levi answered, making sure not to sound the least bit offended, as he didn't want Eren to feel guilty, "Whenever you are ready, I'll be there for you all the time, but until then, I think it's important you learn to trust your friends. They wouldn't drive all the way to your mother's place, if they weren't ready to take a fight for you at the university, should it come that far."

"About that..." Eren said, and looked down again, blushing a bit, "I-I was actually thinking..."

Levi looked at him curiously, while Eren blushed harder. He gulped hard, trying to make the words get through his lips. This was really hard, asking someone for help. He knew what he wanted to ask Levi, and the fact that Levi would be there to help him in every way Eren would allow him to, somehow made this a lot harder to ask. Levi always spoke his mind, but would he really say no if Eren asked him to do something he didn't want? And what if he  _did_ say no, would that make things awkward between them? And what if-

"Spit it out!" Levi raised his voice, "Don't over-think it, just say it."

"I'm just really nervous!" Eren said with a frightened look in his eyes, "And I don't want to be alone, I'm so scared I won't be able to stay focused on my decision, and that I'll suddenly change my mind and go back to how I used to be."

Levi studied him for a moment, thinking about what his boyfriend had just said. He could relate to his thoughts, but he wasn't sure what was best for Eren right now. Maybe it would be best for him to learn to be alone and prove to himself that he was strong enough to not chicken out. On the other hand, Eren seemed a bit fragile right now, which was completely understandable, and in that case, it would be good for him to have someone nearby to talk to when his mind began playing tricks on him.

"Can I do anything for you?" Levi asked, wanting to know what Eren thought.

"Y-you can... stay with me," Eren mumbled, blushing again, "If you want to, of course."

"What about the things you need for tomorrow?" Levi asked, and leaned a bit closer to Eren, still stroking his thighs.

"I-I could go get them now... Or you could come with me back to my apartment if you want. It's okay if you want to be alone, though, I just..." Eren trailed off, looking at Levi's hands on his thighs.

Levi moved his hand to Eren chin, gently forcing his head up to lock eyes with him.

"I've been alone for two weeks now," he said, "I want to spend as much time as possible with you, and if that's all you need from me right now, then I'm more than happy to do so." He kissed the brunette gently to seal the deal, and Eren smiled relieved. "I think we should go back to your apartment then. I've missed playing video-games with you - and Hanji won't hear us later when I make you scream like a chimp on fire."

Eren blushed again, as Levi's hand slowly moved up his thigh. Levi kissed him again and let the blushing brunette play a bit with his tongue-piercing, before pulling back, just as his fingers roamed his crotch. He pulled his hand back and winked at Eren, as he moved his boyfriend's legs from his lap and got back down on the floor to gather his sketches and drawing-equipment. Eren sent him a frustrated look, as he got up too and packed his belongings.

They left for Eren's apartment as soon as it began getting darker. The fall had come out of nowhere, and as it got darker and colder, the leafs had slowly started falling from the trees. Eren had worn his college-jacket when he went to visit his mother, but it didn't keep him warm anymore. Levi had lent him a scarf to keep him from catching a cold, and wrapped himself up in his lined leather-jacket and a large red and black scarf, hiding his mouth and nose.

Levi wanted to hold his hand, to at least keep that warm, as Eren huffed and trembled in the cold wind, but he didn't want to push his luck. As soon as they got into the bus and found a seat, he sneaked his hand into Eren's pocket, and caught his fingers with his own, hoping Eren would be okay with the gesture in the almost empty bus. Eren didn't hesitate to grab the hand and lean a bit closer to his boyfriend, and he didn't let go of the hand until he had to unlock the door to his apartment.

Eren dumped his luggage next to the door and after getting rid of their jackets and scarfs, the brunette hugged Levi tightly and tried to steal his warmth.

"Fuck, you're cold!" Levi yelled as he tried to get away from Eren, who let his cold finger wander under Levi's t-shirt, making the latter jump.

"No shit, I'm fucking freezing," Eren said and tried to get his hands back on the warm skin.

"Stop that!" Levi yelled as Eren caught him again from behind, and sneaked his hand back up under his shirt, causing goosebumps to grow all over his abdomen, "Shit, fuck, no!" He grabbed Eren's arms and removed the icy hands from his body, pushing him to the living-room and falling down on the couch together. Levi landed on top of Eren and kissed him while wrapping his arms around him. Eren tried to return the embrace, but Levi pulled his hands away the moment Eren touched him. "I said stop it!"

"Come on, I'll warm up faster if you would just let me-"

"No, you're too goddamn cold! We'll both end up with frostbitten balls!" Levi cut him off, as he sat up and grabbed a blanket. He wrapped it around Eren, and got up to turn on the X-box and get the controllers. He changed the game to Lego Batman, earning him a teasing smirk from the brunette.

"So you  _did_  like it?" Eren asked teasingly and moved to receive a controller from his boyfriend.

"Maybe I just thought that was all your frozen brain could manage to play," Levi teased back, gesturing for Eren to sit up so he could settle down behind him. Eren leaned back against Levi's chest as the raven-haired wrapped the blanket around both of them. While gaming, Eren forgot how cold he was, and an hour later, he had gotten his normal body-temperature back and kicked off the blanket.

"What, too hot now?" Levi asked and looked down at the brunette between his legs.

"Yeah," Eren answered absent-minded, too focussed on the game to present a more detailed answer.

"Too bad," Levi mumbled, barely audible.

"Hmm? Why?" Eren asked, when the statement finally caught up to him.

"Because I was just thinking about dragging you to the bedroom and getting you really warmed up, but if you're feeling too hot already, then..."

"You are such a fucking dirty tease," Eren said and threw the controller on the coffee-table. Levi smirked by his words, and got up from the couch, slowly walking towards the bedroom-door and pulling off his t-shirt, showing off hid toned back and all his tattoos.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This was originally posted on FanFiction.net, but then someone had to point out that MA-rated fics aren't allowed there, and even though I know there's a lot of that stuff there, I got a bit nervous. Like hell I'm gonna take down my smut!


	22. Chapter 22

On Monday, Levi and Eren walked to the university together. Knowing how Eren felt, Levi wanted to comfort him but at the same time, he didn't want to hold his hand or do anything else that would trigger Eren. Eren had grabbed his hand to hold, when they walked down empty streets, but Levi could sense his tension as soon as he saw someone.

"Eren, it's okay," Levi mumbled, as he let go of Eren's hand.

"I don't want you to think I'm ashamed of you," Eren whispered back, and grabbed his boyfriend's hand as soon as no one was near them.

"I don't."

"I don't want to hurt you again."

"I know!" Levi raised his voice a bit, getting a bit annoyed that Eren didn't understand he was cool with taking things slow, "Could you please just do what you're comfortable with instead of thinking about me?"

"I-I'm sorry," Eren said nervously. He really wished he had the strength to walk into the university with a straight face and Levi's hand in his, but he couldn't. The thought of it made him feel nauseous and he could feel the cold sweat on his neck the closer they came to the university.

Levi pulled him down a closed alley, where they were hidden in the darkness, and pinned Eren to the wall.

"Relax, love," Levi whispered and smashed his lips against Eren's. The soft lips pressed against his own, and the tender embrace, made Eren relax a bit and forget about the university for a moment. "I'm gonna drop by Starbuck's and you're gonna walk to the university - no one will see us together, I won't be mad at you, and if you need me, you know where to find me, right?"

Eren nodded and looked away, still feeling nervous.

"Are we clear?" Levi asked, forcing Eren to look into his eyes to make sure he was being honest, "You don't have to worry about me, okay?"

"Yeah, okay," Eren finally said, "Thank you."

"No problem, love," Levi said and offered his boyfriend a kind smile before kissing him again.

They walked out to the main-street without exchanging further words, and Levi winked at the brunette as he turned left and walked towards the coffee-shop, leaving a nervous and sweaty Eren alone, turning right and heading for the large university-building at the end of the street. He looked back after Levi, who had pulled his collar up and hidden his hands in the pockets of the black leather-jacket, his black locks bouncing slightly for each step he took.

Eren took another deep breath and began walking towards the university, trying to ignore the tense feeling in his stomach as he came closer. He really hoped he would meet Jean or Mikasa at the entrance, but it was still a bit early, and he knew they wouldn't be there yet. Maybe he could wait for them somewhere and ask them to meet him by the gates when they arrived? Or would that be too much to ask? They had told him they would be there for him and help him, but this seemed kind of silly. He didn't really want them to think he was afraid of doing anything alone now, but this was really nerve-wrecking.

He slowed down, hoping to kill some time by walking slowly across the street and around the corner to the gates, but it didn't really do much. A few students walked through the gates, but there was no one he knew.

As he walked through the gates and towards the entrance, he decided to go to the canteen before heading for the class-room, to get a cup of coffee or something to sooth his nerves. Right now, he really wished Levi was there, but he knew his boyfriend was right; he wasn't ready to be seen with him in public yet. Eren walked down the almost empty hallway, getting a bit annoyed at himself for being such a burden on himself and everyone he knew. Why did he have to have these kinds of issues?

He bought a cup of coffee, even though he knew the quality was horrible, and he gulped it down as soon as it had cooled off a bit, slowly walking back towards the entrance to look for Mikasa and Jean.

After a few minutes, standing by the door and subconsciously trying not to stand out too much, he finally spotted his two friends at the front-gates. They were walking hand in hand, and Mikasa looked very tired. They hadn't noticed him yet and stopped by the gates, as they heard Armin call out for them, as he ran along the fence towards them. A few students had stopped to see who had yelled like that, this early in the morning, and they sent Armin curious looks before heading for the entrance. Jean and Mikasa waited for the blonde to catch up, Mikasa offering her friend a tired smile, while Jean and Armin exchanged shoulder-pats.

Eren studied his friends at a distance, leaving him with a bitter-sweet feeling. They were such good friends, and he would never be able to express how much he appreciated what they had done for him, but at the same time, it felt like he would never be able to laugh and hang out with them, like they did now. Would he ever be able to forget about his past and actually not care about what other people thought? Would he be able to walk hand in hand with his boyfriend, just like Mikasa, and yell out to his friends, like Armin?

He was about to walk towards his friends, when someone touched his shoulder, making him turn around.

"Hey Eren, you're back?" a brown-haired girl said, who Eren knew was in his class. She offered him a kind smile, as he finally remembered her name; Sasha. He hadn't really talked to her before, but of course she wanted to know what had happened.

"Y-yeah," Eren stuttered, wanting to go talk to his friends in stead of this curious girl he practically didn't know.

"That's good to hear," Sasha smiled, "I hope you feel better now."

"Thanks," Eren said, a bit insecure about her intentions. Was she just trying to win him over to get the gossip before anyone else, or was she trying to be friendly?

"Eren!" Mikasa called out, as soon as she saw her friend at the entrance. Eren and Sasha looked up at her and the two others, as Mikasa picked up her pace, dragging Jean along, while Armin tried his best to keep up with them, as they approached the brunette.

"Hey guys," Eren mumbled and took a step away from Sasha, hiding between Mikasa and Armin.

"Are you okay?" the raven-haired girl asked him, sending Sasha a dirty look as to tell her to leave her friend alone.

"Yeah..." he lied, hoping Sasha had asked what she wanted and would leave him alone.

"Oh, I was just asking Eren if he was coming back now," Sasha said with a nervous smile, trying to ignore Mikasa's death-glare, "We all got a bit worried after last Monday."

"I-I'm sorry," Eren said, getting more uncomfortable by every word she spoke.

"Oh, Eren!" a new voice said, as more people went inside the university. This time it was another girl from the class; a blonde named Annie. "You're back?"

"Y-yes," Eren answered with a voice that wasn't his own. He could feel the cold sweat all over now, and was practically ready to run away now.

"Leave him alone, you're bothering him," Mikasa hissed at the two girls as she took a step closer to Eren, trying to protect him.

"Relax, I was just asking if he was back already," Annie hissed back, sending Mikasa a cold look.

"You're bothering him," Mikasa repeated, and turned to face Eren, pushing him in front of her through the doors and away from the curious girls and the many students that was gathering at the entrance, trying to move past them to get inside. Jean and Armin followed, leaving Sasha and Annie behind.

"Thank you," Eren gulped, as they finally made it to the class-room.

"No problem, I told you I would beat up anyone who dared bother you," Mikasa said.

"You can't!" Jean said, not wanting his girlfriend to get in trouble, "And I think you're making it worse by protecting him like that. They're gonna think something's really wrong with Eren."

"Isn't there?" Eren mumbled, feeling more pathetic than ever.

"No," Jean said, locking eyes with the brunette, "You're a bit out of yourself right now, which is completely understandable, but I think the best you can do is tell people that you're not comfortable with talking about what happened yet, or they might think you've gone completely bonkers."

Eren let the words settle in his mind, feeling like Jean was onto something. He sent Mikasa an apologetic smile, hoping she would understand that while he appreciated her effort, Jean was right.

They went into the class-room, which was still almost empty. The few students who had found their desks, looked at Eren curiously as he went through the room with Jean by his side. He tried to ignore it, reminding himself that Jean was by his side all the time, and Mikasa was nearby as well. If everything went wrong, he knew where he could find Levi, and he had promised to help him in any way he could.

Eren found a spot by the window and Jean sat down next to him, patting his shoulder and offering him an encouraging smile. Eren tried to relax, thinking that no one would bother him as soon as the lecture began, and he smiled back at his friend.

Luckily, no one else approached him and a few moments later, the professor entered the room. He went to talk to Eren shortly, telling him it was good to have him back, and that he would make sure Eren got papers on what he had missed in the past week. Eren was glad to see that the professor didn't ask him what had happened, and the lecture began without any further ado.

As the lecture went by, Eren began to relax more and focused on taking notes on his laptop and sending Mikasa little smiles everytime she looked back to see if he was okay. It felt weird to have friends who took care of him like that, but it was nice.

After the lecture, Jean asked Eren if he wanted to go to the canteen to get something to drink, and Eren accepted the offer. They walked out the door to the hallway, as Mikasa told them to not take too long, since the next lecture would begin in ten minutes.

"You seem a bit better," Jean stated, as they walked down the hallway, happy to get a chance to talk to his friend without Mikasa hovering over him like a mother-hen.

"Yeah, it's actually nice to be back," Eren smiled, "But I must admit I'm still nervous."

"About what?"

"It's just... As soon as they saw me, Sasha and Annie attacked me, wanting to know what had happened, and if Mikasa hadn't told them to leave me alone, I don't know how I would have reacted. I know I'm gonna be asked the same questions a lot of times as soon as they get the chance," Eren mumbled, and looked at his feet.

"Yeah..." Jean said, taking a few moments to think about what Eren had said, "To be honest, I'm not sure what you should do. I know you don't want people to ask you about it, but I don't think it'll help to hide it, and I especially don't think it'll help to let Mikasa yell at everyone who dares to talk to you."

"No, that's kinda the problem," Eren sighed, "There's not really an easy way out."

They reached the canteen, and Jean went straight to the cooler to get a Red Bull. Eren walked around a bit, trying to figure out what he wanted, when he saw a familiar figure at the coffee-mashine. He thought about if he should just pretend like he hadn't seen him, but he suddenly felt the need to talk to his boyfriend, to get a bit of comfort and a smile to get his mood up.

"Levi!" he said and felt the warmth spread in his body, as his boyfriend looked back to see who had called his name. At first, the raven-haired sent him a confused look, but as he realized that Eren had approached him in the middle of the almost - but not entirely - empty canteen, a happy smile spread on his face.

"How's it going, brat?" he said and turned around to face his boyfriend.

"I think it's going okay. I'm still nervous, though," Eren mumbled, trying to sent a honest smile, "Oh, I should introduce you to Jean," he added as Jean walked towards him, as he had finally picked out a cold energy-drink.

"This is my friend, Jean, I've told you about him," Eren said and Jean reached out to shake Levi's hand, "And this is Levi, my ehh - you know."

"Nice to meet you," Jean said, happy to see that Eren had managed to make up with the man he had told them about at Carla's kitchen.

"Likewise," Levi said and shook Jean's hand, "I'm glad that you're looking out for Eren."

"Of course," Jean smiled, "He's a good friend, I'll make sure he-"

"Introducing your boyfriend to your friend?" a mocking voice sounded behind Eren, making him tense and his eyes widen. Jean let go of Levi's hand and looked back at Reiner, who was standing behind the brunette with a smug expression. "It's nice to see that you've finally decided to come out of the closet."

"Leave him alone," Jean said and pushed Eren towards Levi, not wanting the blonde to ruin Eren's day or push him in the wrong direction.

"What, isn't Eren allowed to talk for himself anymore?" Reiner huffed, trying to push Jean's buttons, "Eren, I thought you said you'd never met that shorty before?"

"Are you deaf or something?" Jean asked, taking a step in between Reiner and Eren, who felt even worse by the smug tone in Reiner's voice. "I told you to leave him alone."

"Are you calling me short?" Levi hissed at the blonde, pushing Eren back to protect him.

"Guys..." Eren said, barely audible, but Levi and Jean wasn't listening.

"You really need your boyfriends to stand up for you?" Reiner asked, trying to get closer to Eren, "I didn't thought you were such a pussy."

"I said, leave him alone!" Jean yelled and pushed Reiner, Levi getting up next to him, both ready to make sure Reiner stopped bothering the brunette. "I'm the one who stole Mikasa, this has nothing to do with Eren, so leave him alone!"

"As far as I can recall, Eren was the one who told her to dump me," Reiner said and pushed Jean back, the smug expression slowly disappearing from his face.

"Are you fucking serious?" Levi huffed at the blonde, "Are you seriously gonna fight over a girl? How old are you?"

"Like you would know anything about fighting over girls, you fucking fag," Reiner snapped back, sending the raven-haired a dirty look as if he was something the cat dragged in. Levi's eyes narrowed, as he and Jean shielded Eren to make sure to keep him out of this.

Eren was sweating by now and his heart was beating so hard that it hurt in his chest. While his friend and boyfriend tried to protect him from Reiner, they hadn't noticed something even worse; people had started gathering around them and curious eyes found them from every corner of the large canteen-area.

Eren closed his eyes tightly, trying to take deep breaths and ignore the loud sounds of the three men in front of him. It was okay, it would all be okay, he just had to breath slowly and focus on not getting another anxiety attack. He felt his stomach turn and the bitter taste of nausea spread in his throat. Tears pushed through his tightly shut eyes, and he felt like he couldn't breath.

"Fuck, no... not again, not now," he thought to himself, slowly realizing that he couldn't keep his anxiety away. Even with his eyes shut, he could feel the many eyes on him, and the voices of Jean, Levi and Reiner rang in his ears, but he couldn't make out any words. He had to get out, he had to get away - now!

Eren turned away from the fight and pushed through some students, who was brave enough to watch the fight up close. He couldn't breath, and he knew he had to get away before collapsing on the floor again. This time Mikasa wouldn't be there to keep the others away.

He apologized as he accidentally bumped into a couple of students, and he began to have trouble staying on his feet. As he moved closer to the door to the hallway, more students came by to see what was going on, and Eren found himself stuck between strangers, not able to move.

"Please, let me through!" he yelled as loud as his breathless voice allowed him to.

Levi looked back at the sound of the desperate cry, only to realize that Eren wasn't standing behind him anymore and he looked at the direction of the yell.

"Fuck," he hissed, as he saw how many students had gathered around them without him noticing and it didn't take him long to figure out what had happened to his boyfriend. He pushed Reiner away and ran towards the exit, hoping to find Eren. He pushed through the crowd, not caring if he accidentally hurt anyone, he just had to find Eren.

"Eren!" he yelled as he got to the hallway, looking around to find the brunette, "Eren!"

Levi ran towards the main-entrance, thinking that Eren had probably gone outside to get some fresh air and hide somewhere he could be alone. As soon as he got outside, he saw Eren walk towards the front-gates. He was shaking and walking as fast as his trembling legs allowed him to.

"Eren," Levi yelled again, but the brunette didn't react. Levi caught up to him, just as Eren had walked through the gates and turned right, walking along the tall fence. The raven-haired grabbed his arm to pull him back, but was taken aback by Eren pale face, looking at him with a horrified expression. "Fuck, Eren, I'm so sorry," Levi said and pulled Eren closer, wrapping his arms around him.

"N-no," Eren whispered in a hoarse voice, trying to push Levi away, but his strength had left his body, "I can't breath."

Without letting go, Levi pulled Eren a little further away from the university, hiding him behind a mailbox and hoping it would help his boyfriend to feel a little less exposed. Eren's legs went limp and Levi had to tighten his grip on him to keep him from falling onto the ground. Levi sat down on the ground with Eren in his arms, and the latter began shaking further as the tears pushed through his eyes.

"I'm so sorry, Eren, I didn't realize how many people had gathered in the canteen," Levi whispered against his ear, still holding him close.

"I can't do this," Eren said barely audible, as the tears ran down his cheeks, "I can't do this."

"It's okay, it'll be okay, I promise," Levi breathed, trying to comfort his boyfriend. Eren grabbed onto Levi's shirt, pulling him closer, and clinging to him. He cried against his shoulder, without any sounds, trying to find comfort in the raven-haired's embrace.

"I'm here, love, nothing's gonna happen," Levi hummed as he held Eren tight and stroke his hair.

"I can't do this," Eren kept saying, as he hid his face in Levi's shirt, "I can't do this, I can't do this!"

"Eren, calm down!" Levi raised his voice a bit, but kept it gentle. He tried to pull Eren away to get a look at his face, but Eren kept fighting to stay hidden in Levi's clothes. He cupped Eren's face and forced it up to lock eyes with him. Eren's green eyes had turned as pale as his face, and what used to be sparkling green eyes had almost turned grey, as they filled with tears over and over, letting the salty liquid run down his cheeks. Levi placed a gentle kiss on Eren's forehead, as he sniffled and tried to control his breathing. "I'm here, okay? I'll protect you."

Eren wrapped his arms around Levi's neck and pulled him closer as he began crying even harder. Levi held him close and nuzzled his nose against the brown locks, while stroking his back. He really wished he could do more for him right now, but Eren had to calm down before he could do more. They sat there for minutes; Levi tried to keep Eren's shaking body warm, even though he probably didn't notice how cold he was by now.

"Eren, you're getting really cold," Levi whispered, "You wanna go home?"

Eren sniffled and looked at his boyfriend with wet eyes. His breath had calmed, and he didn't feel as anxious as before, but he still felt horrible. Levi gently wiped a few tears from his cheek and offered him a warm smile. Eren leaned in to steal a soft kiss from the raven-haired, before looking down again and rubbing his eyes.

"Eren?" Levi repeated, wanting to know what he could do for his boyfriend. He was ready to do whatever Eren needed, as long as it would make him feel just a little better.

"I can't do this," Eren said again, taking a few deep breaths before trying to get back on his feet. Levi got up as well, still holding onto Eren's shoulders and trying to figure out what he meant. "I can't do this."


	23. Chapter 23

_One year later_

Eren had just started up at his new job as a carpenter, working for a small company with only a few other employees. It had been hard work and he was exhausted, but it felt good.

He had seen a psychologist once every week for a year now, after he decided to drop out of the university. The psychologist had made him talk about his past and work hard to learn to trust people and help him find himself. He felt more confident now, and felt like he had managed to be himself in front of his new co-workers at the carpenter-firm.

He was sweaty from the day's work, and his work-jacket hanging loosely around his shoulder, as he waited for the bus. The chilly fall-breeze cooled him down, and all in all, he felt pretty good.

Of course he had felt nervous about his new job, especially since he had never really had such a physically demanding job before. His boss had welcomed him openly and introduced him to his co-workers before sending him out to work with a more experienced carpenter. They had chatted and eaten lunch together, and Eren had been honest, but made sure not to get too personal. Just like his psychologist had told him.

By the end of work, his new colleague had offered him to drop him off somewhere on his way home, and now Eren was waiting for the bus, only a few stops from his apartment.

As the bus finally arrived, his phone rang, and he picked up.

"Hello?" the brunette said and showed the driver his ticket.

"Eren, it's Mikasa," his friend said in the other end of the line. Eren smiled by the sound of her voice. "I just wanted to hear how you first day at work was?"

"I can't believe you remembered," Eren smiled, and got down on an empty seat, "It was good, I think I'm gonna like it there."

"Wasn't it hard?"

"Yeah, the work was hard. I haven't really been doing anything for a year now, so I think any job would be hard, but it feels good, actually."

"I'm so glad to hear that," Mikasa said with a smile in her voice, "I really hope this is gonna work out for you."

"I have a good feeling about it," Eren said, looking out the window to see when it was his stop, "Let's hang out soon."

"I'd love that!" she almost screamed, and Eren had to pull the phone away to save his ear, "I miss you so much, you won't believe it. I know the others miss you too."

"Let's go out Friday or Saturday then," Eren offered.

"Yeah, that sounds good. I'll talk to the others and then I'll text you on the details. How does that sound?"

"Perfect," Eren smiled, looking forward to see his friends again. It hadn't been that long since the last time they got together, but he really missed them. The past year had made his mood go up and down a lot, and there had been periods where he hadn't had the energy to see them. But this felt like a new beginning, and he hoped things would actually start working out for him now.

"Eren," Mikasa said after a few seconds of silence, "I'm really happy you like your new job."

"Thank you," Eren smiled, and pushed the stop-button, "Say hi to Jean from me."

"He's not home yet, but I'll make sure to tell him how your first day was."

"Thanks, bye," Eren said and hung up, just as he got off the bus. He had cooled down a bit while sitting in the bus, and he zipped his jacket and pulled up the collar, while heading for his apartment. It took him a couple of minutes to reach the building, and he opened the door to the hallway, and began climbing the stairs.

As he reached the second floor and unlocked the front-door, he could hear the scratching sounds of an old Aerosmith-record, and he kicked off his shoes and dumped his jacket on the floor, to run to the living-room.

"You're home early," he beamed, as he saw Levi, who was standing in the corner of the room, painting on a large canvas. Eren wrapped his arm around him from behind, almost making the raven-haired drop his paint-brush and cough as all the air knocked out of him.

"Y-yeah," Levi said, trying to loosen Eren's grip on him, "Welcome home."

"Thank you," Eren whispered against his ear and let go of his boyfriend. Levi put down the paint-brush and turned around to take a look at the brunette.

"How was your day?" the raven-haired asked as he wrapped his equipment in plastic and hung the apron, he always wore while painting, on a chair by the easel.

"It was good, actually," Eren said and scratched his neck, trying to remember everything that had happened that day.

"Tell me what happened," Levi smiled with a tired expression on his face.

"Are you okay?" Eren asked and grabbed Levi's wrist as the latter turned to walk to the kitchen.

"Yeah, I'm fine," Levi answered, but when he saw Eren's worried face, he added; "I've just been thinking about you a lot today. I really hoped you first day at your new job, would be good."

"You've been worrying about me?"

"Of course," Levi stated, and locked eyes with the brunette, "Now tell me about your day. I'll go make us some coffee while you talk."

Eren followed his boyfriend to the kitchen, where Levi made coffee while chewing on a piece of toast. Eren told him about how he had trouble finding the right place, but managed to find the office just in time, how his new boss had showed him around and told him to come to him, should he run into trouble of any kind. He told Levi about his co-workers and the job he had been sent out to help finish. Levi listened without saying much, while pouring the coffee into two mugs and handing one over to Eren while placing himself on the counter, as Eren told his tale.

"I'm very happy for you," Levi smiled, as Eren finished off by telling him about Mikasa's phone-call.

"Thank you," Eren smiled and took a sip of his coffee, "What about you, how was your day?"

"Same old. Erwin and Erd asked me to join them at the work-shop after our last lecture, but I told them I wanted to be home when you got back. Hanji dropped by and told me to make sure you called her to tell about your day."

"That can wait, can't it?" Eren smiled and placed the mug on the counter, as he leaned in to kiss his boyfriend. "I don't think you greeted me properly when I got home."

Levi nibbled on his lower lip and smirked as he said; "I said welcome home, didn't I?"

"Yeah, but I didn't get a kiss."

"Maybe I just got a bit distracted by your ass in those pants," Levi purred and pulled Eren closer, letting his lips ghost over Eren's.

"You're one to talk," Eren huffed and pressed his lips against his boyfriends.

Happy to see his boyfriend back on his feet, Levi parted his lips and let the brunette play with his tongue-piercing, making Eren sigh deeply. Levi wrapped his legs around Eren and pulled him closer, burying his hands in the back-pockets of his work-pants and squeeze his ass. Eren hummed and leaned in closer, deepening the kiss. Levi pulled a few inches back, and locked eyes with Eren, who tried to capture his lips once again. The raven-haired leaned further back to keep Eren from closing the gab, sending him a teasing look. Eren leaned in, placing his hand on the counter for support.

"Do you remember last year, when we-" Levi started, before the sound of pottery hitting the counter, cut him off, "Holy fucking shit, that's hot!" he yelled and pushed Eren away to get on his feet.

Eren had knocked over his coffee, soaking Levi's pants in the hot liquid. Knowing what Levi was about to ask him, and remembering something similar happening, Eren laughed as Levi removed his pants fast, and sent him a death-glare.

"I'm sorry," Eren said between his laughs, trying to catch his furious boyfriend who looked at the coffee-stained pants in his hands.

"I don't think you are," Levi huffed and slammed the wet pants against his boyfriend's chest, ordering him to clean up after himself.

"I am," Eren said, trying to suppress his laughter.

"If you really are, then get on your knees and make it up to me," Levi said, and grabbed a fist-full of brown locks, forcing Eren's head back, and trailing kisses and gentle bites all over the sensitive skin.

"I have a better idea," Eren said and grabbed Levi's wrist, asking him to let go of his hair. Levi looked at him curiously. "How about we go grab early dinner at that café where we had our first date, and then when we get back, I'll make it up to you in any way you want?"

"Sounds fair," Levi smirked, and pulled Eren's face closer to his own, "Your treat?"

"Of course!"

"Fine then," Levi smirked and kissed his boyfriend again before going to the bedroom to find a clean pair of pants. Eren tagged along to get out of his work-clothes, after cleaning up the spilled coffee on the counter. Levi's order.

After changing clothes - and Levi teasing Eren a bit - they pulled on their shoes and jackets, and Eren grabbed Levi's hand, just as he opened the front-door. The sight that meat him on the other side of the door, made him let go of the warm hand just as fast as he had grabbed it.

"D-dad?" Eren stuttered, as he finally managed to get words past his lips, "What are you doing here?"

"I came to check up on you," the man on the other side of the door answered, "I came back from a business-trip weeks ago, and you didn't reply to my texts or answer my calls."

Eren suddenly remembered getting a new phone and a new cell-phone-number after dropping out of the university, and now that he thought about it, he never sent his father his new number.

"I'm sorry, I forgot to let you know that I changed my number," Eren mumbled, feeling his stomach turn from his fathers firm look.

"You should be, I was worried about you! When I couldn't get a hold of you, I called your mother to hear if she had heard from you recently, and she told me you've dropped out from the university," Eren's father said, taking a step closer to his son.

"Eren," Levi then said, as he could see the cold sweat on the nape of his neck, grabbing his shoulder to comfort him.

"Who are you?" the man asked, as he looked at Levi.

"That's my... friend," Eren said. As soon as the word had left his lips, he felt his stomach tighten and he looked down, hiding his face behind his bangs.

"Levi," his boyfriend said, and reached out to shake the older man's hand.

"Pleasure," he said and let go of the raven-haired's hand, "Do you mind if I talk to my son alone for a moment?"

"Be my guest," Levi huffed, trying to hide his displeasure with the other man. He went back into the living-room and turned on the TV.

"If you're expecting me to just pay for your apartment and give you money everytime you need it, I suggest you stop ignoring me like that, Eren."

"You're never here anyway," Eren mumbled, still hiding behind his bangs. After a year in in therapy, he wasn't going to let his father push him right back to where he started. He was thankful Levi hadn't said anything when he introduced him as a friend, but this was not how he wanted it to be. He didn't want to be afraid of what his father thought of him. He didn't want to hide who he was, or who he was with, just because this man - who barely had been there through his childhood - suddenly came knocking on his door, scolding him for not contacting him.

"I've been home for weeks now, Eren," his father said.

"I don't care," Eren hissed, and looked up at the older man with determination in his eyes, "You don't have the right to come here and scold me out of nowhere. You don't know what I've been through, 'cause you were never there for me! I left the university because I got anxiety-attacks - you know why? Because I've never learned that it's okay to be who I am. I was bullied through my entire childhood, and mom did everything she could to make it stop and help me, but it just wasn't enough. And you never noticed how bad it was, 'cause you were never there. So yeah, I dropped out and now I'm working as a carpenter, and I'm happy! And Levi is my boyfriend, not my friend. We've been dating for a year now, and he lives here with me."

Eren's father sent him a puzzled look, taking in everything his son had just said. Levi reappeared from the living-room, as he heard Eren yell. He walked up to his boyfriend, and stoke his back to calm him down again, while he had trouble hiding the smirk that had been stuck on his face ever since he heard Eren call him his boyfriend.

"Y-your mother never told me that," the older man finally said, scratching his neck.

"Of course she didn't. She wanted us to have a good time whenever you were back home, and after you got divorced, she had to take care of me alone. You..." Eren paused and looked down again, "You never asked."

"I, ehh... I didn't know it was that bad," Eren's father said after a few moments silence, "You always seemed so happy when I came to visit you."

"Well, I wasn't," Eren bit and grabbed Levi's hand again to feel the calming caress of his boyfriend's thumb against his wrist.

"Eren," Levi mumbled to the brunette, while both him and his father was staring at the floor, obviously both lost for words, "Why don't we postpone that dinner? I'll go make us some coffee and you show your father to the living-room."

Eren nodded slightly and stepped aside to let his father inside. He knew this wouldn't be fun or easy at all, but Levi was right; he had to talk this out with his father and make him understand who he was and why.

"So... that's your boyfriend?" the older man asked, as he and Eren settled on the couch, while Levi had gone to the kitchen.

"Yeah," Eren mumbled, still not looking at his father.

"I didn't know you were - I mean - your mother didn't tell me that..."

"Well, I am," Eren said firmly, "Maybe she just didn't want to tell you a whole lot about me, if you didn't bother to talk to me yourself."

"Eren, I'm really sorry about all this. I really didn't know it was that bad. I thought your mother would tell me if you had any trouble, since I couldn't be there myself. But she's always been very independent - I should have asked, I see that now."

"She paid for my therapy, you know," Eren said, "I don't know where I'd be now if it wasn't for her and Levi. I hope you don't expect to just jump right back into my life, just because you're back home for now. I know you own this apartment, but I can find another place to live."

"No, don't be like that," his father said, just as Levi came back into the living-room with a tray in his hands, filled with coffee and three mugs. He placed the tray on the coffee-table.

"Can I say something?" Levi asked and crossed his arms in front of his chest. Eren and his father looked up at him, and when no one answered, Levi continued; "I think it's a shame you haven't been a part of Eren's life before, but I'll tell you this; Eren has been through way too much in the short amount of time I've known him, and he has finally managed to get back on his feet. I won't let you come here and knock him right back to where he was a year ago, where all he thought about was what other people thought of him. If you're not ready to accept him as he is, you can leave now."

Eren looked from Levi to his father, not really sure how to feel about Levi's speech. He had gotten used to Levi always speaking his mind by now, and of course he was right. He had said exactly what Eren wanted to say, but due to his unsolved feelings towards his father, he couldn't express himself as clearly as Levi could.

"Is that how it is?" the older man asked, and looked at his son.

"Y-yeah," Eren answered, "It would have been nice if you'd been there through my childhood, but I don't necessarily need you now. My psychologist told me not to hang around people who won't accept me as I am, due to my issues. But if you can accept me, I might let you in." Eren looked back up at his father, locking eyes with him. "Slowly," he added.

"I don't want to lose my only son," the older man said honestly, "I'll do my best to be a good father. Please just tell me if I do anything wrong."

"I will," Eren said lowly.

"And so will I!" Levi added, still looking at the older man stubbornly.

"Thank you," Eren's father said, and offered Levi a kind smile, "I'm glad to see Eren has someone to take care of him."

Levi poured the coffee into the mugs and handed one over to Eren's father before grabbing his own and Eren's, and placing himself on the arm-rest behind Eren, handing him his mug.

"D-do you want to tell me about what happened at the university, since you had to stop?" the older man asked nervously, trying to ignore Levi's hard glare.

Eren told his father about what had happened at the university ever since his first day there. It felt awkward to talk about, but Levi's comforting hand on his shoulder, made it a bit easier for him. He told about his friends back at the university, how they had found him back in his home-town after his first anxiety-attack and how they had convinced him to go back. He told him about his second attack, and how he had decided to drop out as he realized he wouldn't be able to handle the many questions and strange looks. The older man looked worried, as Eren told him how he had felt completely hopeless, and Levi had offered to stay at his place until he got back on his feet, and how his mother had insisted on him going to a psychologist. She had insisted on paying, and help Eren out with his bills, and Levi had made sure his boyfriend never had to stress over food or money. A couple of months had gone by, when Eren finally began to feel a bit better. His old friends from the university came by everytime they had the time, to check on him and make sure he knew they were still there for him. Eren had talked to his mother about getting back to school, but she told him she wasn't sure if university was the right place for him right now. He decided to try out something different and went to a student counsellor to seek help.

By then, Levi had though about moving back to the dorm, where he still had all his furniture and paintings, but Eren had asked him to stay - and move in permanently.

Levi kept a firm look on Eren's father, everytime he mentioned them being in a relationship, just to make sure the older man wouldn't say anything about his son being gay. The older man tried to ignore the death-glare, as Eren continued telling about how his psychologist had mentioned a more physically demanding job, to help him get over his anxiety. She had told him, that physically hard work often helped out on psychological difficulties, and then he began looking for a job as a craftsman.

"And you're happy about your new job?" the older man asked, when Eren told him that he had almost just gotten back from his first day at the new job.

"Yeah, I think it's a good place," Eren answered.

"Will you let me know if you need anything? I can help you find another job if this doesn't work out. And if you need money-"

"No, it's okay," Eren cut him off, "I don't need that, we'll manage."

"I'm not trying to buy you, kiddo," his father said, placing a warm hand on Eren's thigh, "I just want you to know that you can always call me if you need anything. I'm sorry I haven't been there for you sooner, but it won't happen again."

"Thank you," Eren said, and Levi finally offered his father in law a smile.

"I should get going. You were about to go out when I came here, weren't you? Let's do this again soon, 'kay?" Eren's father said with a smile, and patted his son's shoulder.

"Yeah, I'd like that," Eren smiled, and got up to show his father to the door.

"It was nice to meet you, Levi," the older man added before pulling on his jacket and hug his son.

"Likewise," Levi said and wrapped his arm around Eren as they said goodbye to the older man and closed the door.

Eren sighed and leaned his head against Levi's. "You still wanna go out?"

"No, let's stay here. You seem tired," Levi answered and wrapped his arms around his boyfriend.

"Kinda. It's been a long day. And weird!" Eren sighed and leaned into the hug.

"I'm proud of you, Eren," Levi whispered against his ear.

"What do you mean?" Eren asked and turned his head to look at the raven-haired.

"You managed to overcome your fear of what your father would think of you, all by yourself."

"No, you were there too," Eren said and pulled back to drag Levi back into the living-room.

"Nope, I was in here when you told him about your past and me," Levi smiled, and dumped down on the couch next to the brunette.

"Oh... You're right," Eren said as he thought back at the conversation at the front-door. He felt tired but happy, knowing that he had actually managed to stand up for himself. He still felt like he couldn't have done it without Levi, but it was true - he had been alone with his father when he had told him the truth. And it seemed like his father had realized what had happened during Eren's childhood, and was willing to build a better relationship between them. It really was a good day.

Levi leaned in and kissed the brunette gently, but as soon as Eren parted his lips, the kiss turned rougher. Levi dragged his fingers through Eren's hair and Eren responded by wrapping his arm around Levi's waist.

"So, you still want me to make up for what I did in the kitchen earlier?" Eren whispered against his boyfriends lips and let his tongue out to play with Levi's.

"No, I think it's my turn to do something for you," Levi purred and climbed onto Eren's lap, cupping his face, and kissing him deeply.

"What are you gonna do?" Eren asked and pulled Levi closer.

"I'm gonna tell you something," Levi whispered and locked eyes with his boyfriend, "I love you, Eren."

Eren looked into Levi's steel-grey eyes, letting the words settle in his head and feeling the butterflies in his stomach.

"I love you too," he said and pulled Levi into a tight hug. They sat there, wrapped in each others arms for a long time, without saying anything. They just enjoyed each other's presence, feeling lucky to be able to share something as beautiful as love.


End file.
